Going Home!

Our sweet girl's blood has returned to normal! Which in turn has allowed us to purchase tickets to go home. The beginning of March, we will head back, look for a home, move our stuff and try and figure out how to speak Chinese again.

I am here

No, I cannot sing.

No, it has no music.

But, I wanted to share the song I wrote with you. It's written from the perspective of me speaking to Makaria. And from Jesus speaking to His children.



As I wrote it, I was wanting to convey how I felt as we went through the process to get Makaria. Nightly, I would look at her picture and yearn for her to know that we were coming. I would face her picture that sat on my computer and tell her "Good night, baby, we are coming!" I cried myself to sleep more than once as I turned away from her and tried to find peace. Her picture (ie., the "frame") was the only thing I had that gave me hope that this process would ever turn into a daughter. During that process, I understood the longing Jesus has for His children. We wander and fetter along, having no idea that Jesus is caring for us. That He is waiting for the day when we call Him Father. He looks at our "frame" (Ps. 139) and lovingly counts the hairs on our heads. So, this little ditty is two-fold. It hopefully conveys my thoughts about wanting Makaria as my daughter and wanting to yell through the computer screen "I am coming. Just wait! I'm here!" It also shares how Jesus longs for His children's hearts. For their trust. He so desperately wants His children to understand that His hand is secure. That He is there and won't abandon them. I want Makaria to get that. Jesus wants us to get that.



I am here



I stare at your frame thinking of your future,
but wanting your today.
Believe in my presence, look for my grace.

There will be a time when close won't seem so far
When you will trust in my voice as the moon does the stars.

There will be a day when you will find no season to blame
'cause I have breathed life into your heart.
I have given you a new name.

I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.

I cover your future, grace covers today.
Grip onto my promise that redemption's been made.
Rest my child, you don't have to try
I carry your freedom, I've given you life

I am not leaving, you belong to me
in the dark of the night, hope as you dream.
For I am counting your days, measuring your time.
till I can clean off your hurts
and say "you are mine."

I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.

I wish I could restore days lost to wondering
if I existed, if anyone was coming.
But child, I am here now and tomorrow the same.
For when I look down, I see not an orphan
but a child wearing my name.


I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.

Chinese Mothering Controversy

We've had lots of people ask our opinions about the article on Chinese parenting.

This excerpt has stirred much angst here in the States. I don't know if I have it in me to dissect this article and do a full comparison of Chinese and American mothering. There's too much back ground that would need to be given on both sides. Honestly, it could fill up an entire blog.





I've widdled down the premise to two things that have to be decided when you embark on parenting.

1. What is my definition of 'LOVE'?

John Piper puts it beautifully by saying this:

The love of God is not God's making much of us, but God's saving us from self-centeredness so that we can enjoy making much of him forever. And our love to others is not our making much of them, but helping them to find satisfaction in making much of God. True love aims at satisfying people in the glory of God. Any love that terminates on man is eventually destructive. It does not lead people to the only lasting joy, namely, God. Love must be God-centered, or it is not true love; it leaves people without their final hope of joy.

As an American parent, our default setting is to love our children by making them happy. As a Chinese parent, they love their children by making sure they don't get sick and study hard. They love their children by assuring that they will have opportunities in the future.

We need to ask a few questions as we decide how we want to love our children:

a. What does it mean to express love to them?

b. What does it mean to receive love back from them?

c. Practically in my day, what does love look like as I parent them?




2. When I envision my child at 18, what do I want him or her to look like?

At all the homeschool conferences I go to, they encourage us to do a little self-reflection. We make a list of about 10 things that we want for our kids by the time they turn 18.

For example, we want our kids:

a. To love serving others.

b. Be able to share the gospel clearly with others

c. To love have a curiosity that spurs on their love for learning

d. Have a global awareness.

e. Understand how to put together a logical argument

These are just a few of ours. But, if my goal for my children was to have them be the top mathematician in their school, then I would start at 5 and drill in math facts. By 12, they would be doing algebra and spend many hours a day working out problems. This is where the Chinese parents flourish. They see the end goal and they discipline their children to achieve that goal. Whether you agree with it or not, it is commendable that they stay the course. When their children whine and complain at not liking math, the Chinese parents don't waiver. Some might see this abusive, but Chinese parents see it as very, very loving. See? It all depends on how you define love and what you wish to see your children grow up to become.

In my opinion, the wisdom in the article comes when we step back and question our assumptions. Let us not be parents who just survive until the kids turn 18. Set vision. Stay the course. And pray like there's no tomorrow.

Finding God in the Wait

As I hear stories of friends I miss in China, I sit here and wait. We have been waiting for 5 months now. Historically, I have not waited well. But this time around, I don't want to wait like a bratty child who sits with their arms folded at the dinner table waiting for their mothers to serve their every request. I want to sit in awe and gratefulness that He has given me another day to serve Him. But gratefulness in the wait is as hard to find as good Chinese food in America.

I sat in the car as I waited for my kids this afternoon and Lord spoke clearly to me about His wisdom in our wait. Here we go.


Proverbs 2:1-5

"My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,

making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;

yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for
understanding,

if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden
treasures,

then you will understand the fear of
the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.

This proverb is chalk full of insights into the heart of God. I'm only going to touch on a few. There are several things in these Scriptures that walk us through understanding God in more fullness. Because there is and if/then clause, you have to work back words a little. We know that the result is that we "will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." (Prov. 2:5) So, knowing the result we obviously need to understand the path to get there. Start back up at Proverbs 2:1 and walk through these with me:

In order to know the Lord in my wait, I have to:

1. Receive

receiving the Lord's words means humility for us.

2. Treasure His commandments

treasuring His commandments means we have to protect ourselves in the Word. We only treasure things we value and we want to show off to other people. His commandments are a means of sanctifying us and glorifying Himself. They aren't oppressive and legalistic, rather, they point us to our need for Jesus. And that is something to be treasured.

3. Make my ear Attentive

When I am trying to read something or hear lyrics to a song, I need an attentive ear. For me that means that all talking, tapping pencils, scraping of chairs has to cease. I am diligent about making it quiet because I want to hear whatever it is that is that I am listening to. Do I work that hard to hear God? Do I make space and time for stillness? Bottom line is that when a good tv show wants my ear attentive, I make it happen. I just pray that I am that intentional in my times with the Lord.

4. Incline my Heart

When we incline our hearts towards something, we lean into it. We press in. And honestly, when we lean into the Lord, it means that we are leaning away from other things and other people.

5. Call out for Insight

There are several times that we find ourselves calling out. We raise our voices because we feel like we aren't being heard; we are angry; or we are excited. All three of these can be summarized by saying that we are desperate. And just speaking would be an insufficient expression of our hearts. When we are calling out, we are expressing our deep desperation for God to respond in some way.

6. We seek out the Lord's wisdom like silver and search for it as for hidden treasure.

If I knew that silver was hidden for me to have if I could just find it, I would be consistent and relentless in my pursuit. The time spent searching wouldn't be a burden nor would it cause anxiety because I know that the reward is good. I wait patiently because I know that what I get in the end is valuable.

This is where I find myself now. We don't know if and when we will head back to China. There is no guarantee for us in any of the blood testing that is happening for our daughter. But, if I grow anxious in my waiting for answers, then when I finally have some, my response will be "Well, it's about time God! I've been waiting a LONG time. Finally!" But, if my wait is patient, hopeful and trusting. If I walk through these Scriptures in Proverbs 2 and call out for the Lord then my wait will be blanketed in thankfulness and hope. And whenever God finds it good to share His plans with us, I will be grateful and humbled instead of acting like a spoiled kid at dinnertime.

When I think of the fact that God took a long time to save Paul, it gives me much comfort. You see, God saw Saul persecuting His church. He saw the pain that Saul was causing. The destructive path he was leaving behind him. God saw all this and yet waited for Paul's conversion. God had the bigger picture in sight. God apparently saw that if He waited, that He would get more glory.

The summary of what I have learned as we wait is that God doesn't owe it to me to tell me the when, how, where and why's of our wait. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure the end result is the part that God is ultimately concerned with. He is concerned with how we wait. It's in that tension that we grow. It is at that point of limbo that we call out in desperation and seek a God who is bigger than ourselves. God knows this about us humans. So, He gracefully lets us wait because He knows that we will come out in the end with a deeper love and satisfaction in having Him as our Rescuer.

Wait graciously my friends. God wants your waiting. Let Him rest on your hearts and grant you peace beyond all understanding because He is a good, loving and sovereign God.

My song" Find a way" by Selah

Hey, readers. This is Selah. And I really enjoy singing and writing Worship songs. And this is one of my mom's favorites and the latest one's I have done, And it is called" Find a way". Here it is:

Find a way

Find a way to my heart , Lord
For I can not break it,
From stony to flesh. But you can!!
Because you are the everlasting God.

*Chorus* You are the marvelous one,
You are the King of Kings.
And every pinch of pain felt on Calvary was so I could live; was so I could sing.
So find a way , Lord. Find a way, through my stony heart

Verse 2. Lord, you can find a way
through my stony soul and my stubborn heart.
Because you are the marvelous Savior! # 2 times sing



*Chorus* You are the marvelous one,
You are the King of Kings.
And every pinch of pain felt on Calvary was so I could live; was so I could sing.
So find a way, Lord.
Find a way, through my stony heart.




This song was inspired by Donna Stuart's song " Brave to Believe". To know more about Donna Stuart go to this website: Donna Stuart

How to help your expat friends

No, we don't have medical clearance yet, but I am trusting that the Lord will have us go back to China in a few weeks. We are ready. But, with that, comes the unfortunate part of traveling-the whole saying good-bye part. I won't write on it for long because I hate it. I said good-bye to my best friend two days ago and she asked me what she can do to love me and my family when we are gone. I sat up last night and wrote down a few things. They are not at all earth shattering, but maybe they will help you know how to love the people you know who live outside of America.


1. Send email. Even if it’s trivial, like, I ran into your grandmother at the Bingo hall last night. And she won $15 dollars and a gift certificate to Luby’s. Send them that email. They will laugh and then feel like they are connected to your world in some small way.


2. Send care packages. Put in them the small things that mean a lot to your friend. It doesn’t have to be big, just meaningful. Ask them what things they are craving and put those in. If you can’t afford a care package, maybe send an e-card or buy them a single song online and send it their way. Or send snail mail.

3. Pray for them. And then tell them that you are praying for them. Your friend wants to be reminded that there are people in the States contending for them and their work.

4. Go see them. I realize this is rather impractical for most people. But, if you have the resources and can get time off then do it. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to have friends come and see your world. You would experience the sounds and smells that make up your friend’s home.

5. Ask them questions about what their days are like. Don’t assume your friend is too busy to answer your curiosities. It shows them that you want to understand their day. We’ve had lots of people tell us that they were afraid to email us because of security. If you are talking about your personal life and what is going on, there is no problem in most places. Ask your friend for email parameters.



We have even had families that get their kids to send our kids emails. This engages our children and gives American kids a glimpse into life overseas. Be creative and be consistent. This will speak volumes and will sustain that person when days get discouraging and they want to use the words in their new language that they learned on the street but they shouldn’t repeat to anybody.


Hope this helps.

My boys.







My girls.










I love them all.

Kids' Reading Series

Ok friends, I need your help. What are your favorite kid's series'? My kids are huge readers and they've pummeled through a lot of what we've got. We're looking for something new.

We've done:

Magic Tree House
Nancy Drew
Junie B. (she's a bit sassy for my taste though)
Boxcar Children
American Girl
Encyclopedia Brown
and a few others that I'm forgetting at the moment.

Shoot me your favorite so that i can stock up before we head back overseas. They also LOVE biographies and have read almost all of the Historical and Christian Heroes put out by YWAM. I highly recommend those, by the way.


Thanks!

Questions to Ask for 2011

The funny thing about the new year is that it's really just the next day. Friday turned to Saturday, just like it does the rest of the year. But because the ticker moved from 2010 to 2011, it adds weight and power to the change. These are a few questions that I found here to ask ourselves at the beginning of a new year.

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?


I'm going to try and go through these over the next few days in my morning time with Jesus. Good questions to get me thinking for this year.

Happy New Year!

Twas the Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house
all our creatures were stirring much louder than a mouse.





We ate Chinese hot pot with my uncle and aunt
with cabbage and noodles and an Obama rant.







We grabbed some friends and hopped in the car
to the Blue Bell factory that wasn't too far.

We saw the machines and the workers galore
then we ate lots of ice cream, left us all wanting more.

People thought it was field trip, but I must declare
we are one little family, no reason to stare.






All the kids got along, not a complaint did they mutter
Like Helen Hunt in Twister, she grabbed onto an udder.




The kids all waited impatiently for
the guy to scoop their servings and then asked for more.







Then we grabbed some friends and headed down
to eat Ethiopian food on the north side of town.

Makaria ate the injera until
her face was all stuffed and she wouldn't sit still.

All the kids loved the food and the place
where the waiters all had Ethiopian faces.

We are thankful for friends who understand
our family, our lives and the values we command.









Next, it was time for the craft that Charis did make
A pig pinanta for all the giggling kids to break.





Cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve morn
with red and green frosting and waistlines all torn.






We got dressed in our fancy clothes to prepare
to head to a nursing home and share.

the Christmas story and a few songs
cookies and laughter to remind them they belong.




I love the old Vern who sang out in the middle
of our O Holy Night, it made us all giggle.

What a blessing it was to love on those people
it was worship without a pew or a steeple.



That night our family came over and ate
a big honkin' dinner and stayed up late.

We put props in a bag for skits to perform
pimp hats and stool pigeons our plays did adorn.





Christmas day came and we all shared
our gifts to the nations, nothing could compare.
This year we forsook gifts and instead did give
money to places where others did live.
Providing goats for farmers and formula for babies,
change in the Middle East and resources for ladies.

Later that day in a Texan like way
we hopped in the spa and finished off the day.






I'm grateful for a Christmas this year
that brought others joy and wiped away tears.
Jesus is good and He is our Lord,
the joy He has given, no one could afford.

Merry Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas!

I will post more on our week when I finally stop eating pumpkin cheesecake and get my pudgy fingers to tap on this here keyboard. It's been a great week.

A little baking time

Since being in this country of convenient foods, I have taken full advantage of how stinkin' easy it is to cook. Each of these things below would have taken DAYS in China. And while I'm prone to exagerration, you can ask anyone living overseas. I would have had to make the frosting, the marshmallows, graham crackers, and cake all from scratch. When I see how much labor can go into a simple snowman cupcake, it takes the creative wind out of my sails sometimes. But not here! Open a box, dump in an egg or two. Peel back the lid on the frosting and we're golden. It's been fun. Thought I'd share a few we've done here lately.



We had all the cousins make turkey cupcakes. It was messy and fun. I've had to get good at not trying to fix my kid's creations. I have this idea of what it should look like and I want them to conform. Ya, that doesn't usually happen. So, I've learned to rejoice in their creations.




I stole this idea from a friend of making melting snowmen. They are perfect for living in Texas. And the cookies are just about as tall as the snowmen that you can make here.











Then we made some not-so-melted-snowmen.




Then I ran out of white frosting, so I used chocolate because if you've ever lived in a place where it snows all winter, you know that this is actually what snow looks like after the first snow.




We had so much fun making them. Have fun baking!

Santa or no Santa?

Too many debates and questions are forced into one of two categories... "good" or "bad". Most of the time, we see this as ludicrous. For example, are knives, the Internet, or movies good or bad? Obviously, it depends on the situation, the needs of people, consequences, etc.... A better framework is between "good" and "better". (Often, knowing what is "best" is beyond us.)

That's how we should approach the Santa question. Every Christmas, many Christians ponder (or at least should ponder) whether to tell there kids that Santa does not exist. The typical response of many is, "Santa is not bad. Why not? It's fun." That logic of course does not work for adults and sex... "it's not bad. Having an affair would be fun." I hear people objecting now...."that's a different issue entirely! Teaching Santa doesn't hurt anyone." That is precisely the problem....parents don't realize how much harm it does to many people.

First, Jesus gets less honor when kids' (and our) attention is given more to a make believe fat guy who gives gifts according to our good deeds, not grace.

The fact that people don't see the harm in Santa illustrates how little they treasure the name of Christ being loved and enjoyed supremely in human hearts. Therefore, it's a heart issue: what are we most excited about, most talk about, and most think about?Our kids? What are they most excited about, most talk about, and most think about?

Second, it hurts our kids. How? First, it deprives them of the annual chance to single-mindedly think on the gospel, the good news of Christ's coming. Do we think so little of it that we would allow for distractions? The greatest way to love anyone, kids included, is to help them savor the glory of Christ. It would be absurd for us to celebrate Dora the Explorer or Mickey Mouse more than my kid on his or her birthday.

Third, besides our kids, other people who watch our lives miss out on seeing that Jesus matters as much as he does! This is one of the easiest, clear ways Christians can stick out.....as they should.

Fourth, for many kids, it sends confusing signals about trust, when they find out that their parents and teachers have lied to them. Someone very close to me has this testimony of hurt b/c they felt deceived and foolish.

In short, people perpetuate the Santa story because they want their kids to have an "experience" or a "feeling" this time of year. The problem is not that; the problem is that people don't think Jesus is satisfying enough, in fact the source of better "experiences" and "feelings".

Functionally, what are we celebrating as "the gospel" (the good news) at Christmas? Kids remember what we get excited about. Do we boast in the cross or Santa?

It's ironic that today if a teacher were to tell the students that Christmas celebrates Jesus' birth, which all agree on, it would create controversy. However, if they tell kids that Santa exists, which ALL ADULTS know is false, they are commended.

Something is wrong here when we suppress the truth and rejoice in a lie.

Here is our blog from last year on the topic, The Issue of 'Santa Claus'

How to Destroy a Child's Imagination

We found this on Justin Taylor's blog and thought it was interesting.


We have not read this book, so we can't endorse it, but we thought the points that were made were intriguing and made me want to check it out.

The publisher’s description:


Play dates, “helicopter parenting,” No Child Left Behind, video games, political correctness: these and other insidious trends in child rearing and education are now the hallmarks of childhood. As author Anthony Esolen demonstrates in this elegantly written, often wickedly funny new book, almost everything we are doing to children now constricts their imaginations, usually to serve the ulterior motives of the constrictors.




Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child takes square aim at these accelerating trends, while offering parents—and children—hopeful alternatives. Esolen shows how imagination is snuffed out at practically every turn:



*in the rearing of children almost exclusively indoors;

*in the flattening of love to sex education, and sex education to prurience and hygiene;

*in the loss of traditional childhood games;

*in the refusal to allow children to organize themselves into teams;

*in the effacing of the glorious differences between the sexes;

*in the dismissal of the power of memory, which creates the worst of all possible worlds in school—drudgery without even the merit of imparting facts;

*in the strict separation of the child’s world from the adult’s;

*and in the denial of the transcendent, which places a low ceiling on the child’s developing spirit and mind.





Gives me lots to think about. Having a creative child who sees the world differently is a huge value of ours. Articles like this keep me on my feet.

Malachi and Mom Date

My buddy and I were long overdue for a little Malachi and Mom date time. The new movie "Mega Mind" was out and we decided to give it a try. But first stop was dinner.






We decided to eat at the food court at the mall. Only high class for us. He had Sonic, but was more excited about the strawberry milk shake and the Guinness Book of World Records that came with the kid's meal.






Then, it was off to the movies. When your date is 6, this is what you do at the back of the movie theater. I'm going to let him know that 10 years from now, that's still what boys do at the back of movie theaters. No need for him to think otherwise.




I love this kid. We had a blast together. We laughed and talked about how hard a dolphin's tail is and how clown fish can live near sea anemones without getting hurt. He's full of wonderful facts. He's also quite the gentleman.



Can't wait for our next time out.

Out and About

Here's a few from around town in Santa Fe. This first one is the cafe we ate at every morning. We sat there until they had cleared our entire table. And then we sat there for about 15 more minutes until there was a shift change. And yes, there were no crayons or kid's meal.







We went out hiking one day and this view was about 50 feet outside of our house.




















This above picture is taken from our balcony the morning we left. Until next time my mountain home friend...

Santa Fe modes of Transportation

I've got lots of pictures from our trip to Santa Fe. Two families offered to fly Brad and I up to New Mexico and stay in their mountain home for a few days. We thought about it for about .3 seconds and we accepted their generous offer. Our 12 year anniversary is this month, so we decided to make this our celebration. It was awesome. We ate, walked, read, sat, watched two movies a night, played games and ate lots of dessert. It was fantastic! I'll post more pictures as the week goes by, but for now, we'll call this post "Transportation."



















This is me leaning against the Lexus Land Rover like I own the place. A girl can dream. I'm even wearing my Hollywood sunglasses. It only felt right to be wearing them as I leaned against the luxury SUV.

























The weather was incredible the whole time. It was fantastic to spend some down time with Brad. We got to really share and hear each other out on lots of things. Thanks to those families for blessing our marriage in such a tangible way.