Sunday, October 31, 2010

Texans


Things I love about Texans:

1. They wear scarves like accessories. I just saw a girl with a tank top and 2 scarves. Those who have actually lived in the cold, know that scarves are no joking matter.

2. All soft drinks are called "Coke" and they are all drunk in cups at least the size of your thigh.

3. Texans like to hunt all types of living creatures. And they will bark at each other as if it's a sport to sit in a big stand and shoot the creatures that have been trained to come to that exact spot and eat corn. If you hunt with a bow and arrow, I will grant you the word "sport". If it's with a gun and a feed stand, I'm gonna have to call a spade a spade....you are doing a "drive by" on a dear.

5. We put bumper stickers on our cars that talk about guns, being a Republican and expressing our right to secede from the Union.

6. We feel sorry for real Mexican food because it's infinitely inferior to Tex-Mex.

7. We talk about football like it's a matter of life and death. And we tell our sons to "man up" in hopes that one day they will be big tough football players and buy their moms a home.

8. Allowing your infant child to take their first sip of Dr. Pepper is a rite of passage.

9. We complain when it dips beneath 32 degrees because we don't know how to drive in freezing weather. So we cancel school, stay home from work and buy canned beans so we can "hunker down" for the night.

10. Texans wear boots all year round. And oversized belt buckles that have the initials KT on it. We make up for it in our undersized jeans that lead to blood clots in our shins.


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