Sometimes you just don't need words...

Last few from the parents trip

Here's a few more pictures from my parents trip. We had a wonderful trip with everyone. It went by much too quickly, for sure. I'm having trouble with blogger, so pardon my wayward 'the' that's dangling in space.































Here's Kesed-about 9 weeks now! He's rolling some and smile often. He's been a great baby so far. I'll tell you, it's hard not to spoil him when you know he's probably your last.





The grandmother's got these costumes for the kids! Now we'll have some things to go along with the various objects Malachi uses as a sword-pencils, sticks, half eaten bread, crackers...pretty much anything will do.



We have some good friends of ours visiting right now, so we'll try and post some of those pictures soon. We also had a great time having some Christmas parties this weekend. We'll blog that later also.

Olympic Park and Urgent trip to Beijing

Here's a few more pics of our trip with our family. Right now, actually, Brad is on his way back from Beijing with my sister and her husband. She has an abscessed tooth and needs a root canal. But the doctor was able to drain it (ouch...) and she can get the rest done in the States. Then they had to take the slooow train back to our city. The fast train takes 2 hours. This bad boy that they are riding comes in at a whopping 5 hours. Just what my sister wants to do, I'm sure. But at least they will get back tonite and tomorrow we will celebrate Selah's birthday.




Malachi's got Uncle Casey right where he wants him.




Aunt Kim and Selah posing with a random statue at the Olympic Park.



Here's part of the gang sitting with these three fat rolling men at the Olympic Park. I'm not sure there's an Olympic event that includes "fat, rolling men."



Post Thanksgiving meal. Getting our crew to all sit still and snap any kind of picture is nothing short of a miracle. But my sister's the master photographer and she got some.


Selah and Malachi are with Mimi and Grandpa at their hotel and watching Shrek 3. Carrie and the smaller 2 are at home and are going to bed by 7:30. Pathetic, I know.

This is just a small update on things here. We're having a great time!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Curried fish, peppered noodles, pizza and Indian tomato soup....just like every thanksgiving. We ate Thanksgiving at my parents hotel's International Buffet. It was wonderful and NO dishes! We all had a great time eating and swimming and then headed to our house for some dessert/dinner.




Here's my parents, sister and brother in law and us as we ate. What a blessing to have them here.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Family Coming!

Carrie is going to pick up my family tomorrow and we are sooo excited. We'll get them from Beijing tomoro and come on back here the same night. They will be here for about 8 days. We'll post some pics when we've got 'em.

Wretched I am! Who will rescued these kids from these parents of death?

Every parent knows the frustration of constant reminding, of seeing your kids continually not trusting you, of seeing your sins grow legs and live in your house for 18 or more years….We see what it does to our hearts…sometimes anger, other times hurts, other times their sin discourages. We then see so quickly that we are enflamed against the same sins that linger in us, that are so slow to die. How the Lord must fees both anger and sadness in view of our sin! Our Jesus grieved and “marveled because of their unbelief,” (Mk. 6:6). Yet, how little we rage against our own sin! How indifferent and excusing are we! How awful is our sin. How I learn every day to hate my sin more and more. Oh how beautiful grace is for those who have trusted entirely on Christ for the forgiveness of this wretchedness within us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SELAH!!!

Here's our sweet 6 year old! I can't believe it. She told me this morning "I, like, even feel bigger today, because I'm 6! Like, taller and stuff!" She's full of life, curiosity, joy, empathy, concern for others, and love for the spotlight. I could go on and on about how much we love our Selah. She's such a blessing and it seems as if the Lord is growing in her daily. She LOVES to pray and worship through song and dance.

And that hat she's wearing- I made it!

We're going to wait to have a party when Carrie's parents, sister and brother-in-law come to visit. Only 4 days!



Here's our lazy Saturday morning. We try not to get out of bed until 7:00. One day a "lazy saturday morning" will actually include being lazy.

For all you 30 somethings

Since the Christmas season is quickly approaching, I just couldn't help but dig into the archives of greatness.  This is from the classic "The Christmas Story"-one of the greatest of all time.  So long as you forgive the unsantifiedness of the plot.  Is "unsanctifiedness" a word?!  I'll leave it because it works here.  

Well, I have discovered here on the other side of the world, another Randy Parker (Ralphie's Brother).

For those of you who have never seen the movie-to you, I am sorry for your deprived upbringing (and the totally confusing blog).   But those that can relate, I love Ralphie's brother Randy.  So here's our tribute.

Good Times

Last night, we had over Charis' baby sitter, her husband and a girl that is living with them (she is also my tutor).  We had a spaghetti dinner followed by dessert.  My tutor can speak decent English, but we told her that we wanted to try and speak Chinese most of the time.  So we did!  About 85% of our evenings conversation was in Chinese!  We were really excited and only made about 785 mistakes :).  But they were gracious and kept telling us to just slow down and take our time in speaking.  

Both our helper and tutor love kids.  The kids were watching VeggieTales in this bottom picture, so we all joined them for a minute.  The idea of singing Christian vegetables was very interesting to them.  

We had a great time and can't wait to have them over again.  My parents (Carrie) come next week and they are all excited to meet them!

Simple Pleasures

Ok, it's time for a "simple pleasures" blog. This week has been blanketed in thankfulness at how grand our Lord is and how He has allowed us to recognize the things we are to be thankful for.

1. Being able to read signs in Chinese.

2. Watching the old man clean his plant, leaf by leaf, each day at 11:45.

3. Having your 5 year old daughter come to you saying "mommy, I'm sorry for my disobedience today. My heart wasn't right." And the most amazing part was that it was unsolicited by mom and dad. Totally her initiated.

4. Singing worship songs with our kids at night. Charis (our 21 mo. old) sings at the top of her lungs with her hands raised straight above her head.

5. Watching our newborn sons eyes get huge so he can take in everything.

6. iTunes

7. Making homemade volcanoes

8. Being able to see my feet (that's for all my recently pregnant friends)

9. Apple cider and Pumpkin spice candles

10. Introducing the concept of Christmas to those who have NO idea why it exists.

Kids and Trials

It's been a weird week and Kesed here has beautifully captured how we feel now. Over the last few months, we've known probably 10 people who have had babies. Some with emergency c-sections, some at 23 and 25 weeks along, some totally healthy. And then we've got friends who are suffering from terminal illnesses or lost jobs. We've also listened to quite a bit of teaching on suffering. As I process our friend's suffering and try and make sense of it in Scripture, I am reminded of Paul. He suffered insurmountably. And he continued in joy and continued in faith. Why...because he knew that Jesus was worth it. Do I really live as if "dying is gain"? Really and truly, do I believe that heaven is better than life now. Paul KNEW heaven was worth it. But to have joy in the MIDST of it is hard for me to imagine. To treasure Christ in both suffering and times of peace. Brad and I were talking that sometimes treasuring Christ above all, in times of peace, can sometimes be the more difficult task.

Through all of this, I have been brought to a place of thankfulness. Thankfulness for today. For today, all my kids are healthy, my husband is wonderful and life is good.

But the key is my continued thankfulness when God decides to take away, when he decides to break me down.

I know this is heavy, but it's also healthy. Too often, we don't ponder on our suffering and eventual death. And we should not merely ponder these things in order to appreciate this life more (to cling to life can easily become and idol of worship.)

but to appreciate our Savior who suffered and died and yet overcame death because of his perfection. It is THAT that we are to rest in. That Jesus is worth it.

I added the pictures in order to come up for air.

Suffering and Death

It's been a weird week and Kesed here has beautifully captured how we feel now.  Over the last few months, we've known probably 10 people who have had babies.  Some with emergency c-sections, some at 23 and 25 weeks along, some totally healthy.   And then we've got friends who are suffering from terminal illnesses or lost jobs.  We've also listened to quite a bit of teaching on suffering.  As I process our friend's suffering and try and make sense of it in Scripture, I am reminded of Paul.  He suffered insurmountably.  And he continued in joy and continued in faith.  Why...because he knew that Jesus was worth it.  Do I really live as if "dying is gain"?  Really and truly, do I believe that heaven is better than life now.  Paul KNEW heaven was worth it.  But to have joy in the  MIDST of it is hard for me to imagine.  To treasure Christ in both suffering and times of peace.  Brad and I were talking that sometimes treasuring Christ above all, in times of peace, can sometimes be the more difficult task.  

Through all of this, I have been brought to a place of thankfulness.  Thankfulness for today.  For today, all my kids are healthy, my husband is wonderful and life is good.

  But the key is my continued thankfulness when God decides to take away, when he decides to break me down.  

I know this is heavy, but it's also healthy.  Too often, we don't ponder on our suffering and eventual death.  And we should not merely ponder these things in order to appreciate this life more (to cling to life can easily become and idol of worship.)

 but to appreciate our Savior who suffered and died and yet overcame death because of his perfection.  It is THAT that we are to rest in.  That Jesus is worth it.

I added the pictures in order to come up for air.

The Humility of Guanxi

There is a very important dynamic in Chinese culture we see daily here. It’s called guanxi (“relationship”)…which basically means high speed relational networking. We’re reminded of the mob but without the crime, shooting, etc… In other words, relationship is everything. Who you know makes every difference in daily life…not merely getting a job interview, but dictating every cause and effect of your life. Anyway, while guanxi can created various injustices and frustrations, we see that there is yet an inherent humility to the system. At least, they see with humble, realistic eyes their need for others. They do not presume an independence from others such that casual persons can be brushed off so easily. From their perspective, it is worth asking, “Who knows who is connected to who? Or what “use” they may have?” While distorted manipulation is far from love, some lessons are worth learning. In our home culture, we think we are self sufficient individuals who don’t need other people. It’s far from humble and grossly naïve on our parts. In our day of ipods and other isolated hobbies, we fear our generation has lost the skill of relating, the art of conversation, and a genuine appreciation for people. Just think about it, people pay 4 bucks at Starbucks everyday to stick headphones in their ears, stare at a laptop, and not talk to anyone….yet [so we think] we are “in community”. It’s a sad reality.

Reason 27 why we love China

Yesterday, we had to get our dining you light fixture worked one, including some rewiring. Our light would not turn off ever. I saw a big flass a while back when I turned the light on and it was never the same. The wiring was a joke. Together, the electrician and supplies cost about 75 cents!

Very very thoughtful

This is not normally a political blog. However, I do appreciate thoughtful article that make us think. An article in Newsweek by Michael Gerson, No Cause for Hypercaution, is well worth reading, regardless of your position on Iraq. I have found myself fed up this past year, but it is always healthy to listen to both sides, as there are intelligent, well intending people on both sides who typically are arguing for different means to often similar objectives.

An Ode to Lotion

Saturday night has welcomed the unwanted guest of winter. Literally, it swept through our city and took all the leaves and color with it. I came from Houston, where fall apparently migrates to in the winter, because it rarely gets cold. That with the added fact that it never dips below 98% humidity has left me in a place of naïveté. My entire life, I never understood why people put on lotion. I thought it was to smell nice and to keep your hands soft. So I tauttled off to Bath and Body Works just like all of my teenage friends and bought the latest multi-fruited varieties of lotion. I got them for Christmas, birthdays and just because. All the time, having NO idea what function they serve outside of my humid hometown. I have now resided in Boston and China, where both are extremely dry in the winter. I have found myself tossing the Cucumber-Melon, for the grandma brands like Luberderm (where they don’t even try to make it SOUND pretty). I have had to discover lotion because my skin is in dire need. It’s staging a revolt.

Why the sweet nothings about lotion, you ask?! Because I am always looking out for the things I’ve been missing all my life. I like to cling onto the things that officially categorize me as an “adult”. And I think using Luberderm lotions is just ONE of those very things.

Foggy Epiphany

I just got back from taking the kids to school and doing a little
exercise. While out, I had an epiphany.

Both yesterday and today have been blanketed with fog. Maybe 25 ft.
of visibility. While I was walking today, I was led to have the
following thoughts:

I am being passed by bicycles and motorcycles on both sides of me.
As I watch them pass, their image soon trails off and they enter into
seeming nothingness. Their riding is slow and oblivious to what is
around them. And all I see is hundreds of people riding one by one
slowly into the fog only to disappear forever. As I was watching
this, I had the eery reminder of why we call this place home.
Because that is exactly what is happening. Slow, uninterrupted travel
into eternal nothingness. I also saw one young man with his glasses
pulled up to his forehead. Because maybe if he used something to
help him see clearly, it would fog up where he really wanted to go.
Others darted in front of cars they didn't see. They had no idea
what kind of danger awaited them right around the corner. And yet
they all keep riding.

I want to interrupt the riding. To clear the fog and make clear
paths. Some will choose to ride with their glasses pulled up to
their forehead and others will stop to look around for a clearing.
Whatever the person, I am to interrupt the travel.

Choose to interrupt someone's "travel" today.

Homemade Pop Tarts

A friend of mine sent this to me and I've had several requests to pass the recipe along. These tasted really good. Our family preferred the brown sugar, but both were great! We put food coloring in the frosting and put sprinkles on top. A fun cold day activity.

TOASTER PASTRIES

Pastry:
8 T. unsalted butter
1 c. sugar
1 lg. egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
4 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar (optional)(I didn't put this in 'cause I don't have it, and it was fine)
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
½ c. milk

Fruit Filling:
1 ¼ c. jam
¼ c. flour

Brown Sugar-Cinnamon Filling:
6 T. soft butter
3 T. flour
¾ c. light brown sugar
1 ½ tsp. cinnamon
¼ tsp. salt

Frosting:
2 ½ T. water or milk
1 ¼ c. powdered sugar
Colored sprinkles for decoration


Cream butter and sugar in a large bowl. Add egg and vanilla and beat well.
Blend flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt in small bowl. Alternately add flour mixture and the milk to butter mixture, beating the dough until it's well blended. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator for several hours, or overnight. (Mine chilled for 10 min…didn't have time)
Before removing from refrigerator, prepare fillings. Mix jam and flour together. Mix all brown sugar ingredients until smooth.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Divide dough into quarters. Roll out each piece separately on lightly floured work surface. 12-8 inch rectangle, 1/16 inch thick. Cut into 8 3x4 inch pieces.
Place on lightly greased baking sheet. With a pastry brush or your finger, lightly moisten the outside edge of each rectangle. Spread slightly more than 1 T. of filling onto each rectangle, leaving about a 1/8 inch border all the way around.
Place tops of top of bottoms. Seal each tart with fork dipped into flour. Prick top of each tart 10-12 times with toothpick.
Bake 18-20 minutes until lightly golden brown. Transfer to rack to cool
Frost and sprinkle.

Best eaten within a day or two of when they're made.

Cowardice

It was recently pointed out to us that the first ones listed to be thrown into the Lake of Fire in Revelation 21:8 are “the cowardly”. Wow…if this doesn’t make all of us all examine ourselves in order to find where we have been ashamed or afraid to share the good news of Christ, or when we have not loved others radically at the cost of our pride or expense, then nothing will.

In our day, when so many of our Christian leaders want to make everyone like them in order to grow a big church, (contrary to the fact that Jesus himself said everyone would hate his people), this passage is deeply challenging, saying to us, “Speak up!”

xiao bao bei

"xiao bao bei" means "small treasures." We are considering these to be the things our kids say that are priceless. We'll add them from time to time to our blog because they just say so many things that are cute and often times convicting.

"The clock is not our boss." "Mommy and Daddy are."

-malachi

Burma and subtle genocide

We have a friend who is a research specialist on the Southeast Asian subcontinent (i.e. Thailand, Burma, Vietnam, etc…). He informed us of a subtle strategy of “acceptable genocide” that the Burmese Junta have undertaken. They have taken leaders from minority group communities and expelled them to other majority group locations. In their place, the government has sent in majority group leaders and a substantial population of majority people, creating inter-ethnic marriages with the minority group women. This being done across the country over time, slowly minority groups are dieing out, being replaced by the majority ethnic group. In essence, genocide is happening through relocations using political and economic policy. Yet this goes unnoticed by the world. Such a strategy is being used elsewhere in the world. We know of another country in the region that has long occupied another people group’s region. Their strategy has been manifold. Through economic and political strategy, through flooding the population with the majority people, they have also tried to “westernize” it so that their customs and national identity become diluted to mere “culture”, in the same way that many people in America think of Christmas as centering on Santa or Easter as a celebration primarily of Easter eggs. In the present state of world affairs, no country demands the moral high ground in the eyes of the rest of the world in order to rebuke such a regime. Pray for Burma.

On this note, we too should beware. Brutal pagan governments can be more shrewd than the Church, for how often we become so infatuated with our culture that we cease being authentic Christians and wear Christianity as a sort of social badge. In fact, we then are killing ourselves! Who needs enemies?

Why Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

Newsweek

Why Money Doesn't Buy Happiness

Actually, a well thought out, researched article, not merely some conjecture with a few anecdotes.

Crazy Trip Home!

If you've been journeying with our family for any time now, you know we do the airplane thing rather frequently. And everytime in my small faith, I get anxious and freaked out about traveling with all of our children. And I often refer to our traveling as an episode of the "Beverly Hillbillies." Well, everytime we are sent what we call our "traveling angels, " just to prove to me that my worry is in vain. This time our angels came in the form of the Iraqi National Soccer Team.

Our trip to Thailand was defined by food poisoning. Thank Goodness, on the way home, Kesed was the only one who threw up and it was on me, so no big deal. We flew all the way home with the entire Iraqi soccer team. Although we couldn't communicate, they were wonderful with our kids. They played and held and were very attentive with our kids. Brad and I both felt an overwhelming desire to apologize for what has happened to their country. All we could do was smile and offer warm pleasantries. Curse the Tower of Babel and therefore our lack of ability to communicate.

We then hopped in the car that we had hired to take us back home. It was actually a van and a car this time. We all piled in and were off in just a few minutes of arriving at the airport. We stopped after about 30 minutes of driving to take off the license plates. This is fairly normal (albeit illegal, I'm sure) so this doesn't surprise us. So we get to the first of three toll booths. The van paid to go through and we gunned it past the toll guard. That was followed by peacock-esque squealing and yelling as we sped away and wove through traffic. But no license plate means no being caught. Our driver is FLYING down the road and we are seatbeltless. He shaved about an hour off the time it usually takes to get us home.

Tollbooth #2: Pull up to tollbooth and looked for closed booths to go through. None were open so we did a u-turn on the highway and headed down some side road to avoid aforementioned toll. On the way, almost being careened into by a truck carrying shredded paper.

Tollbooth #3: Both van and car find a large bus to get behind and we coat tail it through, therefore, avoiding the fee of all 3 tolls.

There was also a random stop on the side of the road to exchange something and then continue on. Tired and dirty, we walk into our apt. to find our electricity has been turned off. Candles it is for two days. But we're back to normal now and started back at school today.

We got a laugh out of all of this as we both exclaimed "we're home." The moralessness of this place was a reminder of why we are here.

Going Home!

Well, we received Kesed's passport and visa this week and we will be returning home on Sat! It's been a whirlwind week, but we are excited to be going back. As we have started thinking about going home, we have realized just how inadequate we are.

Inadequate to learn the language

Inadequate to build relationships that are fruitful

Inadequate to love our children as they should be

This is really not a pity party, but a full realization that there is nothing we can do in ourselves that will bring fruition to our days. It's only through the movement of the Spirit in us and in our lives that will allow us to be a part of anything good. He is good and has continued to show that to us, daily. So we travel back to our city, hoping that we have furniture and that our apartment hasn't been ransacked by theives. But we've got our kids and our laptops and everything else is expendable :).

Elephant Park

We got to go to the Maesa Elephant Camp last week and here are a few pics. Thailand is famous for their elephants. They used to be workers, moving huge logs and helping in construction, but they are now trying to preserve the species and therefore have outlawed a lot of the work the elephants are allowed to do. We have been here before and really appreciated how well kept the elephants were. Brad got a call on his cell right before he and the kids finished their elephant ride. The guy said "hey man, are you busy?" Brad replied "well, I'm on an elephant right now."

He and the kids got to have a 30 min. ride around the park. The kids loved it!!

Charis....not so much. This was a majority of her elephant park experience. She actually fed one a banana towards the end of the day. But mostly it was spent in the arms of this sweet woman.

The elephants put on a show where they play soccer, throw darts, play harmonicas and paint these beautiful pictures. Some even sell for hundreds of dollars.

Here are the elephants taking a bath. This is one of the babies peering up at onlooking tourists. They also have these poor women who stand down rivere with large baskets, catching whatever the elephants decide to "drop" in. Think your job is rough?!

Here's Selah and Malachi feeding them sugar cane and bananas. We did an impromptu lesson on elephants where we made masks, read about them online and talked about their possible extinction. The next day we spent the entire morning feeding, watching and riding them. It was really a blast.

Kesed's Baby Shower

We were blessed with a sweet baby shower on Wed. We celebrated with some friends who also just had a baby. To get to have a baby shower for #4 is such a treat. He got some non-hand-me-down clothes, towels, diapers and some other wonderful things.

Here's Malachi after sweating outside and playing with some friends.

So after much pouting about having to come to Thailand to birth, we've realized that it has been a real ministry to our family. We've had tons of fellowship, help with the kids, and western food (we even had a week of meals made for us post birth!). It's been a much needed break for us and we thank everyone here who has been such a blessing to us.

31

So I've officially broken the youth barrier and am comfortably sitting in the world of 30. Never in my "where do you see yourself in 10 years" high school questioning, did I see me as a homeschooling mother of 4 who just gave birth in Thailand and was waiting to return back to her home...in CHINA. Funny how the Lord works. But life is good and I wouldn't want it any other way.









My sweet husband had some friends watch our kids while he took me out on Sunday for the ol' birthday. We ate at Mike's...a hamburger joint filled with anti-Bush cartoons and edgy humor, but the best onion rings we've had. Either hemisphere. So we downed some burgers, fries and onion rings with a diet coke on ICE! That's one thing I miss from TX is the vastly oversized drinks and tons of ice.





Then we strolled through the Sunday night market. I love outdoor markets, to smell the foods of vendors and incense from nearby temples, watch the sellers try and make a buck, listen to the street performers....perfect. I also got to buy my birthday gift there: 2 beautiful skirts and two necklaces, all for a total of 8 bucks.

Then it's off to Starbucks....the real Motherland. It's a 3 floor Starbucks by the way. And here's the best of it: I had to wait for a decaf and the manager felt bad so she brought us a free green tea frappacino and 2 coupons for free drinks another time. It was a wonderful night spent with my two boys: Brad and Kesed.

How He Made Each Unique

While I was in the hospital with Kesed, I was reading Psalm 139 over him and it brought me to reflect on all 4 of our children.  As they have grown, the differences between them are countless.  But Brad and I got to laughing as we remembered the physical traits that we noticed within the first 2 weeks that stood out the most between the 4.  For example:

 

Selah:  born with red hair

Malachi: has a hole on the upper part of his right ear

Charis:  has a small hole on her lower back near her tail bone

Kesed:  after he eats, he burps, poops, gets the hiccups and sneezes twice.  No lie, almost every time

 

 

It’s been an overwhelming joy to realize how the Lord wove them together in my womb.  And how He has cared about each hole and each hair since the beginning of time.

 

Sure signs we might be screwing up our son by living overseas

Things Malachi loves to eat. He even pleads for them at restaurants.

1. Raw Onions

2. Seaweed

3. Cold Bean sprouts with garlic

4. “I don’t like green peas unless they’re in my ice cream”

5. Tomato smoothies

6. Cucumber

7. Doufu (“Tofu”) noodles

8. Broccoli

9. Corn and Raisin Ice Cream

10. Spinach

But he says no to:

1. Cookies and Cream Ice Cream

2. Cheese (except on pizza)

3. Strawberries

Following EVERY Rule in the Bible?

While quite misguided, some of his experiences will have you in tears (with laughter)!

Check out the Newsweek article "Extreme Makeover: What if you spent one year following every rule in the Bible? A. J. Jacobs did exactly that."

The Girl Version

Carrie here. We are all at home and settling into what we like to call “our” normal. I’m feeling great. Just tired, but healing well. The guy version of the labor story is this: It’s a boy!

The girl version is below:

As Brad said, we had a friend take us to the dr. at 5 am on Wed. They got us into our room and basically left us alone. Our dr. was very into having as natural a childbirth as possible. I am all about natural childbirth, but was also considering a little modern medicinal help this go around. I just new I couldn’t do labor this time because I was just really tired. But au natural was our only option, so there we went. I had no monitors hooked up to me, no IV’s, no stitches, barely any nurses, nothing intrusive. Brad brought

music and was praying like a mad man during labor. It was actually one of the most worshipful times for me in labor. The Lord allowed me several ‘moments of mercy’ during the active labor stage. Which if you’ve ever had a baby you know that active labor affords you very little breaks. But I literally could sit and listen to hymns, pray and talk to Brad in the middle of it all. I had several breaks of 2-3 minutes during active labor. It was all really wonderful. And getting to watch Brad catch was so much fun and really ministered to him.

I immediately got to hold and nurse Kesed. Like as in the cord was still attached to the inside of me and I’m nursing. Brad got to cut the cord and then Kesed stayed with me for a long time. They bathed him a couple of hours later and then it was off to our own room. Again, the nurses were pretty hands off and I had to ask for just about everything. Tylenol, new bedding, water….But the staff was nice and put up with my inability to speak any Thai. I ate fried rice, broth and fruit for most of my meals and went on home the next day. I even had 2 nurses say to me “oh, you still fat.” So apparently Thai women walk out of the hospital looking as if they were never pregnant. I just nodded and laughed.

Just a few more pictures of the new one. We promise not to flood our blog with new baby stuff, but we figured that it’s what everyone wants to see for now. So here goes:

Doing a great job loving their brother

Brad trying to feel what pregnancy is like :)

our doctor

The Meaning of Kesed's Name

Some people are curious about the meaning of Kesed’s name, in Hebrew written dsx.

The name has special significance to us for a few reasons. First of all, it is arguably God’s favorite self designation in the Old Testament. It was the way God revealed himself to Moses when he said to God, “Show me your glory!” (Exodus 33:18-34:7). This passage is referenced again and again throughout the OT as the grounds for hope and joy. God is faithful in love to His covenant people. Second, and more personally, it was God’s primary instrument in freeing me (Brad) from much internal angst of heart. For various reasons, I discovered that my heart was constantly feeling apprehension even when I thought of the love of God. Like people in the past who had failed me or shown half-hearted love, I displaced this onto our Lord. In short, I realized that I looked at God’s love for me as if it were forced, something God was compelled to do because of Christ, but otherwise something he did not want to give. In other words, my heart often felt that I was on thin ice with Him, as if he would be easily angered and were not really that interested in my joy. Oh how wrong I had been!

The Lord had me spend a lot of time in the Scriptures last spring, doing a word study on “kesed” (also often transliterated hesed). Micah 7:18 was radical to my previous manner of thinking. “He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love”. Here is was, the grounds for genuine unconditional love. I could be assured of His enduring love not because of my inherent worth (even Rom. 3:12 says that in our sin, we have become worthless apart from Christ), but because of His worth and the delight He has in loving. Love does not arise from the worth of the object but in the Lover. God is free to give and to take and he chooses to lavish love on His “rescued remnant”, his people.

This naturally led me to wonder, what kind of love is this? The greatest picture of steadfast in the OT is actually masked by translation tradition, for Psalm 23:6 often used the phrase “goodness and mercy” in the place of one Hebrew word, “kesed”, translated everywhere else as “steadfast love”. Therefore, a consistent translation would be “Surely steadfast love shall follow me all the days of my life”. Again the Hebrew is liberating in its illumination. The word “follow” here is everywhere else used and translated as a military term to convey pursuing, persecuting, hunted, or chased. (i.e. Lam 5:5; Ex 15:9). In other words, kesed-love is an aggressive, unyielding love that hunts us down for the sake of our joy in Him. God’s steadfast love “persecutes” (in an obviously good sense) His children. This completely undermines my and many people’s conceptions of love, wherein we seek merely to do our duties of kindness and not do anything terribly bad to others. Rather, to love like God is to chase after, hunt down, and aggressively pursue other’s joy! Unconditional love does not look to the excellence of others’ heart; rather it arises when we find out greatest delight in lavishing such radical love.

When I turned to Romans 8:28-39, I found the clearest, most beautiful expression of kesed-love in the New Testament. It says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰ And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. ³¹What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³³ Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Therefore, I hope you will join with us in praying with the psalmist, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:14)