In my brief years of raising children, I have discovered
that parents fall into one of two categories. Either parents become resentful
or satisfied as their children grow up. The resentful parent will go through
their children’s younger years pushing them from behind; hurried for them to
become independent. They become tired and resentful because it requires so much
from them. Or they jump in with both feet and become satisfied and thankful for
their children. Consequently they experience the joys alongside of their kids.
I realize that these are clear-cut categories that are actually murkier in real
life. In general though I think that parents can be fit into one of these two categories
of thinking.
The idea of becoming parents is tempting and satisfying
because it’s the next logical step in life. I think that most people get to a
point where they are prepared for parenthood, but not prepared for the
sacrifice. Those who accept the sacrifice as a reality and even as a gift end
up becoming parents who see kids as a joy instead of a burden.
As Christians we cry out our life’s goal as becoming more
and more like Jesus. While this is an important goal, we need to remember
Jesus’ life as a whole. We prefer to live like Jesus when he was showing mercy
to the hemorrhaging woman or restoring the demoniac. We lay him out at the last
supper, feeding and washing the feet of the disciples. Our minds seem to skip
past the betrayal, suffering, mockery, and pain Jesus experienced here on earth.
We picture the wonderful times he and the disciples spent feeding thousands and
fishing late into the night. Or the times he had to rebuke the disciples for going
about healing in a wrong way. He even went so far as to call Peter a name-Satan.
But Jesus continued to walk with them. He looked to the
disciples as his children. Children who would get messy and say inappropriate
things in the market. He was going to be needed to bind up wounds and explain
why people gossip. He didn’t look down at them as children unworthy of his time
or resources. He understood that his time with them would be short. He also
knew that they would turn from him, thankless for the lives that he had given
them. Yet he continued to walk with them, not resent them.
Did he have other things to do? Sure. People from every crevice near and far
wanted his attention. But over and over again, we see him piecing off and
living with his disciples. He didn’t see his nurture and care for them as a
waste of time. He saw it as part of his purpose on this earth. To help them
understand what the Kingdom of God was like by knitting consistency and trust
into the hearts of the disciples.
When we treat our kids like they are a burden or getting in
the way of things we’d rather be doing, we are knitting holes into their
understanding of the Lord. These holes add up to a shoddy, weak understanding
of a faithful God. We won’t be perfect, but if we are consistent, repentant,
humble, and honest then at least all the strings will be attached. The knitting
might look lopsided or the wrong color, but at least there are not holes and
gaps that are difficult to fill after that little one is old enough to fill it
with other things. Let’s commit together as parents to put our whole selves
into the task of parenting. To teach our children that committing to them is
not only our gift to them, but a gift to us as well.
