Letter to my friends

To my friends from my passport country-

I'm sorry that we sat by the campfire that night and I didn't know what to say. Our lives have been piling forward on different continents for some time now. I desperately want you to understand my life in China, but my stories of duck blood hot pot or 6 am wedding processions seem to be a compilation of snippets rather than a constructed life story. I've tried to mold my life experience into something palatable for you, but I'm afraid that I've failed over and over again. A decade has gone by since I've been able to call you at 8 and meet with you by 9.

Friends have attended your baby showers, I have commented on Instagram.

Your small group brought you dinner when you were sick, I sent you an emoji of a penguin in hopes it made you smile.

I walked with you through grief in a few 45 minute Skype conversations.

I realize it's been hard to be friends over the internet. But what I want you to know is that my lack of physical presence doesn't mean I don't need you in my world. I think it's easy for us both to forget that as our lives press forward, there is a person on the other side of the world who loves us and needs to hear from us. I've failed at this more times than is possible to count. Time zones have made me late to wish you happy birthday. By not checking Facebook, I've totally missed your son's broken arm.

Don't give up on those of us who live overseas. We are all thankful to God that technology allows us to text you from 8,000 miles away. While it might seem we are living these radical lives for Jesus, we need you to ask us hard questions.We need you to see the person and not just the job we've been called to.

One of the things we crave overseas are people with whom we have history. It is balm for the soul to have a friend who knew you when you stayed up too late while sleeping on a pier. We still love hearing about the time you cried when the grocery store ran out of Cheez-its.

I get it. This friendship is hard. But thank you for sticking it out with me.

I might present myself as stoic, but in reality I am needy.

We need your prayers.

We need your perspective.

We need your presence.

Gluten Free cooking in China

After grieving the loss of homemade bagels and pumpkin spice coffee creamer sent lugged in suitcases, I decided to put on my big girl pants and learn to cook gluten free in China. I could almost live on bread alone, so this has been quite a journey for me and my stomach. About a year and a half ago my stomach took an early retirement from all the things I was feeding it-straight up packed a bag and moved south. After exiting denial, I found that I've really enjoyed eating GF now. Doing this in China can be tricky, but not impossible. You just don't have to opportunity to spend $85 on a loaf of gluten free bread. You simply have to make it. 



A few of my favorite websites:

Elanaspantry.com

Tons of recipes that are relatively simply. I’ve been using sunflower seed oil instead of grapeseed oil (or any of the other specialty oils she uses) and it’s worked fine. I actually use sunflower oil for all my cooking. I noticed a huge improvement in my stomach issues when I switched oils. Even olive oil was causing me issues. I can find sunflower seed oil locally, but if you can't, I linked it to TB. 

Myheartbeets.com

Lots of Indian recipes. Friend, she even has one for paleo Naan. I'm gonna name a house plant after this woman. We’ve been into curries lately, and her website is a definite go to for us. 

There are millions of great GF websites now. These are just the two I've been using lately. Really and truly, once I got used to cooking this way, I’m able to take standard recipes and make them GF pretty easily. 

Here’s the almond flour I get off TB:

  |烘焙原料| 美国进口金山杏仁粉100%纯 马卡龙专用 500g分装 

This is for about a 3 cup bag. I just order 6 at a time and they’ve stayed fresh for awhile. I usually use them within a month and have had no problems with them going bad. When we were in the States last fall, I used Honey Mill almond flour. This flour is a little denser, but still works great. 

I also like to use buckwheat flour (荞麦粉 qiao2 main fen3）It has a little bit of a nutty flavor, but it binds really well. I failed miserably with a buckwheat bagel because I put more buckwheat than almond flour. If you add too more buckwheat than other flours, your bagel will taste like shoelaces. Trust me. 

Almond flour is pretty pricey, so I usually try and cut the almond flour with another type of flour. When you’re cooking for 7, I can’t justify spending 100 kuai making muffins. But cutting the almond flour with buckwheat has been a good cost saving shortcut. I have a local friend who can bring it to me, but I imagine you can buy this on TB. It imagine you might be able to find it locally as it’s a pretty common flour in Asia. 

I’ve also cut recipes with millet flour (小米分 xiao3 mi3 fen3), sweet potato starch (use in small amounts 地瓜粉 did gua1 fen3), corn flour (玉米粉 yu4 mi fen3. Some places, this word is also used for cornstarch. You just have to look at the color and texture ）， mung bean flour (绿豆粉 lv4 dou4 fen3）。 All of these I’ve found at local stores pretty easily. Mung bean flour also binds well, but has a little bit more of a beany flavor, so I just don’t add as much. Try and look for the character 纯 （chun2), as it will let you know that the flour is pure. I haven't found that to always be the case, but for the most part, it's accurate. Oftentimes these flours will be mixed with wheat flour or they will be almond flavored wheat flour. The Chinese words can be the same, which can get a little tricky. The 纯 character should help clear some of that up. 

When I make pancakes I use corn flour 2/3 and buckwheat flour 1/3 together. and they’ve turned out wonderfully. I throw in several mashed bananas, some eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg, sometimes a little coconut milk and mix it into a batter. I have conformity issues, so very rarely do I stick to a recipe. It's a life long issue, I'm working on it. Kinda.

Soy sauce:

This is the bummer one with living here. But with these two sauces, I’ve really been able to make anything involving soy sauce. It made me super happy the day I found these on TB. I vividly remember sending texts to several people telling them what I found. These are both really big bottles. I do a lot of Chinese cooking, so I order a bunch at a time. They do have smaller bottles in the Braggs.  

Liquid Aminos. A lighter soy sauce flavor. 

  包邮美国进口Bragg有机氨基酸 无盐 儿童酱油营养超值家庭装946ml      

  Tamari GF soy sauce. A little darker.

  美国原装进口san-j 有机不含麸质豉油 无麸质酱油 防过敏592ML      

Tapioca Flour. (木薯淀粉  mu4 shut dian4 fen3） time I ordered a Bob’s Red Mill Tapioca flour Bob's Red Mill Tapioca Flour and loved it, but it’s too pricey. This one below is really more like a starch. You can find these at local stores pretty easily. I ordered this one on TB, but most of the time I just buy locally. Sometimes I use this as a filler, but only in small amount. It can make things a little pastey if you add too much. 

  印尼特产 ROSE BRAND TEPUNG TAPIOKA玫瑰花牌 木薯粉 500g      

Coconut Milk:

  泰国原装进口 丽尔泰浓椰浆 400ML椰浆含量85%易拉罐装 超浓椰奶      

I’ve loved learning to cook with coconut milk. We’ve learned how to make awesome coffee ice cream. I also use it in my curries and add it to pancake batter to add some good fats. This TB store seems to be much cheaper than other places I’ve seen. 

Coconut flour:

  临期清货Bob's Red Mill Organic Coconut Flour有机椰子面粉453g      

I loved this flour. You pay a pretty price for that love though. All the other coconut flours I’ve found are more like coconut powdered drink. Because the Chinese is the same, it can be a ton of hit and miss finding these flours. 

Flaxseed (golden flaxseed: 黄金亚麻籽 huang2 jin1 ya3 ma2 zi3)

  江门荣生行 加拿大亚麻籽 500克 广东地区包邮      

I just stick these seeds in my blender and turn them into flour. If you’ve ever cooked with whole wheat, think a similar texture when using flaxseed flour. It’s pretty coarse, so you don’t want to use a bunch. (you might already know all of these little suggestions. If so, just ignore me and take the links :) )You can sometimes find flaxseed at a local store that sells grains.





Both flaxseed and chia seed (soaked and ground) are good for binding things. This can be helpful as one of my daughters has an egg allergy. But sometimes you have to rely on science and use these egg replacers. They are gluten free, wheat free, no preservatives, artificial flavorings, sugar, or cholesterol because they are all chemicals. Awesome.

I would love to use chia seeds, but I haven’t found them affordable yet. I’ll let you know if I do.The tricky thing about GF baking is the binding. You can use Xanthan Gum to help it too, but I've found I don't often use it. 

Our whole family enjoys eating this way now. It took a little bit for me to learn how to cook so that my kids didn’t feel like they were missing out on everything. But now, they really do love it and even comment on how yucky they feel if they do eat wheat at a friend’s house. It really is hard at first, but stick with it. You will get there. Promise :)

Being Pile-Driven by a Blind Masseuse

When you look at the price and decide that a $10 hour long massage sounds heavenly, you need to be prepared for the very earthly aspect of blind massage. There is no diffusing jasmine and new-age pan flute lulling you into pampered bliss. As you walk inside, you are greeted by young men forming loogies and old women yelling about their boils. There's no spa to it. You get a massage because your muscles are broken. That is all.

The first indication that this will not be relaxing is the fact that everyone is dressed in a white overcoat and are referred to as doctors. Most of the hour is spent with them commentating on much improvement your body needs. I once had a blind massage man who kept squeezing my arms and telling me it was obvious that I didn't exercise.

These amazing men and women have either complete blindness or severe sight loss and a very heavy hand.

After you lay down and situate your face in that bed hole the game begins. I explained to the doctor that I had tweaked my neck the night before and she replied, "Well, this is going to take at least an hour."

She took her sledge hammer thumbs and started working on my neck. It was so painful that my hands went numb. I tried avoiding unconsciousness by reminding myself to buy eggs on the way home. I couldn't let my pain eek out because I wanted my neck fixed. She was pushing so hard on the back of my neck that I inadvertently started humming as she violated my vocal cords.

The pain on the left side of my neck started to ease as I began to rhythmically breathe loudly like I was some sort of race horse anticipating the starting gun. My palms were sweating and I realized that I had been chewing on the bed sheet that was pressed against my face as I lay in the bed hole. Sometimes there is brief yelping as if you've stuck your foot in boiling hot tar.

At one point, I channeled my inner "Rudy" so as to not roll off the bed and run out screaming of the room. If Rudy could play football for Notre Dame, I could endure the rest of my massage.

It was now time for my lower back. She employed both her elbows and was poking me with her index finger as she made her way down each side of my spine. I'm pretty sure I felt my non-funcionting right kidney start working right there on the bed.

Then comes the rub/pound combination. This is how most Chinese massages end. They rub your back as if to console you. Then she does the traditional chop chop to your spine, pats you twice like you're in the locker room and tells you, "You're good!" Then you're on your way. Well, you're on your way if you are still able to use your legs to support your body weight. It took me about 2 minutes to get blood moving back into my legs. I took a dizzy exit to the cashier, paid my $10, and walked out pain free!

Our MTV Movie Debut

I have had a dream of being a rockstar. Flipping my hair in an "I don't really care that I'm singing, playing guitar, and all of you are chanting my name" kind of way. Ripped jeans, cool scarves, and swanky coffee shops. When I sat down this weekend to play the piano in an MTV movie, this is not quite how I envisioned my rockstar debut as going. 

 Several weeks ago, our landlord asked us for a favor. Favors are how things are done over here. So we agreed to perform in an MTV movie about a man named Milton Gardner. 

We did hair and make-up for a really long time. This whole getting pretty stuff takes a long time, that's why I don't do it very often. They tried putting make-up on Makaria. I just stood by and laughed. She looked like she had run through a dust storm, tripped, and dragged her face through a sand pile. After the make-up artist looked up at me with desperation, I told her that none of her make-up would look right on my gloriously black child. 

They spent forever on my hair. I then went to another hair lady and she did it all over again. 

As we started shooting the first few scenes, I realized that I had received no direction from the director. I cannot play the piano, so I just pretended like I was typing my name on a keyboard. That is apparently not correct. They called someone in to teach me how to put my hands and gave me direction on where to look and when to smile. 

Kesed managed to get a picture with the most glamorous Chinese woman on set. All before lunch. 

Malachi and Charis had to jump rope in a scene. The Chinese kid got the ax when we heard the director tell him, "You are an ugly jump-roper!" This took several takes because Malachi had to run in while Charis was jumping. The smaller kids had to be jumping up and down, counting, and clapping. There was lots of hand-eye coordination happening and well, you're dealing with 8 kids under the age of 10. 

The director was so patient though and did a fantastic job instructing the kids. Another time he told a Chinese boy, "You are handsome, but you're a wuss!" 

I was supposed to be teaching a music class. Without knowing how to play the piano or any ability to sing, it required an Oscar-like performance. I'm really not into theatre, so this was quite a stretch for me.  But getting to watch my kids learn what it is like on a real life movie set was totally worth every hour we spent on that mountain. 

Then they had Malachi (who was playing Gardner as a young boy) and a boy climb a 1,300 year old tree. It's a local historical landmark that I'm sure we didn't have permission to be climbing. They made a call to local officials to take a sign down because it was interfering with the shot. They made the call, but I'm not sure they ever got an answer. The kids yelled and jumped while the tree climbers beckoned them to come up. 

Then we headed to a grassy area to play ball and other games. 

All the family actors.

Then they brought out the piano that I was supposed to be gaily playing while the kids pranced around the yard. 

We headed to another location where at one point, my son and a girl were dangling from a large wall. 

The director explained things to the kids and kept commenting on how wonderfully my children were being raised. I was so humbled and also proud of how well they did.  

They told Selah that had she been a few years younger, she could've performed too. The kids spent lots of time watching playbacks with the director. 

In the middle of the shoot, an old woman shuffled by to fill her bucket at the well. We were making a movie and she was trying to cook dinner. Look how tiny she is! She would've taken me out in an arm wrestling match, no contest. 

We had to buckle down the mountain a ways to get to the ancient well.  

Losing daylight, the director asked for everyone's iPhones. They shot the second half of the scene being lit by seven iPhone flashlights. 

The Chinese boy dropped his bucket in the well and no joke, 2.3 seconds later a mysterious 80-year old man come bouncing up onto the well. He hoisted himself down into the well and fished out the bucket with his feet. Then he pulled himself back up! WHAT?! Nobody knew where this guy came from. But all three of his teeth were beaming as we clapped his heroic rescue. 

We aren't sure when the movie is coming out. They still have to come over one more time to film a dinner scene. They have said that they will give us a copy when it's finished with production. It was a long 12 hour day on the mountain, but we learned a ton and had a blast doing it. 

And somewhere along the way my dream was full-filled of being a music star :).

Entrepreneurial Fails

Last night, the hubs and I went on an all too rare night out. We joined the other 6 million people in our city who went out to eat during this holiday week. Within 25 walking steps of each other, I snapped these few pictures. This top one was my favorite. It's a coffee bar/cat playground. No joke, you go in and buy something to drink. As you do so, cats are walking around and on the tables. It was filled with young college girls are sitting on the floors, hanging out with the cats while drinking green tea. 

Next up was a "Unique and Artless" children's play place. At least they aren't faking a creative billing. You walk in and play. There is no creative art happening. But at least those wide-eyed non-Chinese children decals look happy in their non-tactile play place. 

Rounding the corner, we ran into sushi cakes. That honestly sounds like slang for cow patties. But in case you are looking for an edgy kindergarten birthday party snack, Sponge Bob sushi cakes will definitely do the trick. 

East-West Wedding

Some friends of ours got married on Saturday. The wedding was a mixture of western and eastern ceremony. A few dozen tables were set outside as the bride processed around the audience. 

This was one of the most fun Chinese wedding because there was very little smoke or loud drinking and lots of good friends. 

Two of the girls were flower girls and Kesed was a ring bearer. By ring bearer, I  mean that he held a basket of flowers with the rings thrown in among the petals. 

The other ring bearer was MIA until it was time to stroll down the isle. I actually don't think he knew that he was performing this prestigious task. Kesed spent his time walking down the isle and whispering directions to his friend. Kesed carried the rings while I had hot flashes and nightmares of the rings flying out of his basket into the abyss of the dark night. 

The girls held the veil and tried not to trip down the stone stairs. They did a fantastic job. 

Behind the bride, there was nose picking and dress adjusting, but no major missteps. 

They were a beautiful couple who loves the Lord. We are grateful for them and for so many people who came to celebrate them. 

Halfway through, Malachi pulled up a stool and sat next to the bridesmaids. 

At this point, the doves were released. I think the doves might have been slipped something because they flew drunk. They flew into each other and dive bombed tables. It was fantastic. 

Here's Selah with one of the poor dizzy birds. We are grateful we got to be a part of their day and thankful for what the Lord has done in them both!

10 Lovely Habits I've Picked up by Living Here

1. I interrupt people on their phones. I can clearly see that they are talking on their phones, yet I will dive right in to ask them a question. I blame this on every person in the retail sector here. Talking on the phone is merely a hand gesture,  not actually an action to take into consideration when you need something from that person.


2. I push old people around. And oh no, not emotionally, but physically. I used to take a passive stance when getting on a bus or standing in line at a market. While being kind and polite, sure enough, an old lady would come up and push me out of line. She wouldn't even look back to see if I was offended. So I started throwin' elbows. Simple as that. (I am firmly aware of all the things wrong with this.)

 

3. I reply in 3's. When asked a question, my response is always in 3's. For example, "Are you going to the train station tomorrow?" My reply would be, "Ya, ya, ya." In both languages, my response feels incomplete in 2's.

4. I forget to shave. Culturally it's totally the norm for women to not shave. Chinese aren't particularly hairy people, so this shaving trend hasn't really taken off here. I hated shaving in America and the only reason I did it is because of the cultural pressure put on me to not look like a dude. Cultural pressure gone=freedom to not shave much.

5. I pick up my soup bowl. When I am done eating noodles or even at home finishing a bowl of Tomato Basil, I pick up the bowl and drink it. I realize there's some cross over in cultures on this one. But for the most part, Americans don't pick up their bowls and drink. Especially not as adults.

 6. I like to soak my feet in hot water before bed. It really does help you fall asleep at night. I will also say that my feet are pretty dirty by the end of the day, so it's nice to get into bed with clean feet. It makes me feel better when I don't wash the sheets for weeks on end. At least I didn't drag ground funk into bed with me.

7.  When walking by myself, I slap my upper arms. This is not an every time occurrence, but more often than I'd like to admit to my American counterparts. Slapping your arms, walking backwards, and throwing your back up against a wall is an apparent requirement when seeking retirement. My inner monologue used to ruthlessly mock this habit. Until one day, up came my arm and I decided to give it a go. It really does get the blood moving. I'm a fan.

8. I no longer use contractions in English. When we taught English here, we stripped our English of contractions because they tripped up all of our Chinese friends. Now I awkwardly say things like, "I cannot go to the store today. Let us go out to eat instead." This sounds like an English butler or someone getting their American citizenship for the first time.

9. I take pictures of people without asking or even pretending to be discrete. This is a daily occurrence for our family, so I have found it quite normal to aim my camera straight at someone without a second thought. This is going to get me arrested or on some type of neighborhood watch list when we visit the States. I am convinced that our kids' picture is on the wallpaper of hundreds of iPhones across China.

10. I yell at the waitress to bring our bill. This has taken a long time to get used to. I used to passively raise my hand or follow the poor girl around the restaurant. One day I realized that really and truly it's culturally appropriate to yell, "Hey waitress, bring the bill!"

So there you have it. For you and every one to know that I've got real issues here people. Please tell me that people living outside of the US have morphed in similar ways. It really would make me feel better about my current state of living.

Coffee to Your Door!

This a post for those of us living in China and find ourselves compromising our coffee standards by drinking boatloads of this:

 

Blue Eyes Coffee is offering fresh coffee from around the world, roasted and shipped from Yunnan Province. They are not a mass-bean-producing plant, but rather a family-owned company that will ship bags of coffee TO YOUR DOOR. That's right, I just told you something that actually makes life easier for you by living in China. Even if you don't like coffee, you should have it shipped to yourself just to remind you that there are things in life that are simple.

AND...

the owner is American, so you get to SPEAK ENGLISH ON THE PHONE! It doesn't seem to matter how long I've been here, I still feel like lisping sloth when I speak and listen to Chinese on the phone.

 

There are several different types and they can even put you on a yearly plan so that you don't even have to order the beans every month. We do tons of hosting, so knowing that beans are on their way is a huge advantage. The bags are a great price and we have had nothing but great customer service from these guys.

Here's the Taobao link. You can order directly from the Taobao store.


Or, you can go into the contact area for the email address or phone number and they will send you a full spread on all of their coffee options. Once you place an order, they will send you an invoice through taobao.


We just stumbled upon this company a few months ago and have been really pleased with the coffee. If you order, tell him we sent you so that he can continue to get the word out!

Why I love Chinese water parks

 

On Friday, the family packed up and we headed to a new water park in town. Water parks are a relatively new deal in China. As a matter of fact, most of our Chinese friends don't know how to swim. With their growing popularity, I thought I put together several things that I love about Chinese water parks. 

1. They have amazing play areas for the smaller kids. This area had a huge pirate ships, twisty slides, water guns, and tons of things to climb on. I love this because they are too short to ride the bigger slides, but they don't feel like they are missing out because there are some legit slides in the kid area. This one above was three levels, with big slides running down both sides.

  

2. Most of the women have real bathing suits on. They are modest, cute, and comfortable. I love Chinese swim suits. They look like you would actually be able to swim and go down a water slide without flashing your goods to the lifeguards.

 3. The kids on the other hand are wearing a different type of bathing suit. For being a modest culture, it cracks me up how naked kids get. Just last weekend, we saw a group of 8-9 year old boys changing their suits out by the pool. Nobody cares, nobody panics.

 

 5. There are very few lines for these big slides. People will climb the 85 sets of stairs to get to the top, but just watch others go down because it looks so frightening to them. This afforded our kids to get to go down each slide dozens of times. 

 6. In the background, you can see a large covered area. This is the smaller kids' area. It's totally covered. Chinese are deathly afraid of tanning. With this area covered, it kept us fresh and relatively not sunburned by the end of the day.

7. The snack bars include things like: rice and cabbage bowls, beef noodles, and sticks of grilled lamb. 

 

8. If you've known me for 2.3 seconds, you will know about this. I fear the water.  Take that back, I fear my children and their relationship with the water. This place had life vests for the public to use! I almost kissed their feet.

9. Rules are simply suggestions. Charis was too short for the big rides, but when we first got there, the lifeguards didn't care and let her go anyway. They let me bring in tons of snacks. 

10. It was small enough that we could all hang out together, but the older ones could go off from time to time without me feeling like I was letting them loose. 

We had such a great time together. With the kids getting older, these types of outings are getting more and more fun. We all commented that this was one of our best family outings so far. Blessed.