Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My China Pinterest

There are a gazillion differences between China and America. One of them is family size. Sporting the one child policy, most homes have fewer than 7 people living in them...unlike yours truly. I've decided to start my own pinterest. Ok, so not really start, but this will be called China Pinterest, to make me and my other expat friends a little more joyful about living in small spaces. And sometimes, we just need to commiserate. 


So, here you have the launch of China Pinterest:


When your dresser breaks two weeks after purchasing it, simply pull out the drawers and stick them under the bunk bed to store non-seasonal clothing. Then, pretend that purple pillows, red sheets, and powder blue broken drawers are super shabby chic. 




As we saunter into the bedrooms, we see pillow cases and plastic bags shoved neatly into the spaces left when the air conditioner guy blew out a huge square hole for your circular pipes. It keeps out mosquitoes and rats, while adding a softness to any corner. 



Wondering where to put your 100 year old tv? Just refashion a $10 bookcase and well...put your tv on top of it. Simple, cost efficient, and doubles for a homeschool bulletin board. 


Take a circular vase and put in a protractor, two remotes, and a random plastic thing to make a modern rendition of a fish bowl. Fish are so 1990. 



When you have an entire balcony worth of space, there is no sense in letting it go to waste. Place bikes, sand toys, mops, your washer, and your dryer on them. It gives you an excellent view of the old men doing tai chi as you do your laundry in your pajamas. It's like bringing the inside out instead of the other way around. So ahead of the times.




Coffee tables do not offer enough functionality for a family of 7. Take two bookshelves and lay them on their sides. Take the top off your old broken coffee table and nail it all together. Voila! 8 more cubbies to stick things in. Like movies, books, and ballet shoes. Pretend that the paint that was stripped off the second you placed a cup on it is really a faux finish. 



When you have a coffee table that just doesn't fit anywhere, you stick it under your kitchen table. You can claim it's a modern model of table that is not bound by the constraints of connectivity. You are a family of the 21st century, you define your family's sacred spaces! Carpe Diem!


When the guys who moved your table from your last city and basically shot putted it into the truck, just pull out your glue gun and clear tape. Make sure none of the rough edges poke through. We will call this "Urban Antique."


If your children happen to ever drop a mug and the handle snaps off. No biggie, it makes a spacious and trendy toothbrush holder. 


When you moved from the States to China in the first place, it took 14 pieces of checked in luggage. These trunks are wonderful for traveling, but luggage eventually has to be stored. Our industrial sized trunks come in both red and black. There is no need for a bed frame when you have 14 trunks that you can use underneath your mattress. These also double for storing books, clothing, pictures, homeschool materials, and shoes. 

There you have it friends. May this inspire you to creativity and joy. At the very least, it will not tempt you to covet like that other Pinterest does. 

11 comments:

  1. LOVE this. I occasionally love scrolling through Pinterest, but inevitably either laugh out loud at the incredulity of trying to pull off 3/4 of it here in China or walk away altogether down on myself and my lack of mantle centerpieces. :) You may inspire me to post my own pinterest category. :)

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  2. April- Seriously! Let's start a blog trend of all China expats writing about the way their homes are thrown together. It would be super funny and make me feel completely normal.

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  3. This is just awesome!

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    1. Michelle, you could do the "How to live and function in China and still remain sane," post. You do a much better job of home organization than I do.

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  5. Buahahahaha!!! I love the balcony one. I could try that here in Texas and see how long it lasted before the homeowners association sent us a nice little certified note.

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  6. Love this! Just found your blog via the comment section of Simple Mom ... and had to laugh at this post! Adding you to my reader. Love! Our outdoor laundry space in Singapore looks like your balcony space and your aircon guy's patch fix looks like some of our "clean up" jobs from when we lived in India. CLASSIC!

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    1. So funny! I'm going to find your blog. I love learning about others living outside their own country. It keeps us humble and on our toes for sure.

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  7. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! Oh how we understand! I should do a post like this--i actually had it in mind to do my next post about the room in our apartment that i HATE and ask for advice from people about what on earth i should do to fix it (although i'm sure i would find all comments from americans living in america extremely frustraing and irrelevant);).

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    1. I wished we lived closer to you guys. It would help me feel normal and have a lot more fun.

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