Thursday, January 20, 2011

I am here

No, I cannot sing.

No, it has no music.

But, I wanted to share the song I wrote with you. It's written from the perspective of me speaking to Makaria. And from Jesus speaking to His children.



As I wrote it, I was wanting to convey how I felt as we went through the process to get Makaria. Nightly, I would look at her picture and yearn for her to know that we were coming. I would face her picture that sat on my computer and tell her "Good night, baby, we are coming!" I cried myself to sleep more than once as I turned away from her and tried to find peace. Her picture (ie., the "frame") was the only thing I had that gave me hope that this process would ever turn into a daughter. During that process, I understood the longing Jesus has for His children. We wander and fetter along, having no idea that Jesus is caring for us. That He is waiting for the day when we call Him Father. He looks at our "frame" (Ps. 139) and lovingly counts the hairs on our heads. So, this little ditty is two-fold. It hopefully conveys my thoughts about wanting Makaria as my daughter and wanting to yell through the computer screen "I am coming. Just wait! I'm here!" It also shares how Jesus longs for His children's hearts. For their trust. He so desperately wants His children to understand that His hand is secure. That He is there and won't abandon them. I want Makaria to get that. Jesus wants us to get that.



I am here



I stare at your frame thinking of your future,
but wanting your today.
Believe in my presence, look for my grace.

There will be a time when close won't seem so far
When you will trust in my voice as the moon does the stars.

There will be a day when you will find no season to blame
'cause I have breathed life into your heart.
I have given you a new name.

I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.

I cover your future, grace covers today.
Grip onto my promise that redemption's been made.
Rest my child, you don't have to try
I carry your freedom, I've given you life

I am not leaving, you belong to me
in the dark of the night, hope as you dream.
For I am counting your days, measuring your time.
till I can clean off your hurts
and say "you are mine."

I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.

I wish I could restore days lost to wondering
if I existed, if anyone was coming.
But child, I am here now and tomorrow the same.
For when I look down, I see not an orphan
but a child wearing my name.


I need you to know I am not leaving.
I need you to know I am here to stay.
Till dawn breaks new mercies
Till waking brings new days.
I am here.
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