Friday, May 06, 2011

A little Mother's Day suggestion

What Moms do NOT want for Mother's Day:

1. A pet of any kind. She already has multiple people in her life who puking and peeing on themselves. To add a pet to the mix means she will have to stop cleaning the kid's bathroom incidents and gag reflex issues. Because for the love of all things good, SOMEONE HAS GOT TO LEARN TO PEE BY THEMSELVES IN THIS HOUSE!

2. A nice mothering book. This one might seem counter-intuitive, but she does not need a reminder of how she doesn't match up to the other "Marthas" in the world. She wants to be Mary and sit for awhile.

3. A big outing. You see, this will require a picnic lunch...made by her; blankets her; bug repellent...bought and applied by her; and crayons for the car ride...pealed off the mini van floor and reconstructed into those paper cylinders...again, by her.

4. A plant that requires tending. Just get her some lovely daisies that she can neglect, let die and not incur one ounce of guilt.

If you are looking for a great Mother's Day gift, I've got some that are cheap and will speak to her more than any expensive item bought at a store.

1. Gather the kids and clean the house for her. Don't spend the entire time asking her where the broom is at or who broke the Windex nozzle. Ask her to leave the house for the afternoon. Send her to Starbucks to sit and read, send her to take her hair out of a rubber band and get it cut, let her go for a long walk and take pictures. Give her no back end time to be back. And then when she gets home, have a game plan for dinner that requires only two slices of bread and a jar of peanut butter.

I pretty much only have one suggestion. But, this sounds to me like the most magnificent Mother's Day gift ever.
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