About to Head to Ethiopia!

I feel like I should write some wonderfully insightful post on adoption. But I'm drained.

We are just days away from leaving to fly out to Ethiopia. We are also in the middle of moving. But I just can't stop thinking of next Monday, when the pictures we have been staring at for 6 months jump off the paper and into our arms. I'm getting to the "I wonder if she'll scream her head off for the first 5 days?" phase. I keep wondering what in the world she must be thinking. The fear she will be feeling and the joy we won't be able to express. All of the paperwork and phone calls and crazy time lines are all have an end. And we're almost at that end. It's surreal.

Internet might be a sketchy while we're there, so we don't know when we'll get pictures up. Please pray for our kiddos here and our sweet friend DY who is taking care of them all week. All the kids are excited because when DY comes over, it's "party time!" It will be hard to be gone from them that long, but we are all so excited that this day is actually arriving.

I realize this was not the most inspiring of posts. But I did just spell check it, and at least there were no misspellings. Gotta take the victories when you see them.

Television and Movies

I great reflection on the value and effects of our entertainment (written by Piper): Why I Don't Have a Television and Rarely Go to Movies

Chinese Beaches

We spent the morning at the beach for Father's Day yesterday. One of the things that I love about our city is that it's relatively clean and close to the beach. I'm actually not a huge beach fan, but more of a mountain person (which our city also has....ahh, I love our city). But there are a few things about Chinese beaches that are a little different from American beaches.

1. Because we are from Houston, the only beach we went to growing up was Galveston. And to call that a beach is a bit of a stretch. It's more of a sandy landfill surrounded by a liquid that some refer to as water. I hesitate in classifying it as water, because it's oily, brown and murky. So coming to a Chinese beach isn't much of an adjustment. Our Florida and California friends would probably blow a gasket.

2. The wonderful thing about Chinese beaches is that very few people actually wear bathing suits. Yesterday, we saw maybe 3 kids in suits. The rest were in clothes or underwear. A few adult males had on suits, the rest of us were all covered. It was nice to go to a beach where you didn't have to explain to your girls why wearing floss for a bathing suit is not appropriate, or to shield your sons eyes from the impending doom of the female body. It was a nice family outing.

3. I realize that there was seaweed, gloves, bottles, plastic bags and a dead, bloated rat that washed up onto shore, but it gave us a chance to bury to rat and use the trash to build castles.

4. It's not uncommon to see kids using the potty just wherever they feel like going. I realize this is gross to most, but when you're at a Chinese beach, it's totally ok to de-pants your kids and let them go in the ocean. When you've got 4 little ones and no public bathrooms, this is the best cultural phenomenon around. Did we partake in this activity....yes....multiple times.

I love this place.

Happy Father's Day, B

My husband, my kid's father.

Philosophizing, wrestling, loving, praying, guiding, building, nurturing, leading, explaining, reading, running, tossing, holding.

There is so much more that this wonderful man can do. He is a fantastic father who is humbling seeking the Lord's counsel as he leads our crazy little family. The Lord has been perfect in His choice for our fearless leader. We love him and cannot wait for the many more Father's Days to come.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

(The kids made the hats in the above picture. Brad's wearing the one we made together for Makaria)

Home schooling refreshment

I'm not gonna lie, home school has been rough the last couple of weeks. We've got so much going on in the background of our lives that my creative juices are being sucked away. So last weekend, I took the kids out for some outdoor school time. Another wonderful benefit (for kids and mom) of schooling at home. I hate when I get into 'survival' schooling. I don't want to just get by. I want to be creative and enjoy the time I have in school with the kids. But unfortunately, lately it's been survival mode. So I brought my camera along last weekend as therapy, to remind myself that I love home schooling and so do the kids. Sometimes you've gotta have a little self pep-rally.




Each of the kids got 2 kuai to spend on whatever they wanted in the store. They had to add up the prices of the items they selected and make sure they didn't excede their limits. It was mostly ice cream and candy. We skipped the food pyramid part of class today.



Then, each kid took some time to observe what was around them. After they found something interesting, they found me and they took a picture of it. When we came home, they described what they found, using interesting words and alliterations.
This was Malachi's picture.



Then it was off to the lake. We fished for little minnows and watched them camoflauge into the lake bottom. The kids got frustrated at not being able to find them (hence a great lesson on God's protection through giving animals defence mechanisms). And thanks to careless people and their trash that was in the lake, we also got into a little lesson about protecting the environment. Probably the only time I have been appreciative of their selfish act of littering.



Then the kids drew pictures of the lake. When asked what color lakes are, Charis responded "black, brown, and gray." I explained that in some places, water is pretty blue and green. I don't know if she believed me. After they drew, and we collected our 1 kuai/person for watching us, we sprayed the pictures with water to make it look even more like water. We didn't really collect money, but don't think I didn't want to.



Next, we took the water bottles and each kid sprayed ten red tiles in a row. Then, they went back and hopped the squares, while counting. Charis counted by ones and the older two did their skip counting of 6, 7, 8, 9. Kesed just ran around squirting innocent passers-by.



We found a nice corner and ran over there to finish the water bottle activities. We started out doing subject and prediates and then spraying your partner with water. After a few though, it turned into a full blown water war. It was great. And no time is complete without some potty humor. As you can see, Malachi fullfulled his duty and sprayed the statues rear end and invoked much laughter.







As we headed to do one last lake activity, we spotted the saturday morning-outdoor-we-don't-really-practice-ever-cute-retired-people-band. They really are cute. Not at all good, but cute none the less. Our kids love to dance with them. And if you look at the picture, when we say dance, we mean DANCE.




Alas, it was one more go at catching minnows. There were some "accidental" slips, so all the kids were soaked to the core. We never succeeded in catching any minnows, but that lead to a good discussion of the disciples and Jesus' in John 21. The disciples were frustrated (and so were the kids) at not being able to catch fish. But it was magnified for the disciples, because this was their livelihood. They were frustrated, tired and hungry....until Jesus. He took care of the disciples....in abundance. And He does that for His children too. It was a great discussion and a wonderful day.

Commanding the Emotions

There is a common but mistaken thought among many Christians. The idea is that God cannot command our emotions since we can’t control our emotions. Consequently, people excuse various emotions [i.e. much of psychology] and don’t apply Scriptures to one’s emotional life. Here’s the Bible’s response:

joy (Phil 4:4, Ps 100:2, 1 Thess. 5:16: Rom 12:8, 12, 15)

love (1 Pet. 1:22; Rom 12:9a)

thankfulness (Col. 3:15, Eph 5:20),

fear (Luke 12:5; Rom 11:20; 1 Pet 1:17) ,

hate (Rom 12:9b),

hope (Ps 42:5, 1 Peter 1:13),

grief / mourn (Rom 12:15; James 4:9),

sympathy (Rom 12:15),

anxiety (Phil 4:6, Mt 6. 25-31)

contentment (Heb 13:5),

bitterness / no grudge (Lev 19:18; Heb 12:15),

peace (Rom. 5:1, Col. 3:15),

zeal (Rom 12:11),

desire (1 Pet. 2:2),

tenderheartedness (Eph. 4:32),

brokenness and contrition (Ps 51:17),

lowliness (Phil 2:3)

coveting (Ex 20:17)

My Pride of Self-Pity

"The reason self-pity does not look like pride is that it appears to be needy.  But the need arises from a wounded ego and the desire of the self-pitying is not really for others to see them as helpless, but heroes.  The need self-pity feels does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness.  It is the response of unapplauded pride."

(Piper's "Faith in Future Grace")

To say the Lord hit me upside the head with this truth this morning is an understatement.  As a mother of 4, almost 5, this is something hidden in my heart that had yet to be exposed. 

 I want people to be awed at what I accomplish in a day. 

 I want people to feel sorry for me that I am always thinking of others and not myself. 

I want them to applaude my sacrifice to my family.  

I want them to see how tired I can get.  

I want my husband to validate my valiant efforts.

There is no humility in this.  And it's really a cry out for applause.  So when I don't receive these types of praise, I get dejected and angry.  My pride wants others to notice.  Because "I deserve admiration because I sacrifice so much."

People could say that if anyone deserved to feel some self-pity, it was Jesus.  But there was none to be found.  He knew that his identity and satisfaction was in the Lord.  When our 'self' is in Christ alone, there is no need for the praise of others.  I was disgusted at this sin in me this morning.  But so grateful that the Lord exposed it in me.  I am committed to offering up my sin of self-pity and serving with unconditional joy.  

"We Can't Do That"

Human tendency is to label anything different or strange as "bad" until we understand it. You (hopefully) learn this about yourself after a while of living overseas. One contrast between Chinese culture and American culture is the tendency in in Chinese businesses to always say "We can't do that" if you asked them for something 'outside the box'. Usually, we either just say "Yes you can" OR "Just wait until they are uncomfortable enough to actually figure it out." Either way, we usually get agitated, since in America, you always find a way. An American would never default to immediately saying, "Sorry. Can't"

On our bad days, we chalk it up to their being lazy or worse. This morning, we might have an insight that is a bit more positive. The truth is, people are rarely all good or all bad (this includes people from the opposite political party).

HUMILITY. The Chinese have it. We don't. They know their limitations. They know they can;t be "whatever you want when you grow up". They respect authority. They respect teachers and history. Therefore, that awareness breeds a humility that doesn't presume to solve or do anything they want. That thinking of course keeps them from practicing some not so difficult acts of self-initiation. When would that attitude ever be bred into them?

On a related note, we Americans tend to just care about the bottom line: Did you get it done? Well, that very attitude is based on presumption and pride, namely, that we can do whatever we want, given enough effort and information. It's destuctive in parenting and in all of life. This is sad slavery...for we can't enough change our heart and will. This is why we continue in sins like anxiety, bitterness, jealousy, joylessness.... Why do we continue not to recognize our limitations?

Miraculous Potty Training

No joke, this kid started potty training himself this week.  He's 20 months and had just had enough with dirty diapers.  3 days ago, he had an almost clean diaper, but it was too dirty for him.  He was complaining for us to come and change him.  He's been doing this for awhile now with really dirty diapers, but never almost clean ones.  So we decided to let him try out this potty training thing.

So he's been running around naked (which is actually standard kid style in our fam) and using the potty pretty much without reminding.  He's got a little duck that he sits on.  He's done all the numbers.  And he's only had TWO accidents.  In THREE days....only TWO accidents.  For those who have never potty trained, you won't quite be able to understand the deep level of praise we are offering to the Lord here.  I really, really dislike potty training.  And it seems as if God's just gonna take care of this one for us.  

Kesed will use the potty on his own.  Empty it in the toilet.  Flush.  Put the potty chair back together.  All by himself.  

I think the Lord knew we had about as much as we can handle this month.

Receiving a Call from God

Receiving a calling from God is like getting a ticket to a show. The type of event and the venue tell us what we are going to see. Therefore, different Christian callings simply mean different ways in which we will see God. The pastor or evangelist see God’s work and character in a bit of a different manner than the teacher or social worker. Yet, they are all recipients of grace. They get to perceive a part of God’s glory. Necessarily, they will miss other sights and sounds, though all eternity will afford them time to see and hear them. Therefore, when discerning His will is unclear, we must sometimes ask ourselves, “How do you want to see and savor God move to reveal Himself?”

Traveling

We just found out that we travel on July 4th to pick up our sweet girl.  And her estimated birthdate is July 6th.  And this will be the exact date that we get to pick her up!!  So for her first birthday, we will get to celebrate with her.

And for those of you who don't know, we're officially moving to another city.  We're excited. We'll keep you posted.  

So in the next 5 weeks, we've got to pack up our apartment and go to Africa to pick up our daughter.  And maybe somewhere in there we will sleep.

We're Parents!!! (again)

WE PASSED COURT!!!!!

WE PASSED COURT!!!!

We don't know anything else!!!

Help us with names

So, we need your help deciding on our daughter's name.  Makaria will be her first name.  We have loved this name for a long time and now we have someone to love with that very name.  It is Greek and means "Blessed."  In the Beatitudes, the "blessed are the....", is makarias.  We took her name from there.

We love the story of Esther.  Of her courage for her people.  The way the Lord used her (also an orphan) to bring victory. Hadassah (Ha-da-sa) was Esther's Hebrew name.   I realize that this is kind of a biased poll, because both of the names "Hadassah" and "Esther" are actually the same person.  But the names are different, so we still wanted to hear what you guys thought.  And I've also always wanted to do a poll thingy on our blog.

Her Ethiopian name will also be included, but we aren't allowed to share her Ethiopian name.  In due time my friends.  We've got our court date on Friday, so we'll hopefully know something soon.

So go to the right of our blog tell us which one you like better.  

Makaria Esther ******

or 

Makaria Hadassah ******

Mom and Dad's visit May 2009

We had a BLAST with my parents. This was their second trip out to the Motherland. This time was nice because it was warm. This made my mom and I very happy. I can't begin to recount all the funny stories and cool things we did, but here are a few pictures to sum it all up.




This is at a local park. The goal of this little game was to stick a ratty old net into nasty bacteria-filled water and pull out a lucid, floundering or completely dead fish. The kids stayed at that station for most of the time there. Lovely.



Here's the grandparents and the kids with the Olympic FuWa's. We walked around the park, had a picnic and then rested a little that day. We had a good balance of hang time, play time and adult talk time.





My little guy thought the fish were gross and instead stayed in the ball area. Probably good, because no way one of those fish was not going to be put in his mouth.



We took a day to bring them to the Great Wall in our city. It was a little crowded becausue it was May holiday here, but we had fun. This part of the Wall is nice because it's a much easier climb.





What a cute Mom I have! All our neighbors commented on how young she looked. They also all thought that my parents should move here because the swine flu is so serious in the States. I tell them that they have jobs and our neighbors simply tell me that my parents should call into work and tell them they moved to China.



Mom, Selah and Malachi took a little rickshaw through Hou Hai in Beijing. It's a beautiful area with historic hutongs. This is after the guy chasesd us down, helped my Mom, Charis, Kesed and I find the other half of our group by giving us a free ride-stroller and all.







Dad and the kiddos as we're waiting for Mimi and the other 2 to come back from their ride.



I was so proud of my parents and their flexibility with food. They ate Chinese breakfast, street food, hot pot, Korean BBQ, local snacks, the whole deal. I was really proud of them. They also did 3 sleep-overs with 3 of the kids! What troopers.



Sweet friend, DaYu and Charis playing on the monkey bars. She came with us to Beijing and hung out for few days with the fam. It was nice too to have her there while we were all crying and trying to catch a bus home. We were a mess.



I wish I could write so much more about their trip, but I figured that if you have to continue to scroll on a blog, you're readers will no longer read. My parents are such generous, wonderful people. We're hoping it won't be as long before we see them next time. It was a sad bus ride home. We Love You!

A Great Word on Christian Teaching

Again, Jonathan Edwards is right:

"I don't think ministers are to be blamed for raising the affections of their hearers too high, if that which they are affected with be only that which is worthy of affection, and their affections are not raised beyond a proportion to their importance, or worthiness of affection.

I should think myself in the way of my duty to raise the affections of my hearers as high as possibly I can, provided that they are affected with nothing but truth, and with affections that are not disagreeable to the nature of what they are affected with."

Parents and Adoption Update

Here's a little update in our world:

My (Carrie) parents came for almost 2 weeks.  It was a fantastic trip.  I'll do a blog and photo dump soon.  We had been getting in a good rhythm to where it just felt normal to have them live so close by.  And then all of the sudden, they boarded an airplane to return home.  I.hate.goodbyes.   You'd think I'd be good at them by now, with as much as we've moved, but it seems to have just gotten harder.  

While we were with them, we got an email telling us that our adoption case might not be heard next week.  I can't even write this without getting weepy.  Bottom line is that the government thinks there might be some corruption happening in the case where the child has been abandoned.  That's our case.  While I'm excited that the government is acting quickly on corruption leads, it's hard for the parents and kids who are waiting.  I feel like I'm in the last trimester of pregnancy that seems to drag on and on and on.  I am getting antsy and I have a hard time waiting.  

But I read through Deut. 8 this morning and am so thankful to the Lord for his steadiness, his goodness and his faithfulness.  He brings us into hard situations because He loves us and wants to help us learn discipline and grow through being disciplined.  Like a good father should.  We're trusting you Lord.  You've displayed yourself in perfect timing this entire adoption process and once again we're at a place of complete lack of human control.  Thank you Lord for this opportunity to grow. 

I've Been Published!

Ok, so it's self published, but none the less here's your chance to check out what I've been working on for the last couple of months.  It's called "Made in China." I've put together a recipe book of local Chinese dishes-spicy green beans, sweet and sour pork, eggplant, and tons more.  There's pictures and hints for Chinese cooking.  And characters, pinyin and an ingredient list for those of us who live here and want to cook Chinese dishes.  

 We'd also love for those who have adopted Chinese children, to be able to cook some authentic food for their kids and teach them all about the wonderful country that is so much a part of their history.   Click on the book to the right side bar of this blog or to www.blurb.com and it will send you to the bookstore that's carrying my book.  

BUT....

the best part of this whole deal is that ALL of the proceeds are going to help a ministry called Mercy Ethiopia.  They take in street kids in Ethiopia and give them food, shelter, education and hope.  Their vision is for the kids that do have parents, to reunite them with their families and provide their for their necessities, while trying to reunite and build a healthy family.  It's a great vision that will hopefully build a great foundation of physically and spiritually healthy families in this wonderful country.  Check out their web page.  

And then....

get the cookbook, pick up some chopsticks, boil some rice and get your Chinese food on.  

The book represents so much of our heart:  adoption, China, Ethiopia and food.

Knowing and Doing are totally different

James 4:17 "Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

So this verse has been kicking my tail since the kids and I went over it together last night.  This verse has been permeating many of my decisions I made today.  Last night when I went to bed, not long after, Selah threw up.  I knew I should have her come and sleep with me so that I can take care of her.  That verse ran through my head.  My flesh wanted to leave the mess for the morning and tell her to go back to bed.  

When Selah came in, Charis always comes in also.  "This is the right thing to do."  But my flesh was angry because Charis is a crazy, loud sleeper.  So this invitation meant no more sleep for me.  

Kesed was really upset when he woke up this morning.  My flesh said "he's fine, he'll get over it and go back to bed."  But that was not the right thing to do.  The right thing to do was to check on him and love him, unselfishly.  

This sounds like a day with many victories....until the afternoon happened.  I lost my temper, more than once, I put the kids to bed 45 minutes early, I got angry and was frustrated.  As I got in the bath tonight (that's the place God likes to deal with me) and I was reminded of this verse.  

It seems that somewhere between lunch and home school, I forgot it.  

I think this is a great parenting verse.  I hear all these moms who seem so loving ALL of the time.  But I'm not going to full myself into thinking they are always that patient.  We all have these times where we're at the end of ourselves and we want to crawl into a quiet room with some good coffee and sit there until WE decide to get up.  No demands.  But then I remembered the joy my family brings to me.  The joy it is to serve them.  So tomorrow, I'm going to plaster this verse to my forehead and stop making excuses for be selfish with my time.  And how if I want to see more of God, I'm going to have to eliminate the sin of knowing the right thing to do and not doing it. 

"Emotional" Calvinism

To be a Calvinist intellectually essentially means you believe what has been dubbed TULIP:

Total Depravity
Unconditional Election
Limited Atonement
Irresistible Grace
Perseverance of the Saints

However, as I have been reading various texts emphasizing God's sovereignty, I find myself even more interested in being a Calvinist emotionally.

Thankful
Unconditional Love
Limited Anxiety
Inexpressible joy
Patient

The truths behind intellectual Calvinism should fuel one's emotions. Those who call themselves Calvinists would do well to respond emotionally in keeping with what is claimed intellectually. THEN, to God would be all the glory!

Oh, buddy....

Last night, we were making some gifts for my parents who are coming soon, and Malachi got in trouble.  He was sitting in his room, very disappointed that he was missing out.  And when Brad went in to talk with him, this is what Malachi told him:

"Daddy, (sniff, sniff) I am just filled with sorrow."

Wow buddy, that's really sad.