Walmart, oh Walmart what do I say?
The feelings and emotions I want to convey.
Your blue and white sign lure me right
to your front door like a moth to the light.
As I walk I am struck by the people around
the mullets and pajama pants abundantly abound.
I try to focus on the pretzels and bread
but I am distracted by the lady with fruit on her head.
Many people are wearing shorts that are riding
in places where skin should rather be hiding.
The prices are low, the items are cheap
but is it safe for me to enter, is it safe for me to creep?
I like it best to shop fairly late,
Why do your prices all end in 98?
As I walk briskly to my car each Monday
I am escorted by Rick in his security Hyundai.
And my Chinese friends are forever grateful
for the jobs that I realize make Americans hateful.
Walmart, oh Walmart you make my life easy
even if your store makes me feel queasy.
