I took the Grip Berkman personality profile a few weeks ago. On a scale that measured sympathy and warmth, I received a 2.
Out of 100.
When I first read that I thought, "Perfect. Two of the characteristics of both a Christian and a female and I scored a 2."
My husband and I started processing me failing the score in niceness. He assured me that I'm not a monster, but that I could manage to show a little feminine emotion every once in awhile. Imagine a husband saying that I should actually show more emotion. I've struggled with this for a long time because I am just not a sweet person. I don't see myself as mean (but I could be wrong on that too), but I've never been labeled as 'sweet'. I have friends who are just plain sweet and I'm sure I drive them all crazy.
They do things like hold your hand and scrunch up their eyebrows when you tell them you've had a bad day.
They call you precious and use doilies.
They have tea parties with their daughters and patiently braid their hair, all the time humming the theme song to "Little House on the Prairie." These kinds of people absolutely blow my mind.
I simply cannot muster that type of sweetness. There are times that I've actually doubted my walk with the Lord because I don't seem to fit into most things geared towards woman.
I'd rather be watching the football game than in the kitchen talking about manicures.
But one of the things I'm realizing is that this is straight up the way God has made me. Now, what I do with that is a different thing. I can choose to isolate myself and allow the cynical side to tear people down. I can smirk at the MOPS moms meeting right outside my office when they wear sparkly overalls. I can walk into a women's conference and not learn a single thing because I'm too busy making fun of the speakers.
Unfortunately, all of these things have happened before.
The flip side to my non-emotion is that I can be fairly objective and direct when needed. I don't panic in an emergency and I don't usually cater to peer pressure. Certainly I have tons of things to learn still, but I think as I get older, I am beginning to understand that apart from the fruits of the spirit and things commanded in Scripture, there is a lot of flex area the Lord has given us in terms of personalities. There are differences in personality that don't necessarily mean one of them is the most godly.
I'm not sure the point of all of this. It's sunny outside and I'm avoiding doing things like cooking dinner. I want to tell the women out there that they might not want to vote for Sarah Palin or cook gluten-free. Maybe 56 pairs of Tom's shoes isn't for you. Being a trendy Christian doesn't make you a godlier woman. It just makes you trendy.
God created you with a uniqueness that this world needs. Allow yourself to be transformed by the Word, but not by what you think other people are expecting you to be. The tricky part is when there are personalities that need refining. I don't want this post to be a license for us to tell others, "Stick it. This is just how I am!" We need remain humble, teachable, and thankful that God created us each individually.