Saturday, August 25, 2012

Of Course it's Risky...It's Parenting!

In lieu of Pat Robertson's moronic insights into adoption, I only want to comment on a couple of things. I'm not going into detail because Together for Adoption did a great job here.  They have articulated most of the things I would say about it, so I'll let them chime in. (My husband keeps trying to explain Robertson's comments to me in a rational way. I know he is not an evil man, but his comments just make me want to punch a hole through the wall. If you have a better take on it, please tell me. It would be good for my soul.)




There is just one piece that I want to shout about in the form of Caps Lock: 

JUST BECAUSE YOU BIRTH A CHILD, DOES NOT GUARANTEE A HEALTHY LABOR, DELIVERY, AND BABY. 

SCIENCE HAS GIVEN US THE FALSE IMPRESSION THAT THIS WORLD OWES US A HEALTHY BABY.

***Here's the deal about that,***

GOD IS ULTIMATELY IN CHARGE OF A BIRTHED BABY AND AN ADOPTED BABY. YOU CANNOT BELIEVE THE LIE THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT, EVERYTHING WILL BE EASY AND JUST WORK ITSELF OUT.

I have too many friends who have lost babies or have chronically ill children to allow that false illusion to lie to another pregnant woman. 


I have also had far too many discussions that start like this:

"I would love to adopt one day….but (it's always here that my blood begins to boil.) we want to try and get pregnant first. We want to try and have our own kids before we adopt." (Remember, adopted kids will also be your OWN kids.) Or, it starts like this, "There are just so many risks to adoption, I'm just not sure I can handle not knowing where my baby came from or what kinds of things might be wrong with them." Or how Pat Robertson so eloquently put it, "All the things that make a baby grow up all weird." If he were sitting in front of me, I think I'd throw a shoe. 

I realize that I haven't struggled for years with infertility. I realize that I birthed babies before I adopted them, but this was not intentional. We honestly just didn't know much about adoption before we jumped into that world. I just get so frustrated with people using excuses to cover up their fear of adoption. Just lay it out there. Starting a family (however it looks) is scary. 

There are a gazillion unknowns. 

There are a gazillion expectations. 

There is one God in charge of it all. And that my friends is where we have to hang our hope. 


Birthing children can be an idol just like fancy cars, high paying jobs, and pornography. I realize it's weird to equate pornography and pregnancy. But, I have seen friends so gripped in anger, fear, and despair by infertility, that I just don't see the difference when you are talking about a person's soul. An idol is something that draws our eyes from the promises of Jesus. It's just that simple. 

When you allow fear to tell you that adopting a child is just more risky than birthing one, you are believing a lie.  Or when you believe all the sensationalized stories of horrible adoption experiences, you have let the world win. 

You have let fear win. 

Jesus found it a risk worth taking by adopting humanity. In all of our ugliness, rebellion, unfaithfulness, and greed, He took us in. Adoption isn't merely about being a family, it's about understanding that gospel. As Christians, we have been let into a family that will continue to love us no matter how we got there in the first place. 

1 comment:

  1. well I'm not sure if I can thank you for sharing that. aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh! no name calling...no name calling....no name calling. (talking to myself about Pat's IDIOTIC response about adoption, oh and yes, the one where he says it is okay to divorce your spouse with God's blessing if he/she has Alzheimer's b/c well "They won't know the difference!" I can barely speak. Literally, home from China less than 2 weeks with our sweet almost 7 yr old treasure, jet lagged and already overly emotional about the horrible way locals reacted to her appearance and then saw that link and just about threw my shoe AT THE COMPUTER screen. LIVID. IDIOTIC advice! Okay, going to read the T4A response. Why is that man still on TV and why are people still asking him for advice? Good grief! Have mercy on him Lord Jesus.

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