Rescued Remnant

Telling Fear to Move Over

2012-01-31T14:03:00.000+08:00

This is a post specifically to women. I am tired of fear. I see it in myself and I see it in the hollow-eyes of strangers. Fear is something that strangles women and leaves us grasping for breath in the everyday.

Fear that we will fail.

Fear that someone won't like us. Or that people are all pretending they like us and then use our names in front of the phrase, "Bless her heart."

Fear that we won't measure up.

Fear that our kids will grow up to resent us. Or maybe worse...resemble us.

Fear that one day people will see through our facade of self-sufficiency.

There are hundreds that could be listed here. These fears lurk like a stray cat in our minds as we restlessly try to sleep at night. They crawl into our conversations about how our kids are doing in school. They leap into our laps as we dream of pursuing a new hobby. They claw at us as we look at other moms who have it all together on their crafty little blogs.

All of these create a chaos in our minds that keep us inactive. We are trying so hard to pacify each of these fears that dreams and callings cannot be heard over all of it. I have talked to dozens of women who feel called to do something and yet find every reason under the sun to talk themselves out of it.

I want to exhort to you that if God is calling you to something today, do it.
Don't look at your watch and wonder if you have time. God will take care of those minutes.

Don't think of what your parents will say. God will be a gracious Father to you in times of uncertainty.

Don't assume that just because you studied something in college that it means you are actually called to use that degree directly.

Don't think that just because you are single that God wouldn't call you to live overseas.

Don't reason that God owes it to us to do things that make rational sense.

Decisions made in fear will be wrapped in either guilt or self-sufficiency. Jesus frees us from this bondage. Remember good 'ol 2 Tim. 1:7? God gives us a spirit of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-CONTROL. I find it interesting that none of those things can be done while living under fear. At least they won't be done well.

If the Lord is calling us to do something radical today, then we need to trust that He will meet us at the other side of it all. He is that big. He is that able. So go and do it.

Birthdays and a New Year

2012-01-27T20:05:00.000+08:00

In my mind I'm organized, contemplative and I sing like Sara Groves. In reality, I do none of these well. That is why this post will contain 3 celebrations, a few of them rather tardy in nature.

We celebrated Selah's birthday in Thailand with my parents and my sister's family. She has become an amazing girl that leaves her Dad and I proud to call her our daughter. She is thoughtful, giving, responsible and compassionate. I love seeing the fruit of the Spirit growing and bringing life to those around her. She turned 10 this year and from this point forward we will work backwards. Next year is 9. This makes me feel much better about the whole thing.

This little dude just turned 8. Dad is out of town, so we laid low and ate pizza while watching old school "Parent Trap." He is passionate, analytical, caring, creative and convicted. Watching this little guy think through things in Scripture and come to conclusions that glorify the Lord is both humbling and encouraging.

It's Chinese New Year around these parts. It's fun to see every one decorating their houses and eating dumplings all day long. We won't be here for the festivities and what that means is no 2 a.m. firework wake up calls. Bummer for us. But this is the year of the dragon. It is my year (each birth year is represented by an animal and it rotates every 12 years), so I'm thinking good things will happen. Or maybe just that I will be able to buy a little stuffed dragon at the store all year round. Either way Happy New Year!

新年快乐！

Traveling in a Caffeine Stupor

2012-01-21T06:31:00.000+08:00

We are heading out this morning. And in order to define the word "we," I mean my 5 ewoks and me. At 5:30 a.m. we will pile our arms with luggage, bags, and 55 ounces of coffee. The Lord desires to sanctify me as we travel through 4 airports and two countries without my husband. So if you don't hear from me for a little bit, it's because I am balled in the fetal position, wearing coolots, and sucking my thumb in a hotel somewhere.

What's in the Storm?

2012-01-17T06:15:00.002+08:00

In Matthew 8, we see a roll call of miracles that Jesus performs. One after another, Jesus reaches into the physical life and turns the tables. He removes the leprous reputation of a man, strengthens the legs of a servant, cools the fever of a mother. The list goes on and on and if you read it in succession, it plays out almost as a task list for the day. A simple day in the life of Jesus.

And then I get to Jesus calming the storm. Cue thunderous rainstorm, rickety fishing boat and 12 panicky disciples. Out of their desperation, they spoke out what was churning in their hearts: fear.

As Jesus slept peacefully in the bow, the storm was enveloping both the waters and the hearts of His followers. We see them screaming at Jesus, "Save us, we are perishing!"

He wakes up and peers into their souls, "Why are you afraid? O you of little faith?" I imagine him speaking softly, with His words resounding loudly among the waves, "Be still."

I got to thinking about Jesus' rebuke to the disciples. And then I was brought back to so many other instances of Jesus commending people when they say, "Save me! Lord, show me mercy!" Why was this situation different? Why did Jesus not commend their desire for the Lord's rescuing? It was at this point that my heart was both convicted and sorrowful as I realized that the disciples asked out of fear and not repentance. There was no faith present for the Lord to commend. Only 12 men wrapped up in fear for their lives.

Where is my desperation rooted, fear or repentance? When I call out to the Lord, what am I truly wanting from the Lord? Is it just a removal of my present circumstance or a changing of my heart?

Final Manuscript Victory Dinner

2012-01-14T16:13:00.001+08:00

When I submitted my final manuscript last week, the kids and I decided to celebrate. This is what I made for dinner. For those of you who are both from the southern part of the US and have also resided overseas, you will join with me in saying that there was a halo surrounding that Dr. Pepper. I savored every sip. I told the kids to respect my drinking with a few minutes of silence. It was a holy moment.

Guest Blogging: "Feeding Kids Bigger Portions"

2012-01-10T08:54:00.000+08:00

I guest-blogged "Feeding Kids Bigger Portions," over at my friend Joy in the Blink. We are talking about removing Beyonce from your kids repertoire of truth and replacing it with Truths that never fade. She and I have been having a few years worth of conversations about what Christian parenting looks like in the trenches.

Have a little look see.

A Few of our Favorite Apps

2012-01-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

The app world is just flat out overwhelming. This list I wrote could easily be ten times as long, but I wanted to share some of the apps we have enjoyed of late. We only do educational games in our house. I told my kids that they were born into the wrong family if they wanted to play shoot 'em up games. Sorry kids.

These first three are websites that give a more extensive list of apps for kids.

smartappsforkids

funeducationalapp

ipadsforeducation

Here are some of our favorites:

Solar Walk

This app is a scale model of the Solar System where you get to manipulate space-time, learn details about 39 celestial objects, and watch 7 different videos. This was great to have while we studied Astronomy last year. The kids can line all the planets and compare rotation, size, surface, color, and texture.

Story Chimes

Several choices of fairy tales that you can read or have read to you. The narration is fun and upbeat. Some of them have memory games or short activities for the kids to do at the end. These are great for the little ones to listen to while I'm working on a more one-on-one intense subject with and older one.

Math Bingo/Sight Word Bingo

I hate flash cards. They make me want to poke my eye with a Q-tip. So, the kids do these bingo games to work on math facts. All 4 operations can be used. The sight word one works the same way, but with words. At the end, they calculate your time and you get bingo bugs according to how fast you completed the bingo board. Once you've earned enough bingo bugs, you can play a game where you slingshot them around the screen to earn coins. My kids enjoy this one a lot.

Toontastic

Toonstastic gives your kids a chance to both narrate and animate a story. The app will walk kids through the process of storytelling (setup, conflict, challenge, climax and resolution), pick their own theme music for each scene, and watch their story come to life. Sometimes I'll take one of the stories the kids has written and ask them to go animate it. Or, instead of writing the journal entry down, go animate it instead. Keeps things fresh.

Ultimate Dinopedia

This one is great is your kids are into dinosaurs. There are fact cards, pictures, and 3D videos that bring these creatures to life. It's put out by National Geographic and the visuals are exceptional. There are tons of dinosaurs to pick from and I feel like it gives a good overview of how they lived.

Word Magic

This is a phonics and spelling app for early readers. On one level, they will have a picture and a word, but one letter is missing. The child is supposed to touch the letter that is missing in each word. As a parent, you can set the word length, level, capital or small letters, and several phonetic options.

Monkey Preschool Lunchbox

This is geared more towards preschoolers. There are matching games, memory games, shapes, colors, groupings, and lots of other beginning level skills. This is also a great starter to get the younger ones comfortable with a computer. I know it seems crazy, but just think about 18 years from now. Computers are going to dominate every sphere of life. We've got to surrender to that and get our kids prepared.

McPea Preschool

This is fairly similar to Monkey Preschool. There are numbers included in this one though.

iWrite Words

Your kids will write their letters (both capital and lowercase), numbers, and short words with their fingers. They are learning the stroke order and basic hand eye coordination. There is also a small music portion where the kids can tap on a piano and it plays the alphabet song.

ABC Phonics is similar to iWrite Words

Cute Math

This has several levels of basic math operations. I would say preschool to kindergarten age. There are a few counting levels where they count balloons or penguins. There are also a few where you work on addition and subtraction of birds.

As our kids get older, there are some fantastic ones for anatomy that I can't wait to dive into. If you homeschool and can afford an ipad, I would highly recommend one. We have used it even more than I anticipated. The apps available for schooling are incredible.

Hope these help you navigate the ocean of apps available now.

Parents, Grow Some Kahunas!

2012-01-06T09:06:00.001+08:00

I just got home from running in the rain and listening to rap music. I am feeling both empowered and opinionated. As I ran, the music started talking about all the trappings that temptation throws at us. I began to think about parenting and protecting our children from the nets that ensnare their hearts.

As a Christian parent, our aim is NOT to make our kids the most popular, the best athlete, or the most talented piano player in the state. Should they do these things for the glory of God? Yes. Should these things require you to sacrifice your family and your God? No. Never.

When I worked with youth, I would get parents calling me in tears because their kids had found some guy on the internet and they were exchanging inappropriate emails. Or a parent who couldn't get their kids to make eye contact at the dinner table because their eyes were locked to their cell phone. I would look at these parents in the eye and say, "Then take the computer out of their room. They can write reports for school in the kitchen on the computer. Take the tv out of their room. If you want a relationship with your kids, you've got to take away other distractions. Kids don't need a tv in their room. Take their cell phone away after 5 p.m. If their friends want to talk about physics on the phone, then they can do it in the living room with their physics book in front of them and you in the kitchen doing dishes so you can hear the conversation."

And you know what? I would get parents arguing with me that their children need privacy, their own lives, to be able to make grown up decisions. There will be plenty of time for them to do that after they leave your house and start paying their own bills.

Here's another thing: chances are, your kid isn't going to be the next Nolan Ryan. Sports have become the American God. Parents get frustrated when, at 15, their kids want nothing to do with God or the church. Well here's the deal, the parents have taught the kid that church is second priority to baseball games, soccer tournaments and cheerleading competitions. You teach your kids how to prioritize by looking at where we as parents decide to spend our time as a family. You've only got 18 years to set these types of life habits for your kids.

Parents, we need to GROW SOME KAHUNAS and take the wheel from our children in their upbringing. They will be steering the ship after they leave the house. For now, they don't need their doors closed, they don't need video games in their room, they don't need to go to "the party of the year." They need to be loved, guided, taught, steered and disciplined.

Some of our parenting heros once wisely told us,"Parent now, be friends later." Don't fall for what the world tells you is a priority for you kids. Look to the Bible and figure out what God deems most valuable. Some of those things being, loving justice, showing mercy, serving orphans, and praying continually. Those things are radically different than what the world is shouting at us as parents. But I will submit to you that these are the things that will last both here on earth and in the scope of eternity.

What to do if You Wake up Feeling Fragile

2012-01-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

You know that one time that you woke up and pretended to not hear your child asking for breakfast in the other room?

Or maybe that one time that you woke up and your stomach felt like it had been hit by a two by four because you are anxious about your day?

Then there's the rest of us who wake up feeling this way on a consistent basis. Here is a great article reminding us of God's promises. While He doesn't promise to do our laundry for us, He promises us more than we could ever imagine.

What to do if You Wake up Feeling Fragile

Working...Keep Away

2012-01-03T08:59:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of making this sign into a t-shirt for my friends with nursing babies. The logo would be on the back of the shirt while they feed their little one.

What do you think?

Oh Joy, Where Art Thou?

2011-12-30T20:10:00.000+08:00

Ok, so hubs is gone again. This time it's just three weeks. I can be a bit of an Eeyore sometimes, so this time around I am vowing to be joyful. So many times I excuse my grumbling because "Doggonit, I'm at home with 5 kids all by myself. AND, it's cold. And, I feel like I have an increased amount of back fat after the gobs of gummie cherries I have eaten this Christmas season." That's right, I said "Doggonit"...those are fightin' words.

I will meet up with my world trotting husband in another country. That means that I will fly with all 5 kids, by myself and my three different airport trek to meet up with him. God is so very creative in His sanctification of me. Apparently, He thought I had grown a little too comfortable in my abilities as a mother, so He decided to use the A-bomb of mothering: travel.

The glitz of international travel had been stripped off, melted down and now sits as a cesspool.

So, about that joy thing...

Living Water for Christmas

2011-12-29T19:09:00.001+08:00

The last two Christmases we decided that we would give a few small things (pencils, gum, markers) to put in their stockings. We are trying to keep cost at a minimum, so that we can give more away. I think we spent $40 for 7 people this year. I only tell you this because our kids had a fantastic Christmas. They don't feel neglected, cheated or depressed. They are beginning to understand that it really is more blessed to give than to receive. And that Christmas is about Jesus and not them.

We start on Dec. 1 by deciding on the charities to give to. Once my older two have decided, they start the research. Each one does thorough research and puts together an outline. On Christmas morning, they give a full presentation and surprise the rest of the family with which organization they gave to. But, I also didn't want this year to go by without spotlighting these people who are being used to change lives.

Malachi decided to give to Living Water International.

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

• 1.8 million children die every year as a result of diseases caused by unclean water and poor sanitation. This amounts to around 5000 deaths a day. (UNDP)

• LWI projects providing safe water and hygiene education at an average cost of twenty dollars per person, for a generation. (LWI)

The caption is a little fuzzy, but it reads: "A child dies every 15 seconds because of the lack of clean water. It costs us an average of $0.98 to provide clean, safe water to one person for one year. Every dollar makes a difference!"

15 seconds is shorter than the time it takes me to microwave my coffee after it's sat on the table for 2 hours while I chase my naked son through the house while he's dripping soapy water. In that short time, a child has died. While mine are running around the house playing sword fights and drawing with stencils, dozens of children have died. Just like that.

Clean water is an easy way to save lives and generations. Water. It's that simple. People need to be able to satisfy their dehydrated, crying little girl with clean water. This hits me at the core of being a mom. To not even be able to provide an essential to survival like water. I cannot imagine the grief those mothers feel each time they dip a cup into a nearby stream, just praying it isn't filled with disease and worms. But most likely, it is. That's why what Living Water is doing is so crucial.

They have already successfully completed over 10,000 water projects. Most of these projects include digging wells in these poor communities, so that the provision of water doesn't stop when the team leaves. They have forever changed that community by cleaning up their water. And that way, the community can focus on other things like farming and trade.

I cried as I watched my kids talk about giving and loving others. They were excited to know that they could make a difference, even at 10 and 7 years old.

The Exciting News Is...

2011-12-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I posted awhile ago that I have exciting news. I realize that, despite Thanksgiving and Christmas, you have probably been thinking of nothing else since I posted that over a month and a half ago. I wanted to wait a bit for my head to return to my body after December happened. Christmas over here is so great because you get to share about the story a ton, but it's exhausting. In December, we also crammed in visitors, a trip to Beijing to get a passport and shipped Brad off to the States.

I have decided that Dec. 26th is the official day that brain cells begin to work again. So, here we are at Dec. 27th. I figured those three brain cells I have left in my head needed an extra day to get themselves out of the fog.

So...my exciting news is that I am writing a book! No joke. That should both scare and excite you, like it does me. About a year ago, Lucid Books had a publishing contest. I entered. Didn't win. Some nice lady with a PhD in literature won. Weird that they didn't pick some punk that lives in China and likes to rant about giving her 5 year old an enema in Starbucks. Maybe they wanted to make sure I wasn't a danger to myself or to others, but they contacted me the day after the contest was over. They said they wanted to work with me to publish my book!

I'll fill in the details as I go along, but I'm just about done with the writing stage. I've done a decent amount of the editing, but still have a few things to look over before submitting the final manuscript. I'm also a maximizer, so the thought of pushing send on that final manuscript makes want to crawl into a dark closet and listen to Barry Manilow. But, I'll get there. I'm hoping to wrap things up this month. I'll keep you guys posted.

Christmas Poem 2011-Merry Kingdom

2011-12-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

I had a cute little family picture of us eating cinnamon rolls Christmas morning, but I felt like this picture better captures our chaos. One of our Christmas traditions around here is that hubs writes a poem and shares it as a part of our family worship time on Christmas morning. He so beautifully depicts the backdrop to what is going on the moment Christ comes to this earth.

Merry Kingdom

Long have people accustomed to cold
Celebrated traditions long and old
So used to ways of making life merry
Little knowing the things that now tarry

Families together, to eat and then die
Tell of good news of sweet little lies
Melodious songs the nations glad sing
But not of the day that comes with the King

Instead most rejoice in the night of the eve
They call silence "peace", too ignorant to grieve
The curse that lingers with labor
Unconcerned that morning brings favor

They smile at birth and laugh at his death
Defending half-truth till left without breath
Still born in a world with hope not yet found
Oh hear the cries for Christ around

Though they love a babe and not the man
Anticipating what they don't understand
Speaking truth makes grown men wary
Yet we shall call His Kingdom merry.

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-23T20:35:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!

May Jesus overwhelm you with joy, mercy and contentment this Christmas.

A little friendly visit

2011-12-19T16:10:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna do a brief run down on our time with friends. I can't tell you what an encouragement these guys are. I think you should all be friends with them.

We figured 3 hours of sleep was quite enough to work with and have a Christmas party on the first day they were here.

We played "wrap people in toilet paper to look like snow men" game.

Our family opened a large suitcase filled with goodies from our fellowship in the States. We screamed in excitement and vowed not to share our peanut m&m's with the children.

We walked through a local campus and taught their boys that peeing on the streets is totally acceptable behavior here. Pretty sure it changed their lives.

Moved babies and their beds into a new care center. Amazing.

Taught English in an engineering company.

Got a massage. I spared my friend and put the picture of my cellulite self here. You're welcome.

Had dinner with special friends.

Rode all types of transportation.

Explored Buddhist temples and taught about idol worship.

This family is like a walking GAP ad. So cute all the time. Seriously.

Had tea that had a sweet potato aftertaste.

Braved street food. They were such troopers as we weaved through trash, police, vendors, and mysterious meat on a stick.

Enjoying a little Bux. Ya know, we didn't want our friends to feel too disconnected from the States. We are servants that way.

We bought our boys swords and they were set for the morning. These guys have been an incredible blessing to us. We have enjoyed every second of their trip here. Looking forward to their next venture over here :)

Loving Through Christmas Cookies and Footsteps

2011-12-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

This is a quick follow-up post to this one. So, we have been praying about getting into the baby orphanage for some time now. I knew that the Lord was leading me to patience and prayer. These, not being my strong suit, led me to depend on the Lord's timing instead of me kicking open doors myself.

We have an amazing family that is visiting us this week from the States and our plan was to make some cookies and bring them to the older kid's orphanage to decorate and eat with them. Afterwards, we would take a few plates of cookies to the baby orphanage, the next building over. A few things happened that morning and we had to cancel the trip over to do the cookie thing. I was pretty bummed because I wanted my friends to get to meet many of the kids we knew and loved there. We decided to just take the plates of cookies over the next morning to the baby orphanage.

When we walked up, the nannies were walking out of the old building with bundles, baskets, sheets, buckets and various other things so that they could all move into the new building behind the old one. This was the first day of moving. We walked in and dropped off the cookies. I asked her if we could help bring bags and sheets and things over for them. She asked if instead, we could pick up and carry babies. Trying not to wet my pants in excitement, I told her that we would love to.

For the next 2 hours, we got to pick up, hold, pray for and love on these babies while we brought them to their new homes. Had we gone the day before, the kids would not have been moving buildings and we would not have been allowed in.

We watched a baby no older than one week old be brought in by two police officers.

We carried a baby with fresh marks that looked like it had been thrown in the bushes.

I wept at the goodness of the Lord as He preserved their lives and allowed us to pray over these sweet souls.

Man, God is just really good.

Homeschooling Expectations

2011-12-13T04:41:00.000+08:00

I just got out of the shower. With those few minutes, I got to thinkin'. That can be scary. In this case, I hope that it's helpful.

Recently, I've talked with several moms that are really frustrated in homeschooling. This post could be made into a series, but I'm going to try and whittle this down a bit. Homeschooling comes down to expectations. Here are few that I hope gives you some freedom in your messy homeschooling life.

1. Let go of having a neat, organized, cute house. You should have maps on the walls, science experiments in the sink and dirty laundry in the corner. Homeschooling makes for a fluid lifestyle, but also messier than a traditional schooling path.

2. Let go of some of your parenting expectations for your younger ones. Maybe you don't want your children watching lots of tv. But, when you are homeschooling 2 and have 2 still in diapers, 30 minutes of movie watching for the younger ones just might add years to your life. Put on things like Scholasitc book read alouds, StoryNory, Baby Einstein, Cedarmont Kids, Story Line Online, or get an external mouse and let them do Starfall. If you don't own any of these things, there's this old fashioned thing called a library that has modern things like DVDs and audio books. There are tons of options now.

3. Let go of your social calendar. If you think you can engage in homeschooling and still maintain an active social calendar, you are setting yourself up for frustration and resentment. Maybe pick one or two nights a month where you can get together with girlfriends. That way, you can be excited to anticipate that night and you can settle into a homeschooling schedule with no resentment.

4. Let go of comparing to other people. Maybe you will be super creative homeschooling mom. Maybe not. Figure out your giftings and cater your school schedule to that. Maybe you are really organized or love to teach through song. Don't compare with other moms or blogs. You will feel like a failure. Every time.

5. Be choosy about your curriculum. If your friend is using ABC curriculum and loves it and tells you that her kids already know all the Latin roots and are balancing chemical equations at age 6, then more power to 'em. Find a curriculum that you can teach from. Period. You can adapt them to your individual kids later. Otherwise you will be frustrated and clueless because the teacher's manual makes no sense. Cathy Duffy's book "100 Top Picks for Homeschool" is a great place to start looking. She helps you weed through personality styles of both teacher and student and lines you up with curriculums that might work for your situation.

6. If your kids are young, let go of teaching 7 subjects at one time. Do math, reading and phonics. That's it. If you are really into music theory or art history and just can't bare the thought of not teaching your 5 year old these things, then go for it. For the rest of us, keep it simple. Your child will not end up homeless and on parole if they don't study ancient Egypt in first grade. Make history, science, art, music, those things you do life on life. While making juice for lunch, explain how to make ice. Science...done. When Dad goes on a business trip, pull out a map and show them where he's going. Geography...done. These are some of the benefits of homeschooling and relating all day with your kids.

7. Silence your email, twitter, and cell phone during homeschool. If your husband calls, answer it. For everyone else...they can wait.

8. The first few years are the hardest. Balancing mom/teacher with your child is hard. Pray, seek counsel, ask for forgiveness, and learn together. There are some days that it is sheer grit and determination that get us through our schooling time. Push through and be consistent.

Wow, there's a ton that I could write here, but this is a good start. Homeschool is such a hard, joyful, disastrous, glorious pursuit. But, getting to invest in your kids like this can be a blessing both to you and your child. At the very least, it is sanctifying :).

Our Santa Issues this Year

2011-12-10T21:24:00.002+08:00

I'm happy to say that this year, one task has been done for me. For the last several years, these weeks rolling into Christmas elicited a blog post or two or three from us regarding the issue of Santa. But, this year, this blog has so eloquently written on the subject, that I will let her speak to her journey with the fat man in red.

The one thing I will say is that our resolve to not recognize Santa gets stronger and stronger each year we live overseas. An English teacher friend of ours was reading the TRUE Christmas story to her class. They went through the whole thing from beginning to end. At the conclusion of the story, several of her students raised their hands and said "This is a great story, but what does it have to do with Christmas?"

America has exported Santa and it has COMPLETELY overtaken the holiday here. It's like me telling you that Thanksgiving is really about celebrating extraterrestrials. We would look at me with a furrowed brow and utter confusion.

That's all. I won't rant, I just plead with you to read that blog post.

Loving Through Carrot Bread and Prayer

2011-12-08T09:38:00.001+08:00

A few weeks ago, my daughter and I had the chance to go into a government run orphanage and love on some babies. This particular orphanage has children 6 and under and most of them have some type of disability. Mind you, the range of "disabilities"is wide. I can't go into an explanation of what we saw, but the scene was better than what I had contrived in my mind, but worse than what my heart had hoped.

Selah and I sang to blind 1 year olds, played with a 3 year old little Down's boy, zoomed around like airplanes with 4 year old boys, prayed over a 2 month old girl with a severe cleft palate. As I rounded the room and prayed over each baby I touched, I found myself uttering 2 things into the ears of the Lord. I prayed for a forever family to come soon and for Jesus to completely overwhelmed their souls.

As we left, the head nanny told our friend that we shouldn't worry about coming back. That while they are completely understaffed, their leaders would not allow strangers to come in on a frequent basis. I am refusing to take that as an answer.

This is where the hard part comes in. As an American, I want to assert myself and just sit at their door every morning until they get tired of me and let me in. Being here though, I am firmly aware that culturally, this wouldn't work. I am going to have to figure out how to love the nannies and therefore love the babies from a distance. I am called to be patient and allow the Lord to open the doors of that place. Charis and I read the account of Paul and Silas with the jailer yesterday and I was reminded that the Lord creatively solves the problems of His children. While it seems that I have been locked out, I know that the Lord has the ability to open things up for us.

Kite Flying Meltdown

2011-12-05T16:26:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty sure my husband could hear the clutch go out in my brain. He saw the imminent crash into the orange safety cones and told me to go outside for a run. (By the way, I believe that the government doesn't want to actually pay to store those orange cones, so they just move them around I-45 and place them in arbitrary stretches of the highway.) On said run, which was actually an anxiety filled power walk, I stopped. I stopped and cried as I watched the old man orchestrate a kite into the air and make them dance.

The difficulty of daily life here had brought me to the end of sanity as we know it. Between passport issues, internet fickleness, crazy travel schedules, various things breaking in our home, not being able to get medicine for my son without a 4-month running start, and fighting with the postman. Sometimes I feel like our life is like Fred Flintstone in his little running car. No matter how hard or fast our legs are moving, we just aren't going anywhere. We exhaust ourselves trying in hopes of eventually moving forward.

I found myself over by the river on my little mental-breakdown-excerise-excursion, when I stopped to watch the kites and couples sitting together, attempting to make out in a shy and modest fashion. As I stood there, I listened to Dave Crowder Band's Glory of it All. I was trying to listen to a sermon, when I realized that I wasn't paying attention to one word being spoken. My heart needed a Christian "Eye of the Tiger" to remind me that God is bigger than my stupid issues with my DVD player.

I know this sounds contrived, but I promise the kite started dancing in rhythm to the song being played in my ear phones. (They should still be called ear phones and not ear buds in my opinion. Ear buds sound like something with roots has cropped up inside my head. It's a gross phrase and I've vowed not to use it.) As I watched the kites flip and turn and circle overhead, the chords of the music followed in exact harmony. God was reminding me that He hasn't forgotten. I started to cry.

As the kite hit the ground, the older man simply pulled the strings to coax it back up into the air. He didn't run furiously like bees had flown up his pants. He stood there calmly and reminded the kite that it was designed to fly. I needed God to remind me that He does that for me. He picks me up, dusts me off and with a simple truth, reminds me to fly.

Thailand part 2

2011-12-03T14:18:00.000+08:00

Thailand in pictures:

When we arrived at the zoo, we watched the zookeepers try to shoot the lioness with a tranquilizer gun. The zoo is fabulous, in that very few animals are in cages. The safety factor is questionable because there are just ditches that separate us humans from...say, the King of the Jungle. This particular lioness had tried to jump the gulch and got stuck at the bottom.

We pretty much dominated the zoo tram. 8 kids, 6 adults.

There was a smaller pool at the house we stayed at and a larger one down the road. We went swimming multiple times a day and had a blast.

Mimi and Malachi playing word games on the computer.

My mom and I oooh'd and aaaah'd at the orchids that were sprinkled all over the place. These were looped around the Buddhist shrine placed in the backyard.

Minus the Asian eyes and obvious Buddhist influence, this line of children felt like a great representation of the cousins.

At the town center, waiting for our ride.

A 3 story Starbucks. Um....yes, thank you.

Sitting in a median with traffic, tourists, honking horns, passing monks, and big tour buses Malachi uses his super focus powers and finds a place to read.

Acting as Papa Eagle, Brad stands in the busy intersection and tries to keep the number of kids at 8.

Mimi and Selah.

We also did the Chiang Mai Night Safari. Where you also throw out any contrived safety standards.

You can pet the zebra, giraffes, gazelles and boars.

For Thanksgiving, we had some amazing Thai food, followed by pumpkin and apple pie.

It was a great trip. Now, it is back to real life.

A little Thailand update

2011-11-15T20:58:00.000+08:00

Here's a quick update on our Thailand trip.

One of the first nights, we learned to cook a little pad thai. Here's Kim looking like a Thai cooking school brochure picture.

We headed to Maesa Elephant Park. The kids had a blast.

We have a pool at the house we're staying at and the kids are in it at least 5 hours a day.

Cousins.

Uncle Casey and Selah

Makaria and I riding our elephant. The driver of our elephant took my camera and did his own little photo shoot while we tried to fend for ourselves on the back of a pachyderm.

Malachi hangin' with the elephant.

Selah's turn.

After the elephants did their paintings. It's pretty amazing to watch these elephants paint flowers, mountains, and landscape.

A Buddhist Monk snapping a picture with his Smartphone.

At Huay Kaew waterfall.

That's it for now!

I'm excited about...

2011-11-10T09:11:00.000+08:00

I'm totally not excited about iridescence. Although if you're choosing between chiffon and iridescence, then I'd be excited about it. Chiffon is ok for princess costumes and bitter bridesmaids dresses, but not much else.

I am though excited that our family will be going out of country for a few weeks. We've got some things to take care .

One of them being sleep.

I'm going to purposely try not to blog much while we're there because I want to pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. I want to hide and avoid responsibilities. Although we will be with my sister and her family and when that happens, a blog will inevitably need to be posted.

BUT, I do have exciting news that I'm not sharing yet. This news does not require a moving van or peeing on a stick.

I'll keep you posted.

Meeting our Neighbors

2011-11-07T15:36:00.000+08:00

We met our downstairs neighbors last week.

We met our downstairs neighbors last week because my two youngest decided to de-clutter their room by throwing things out their window during rest time.

I discovered this little organizational technique when our apartment managers came upstairs and said they could see a little white hand and then a little black hand peeking out the bottom of their windowsill. Down 3 stories, they had tossed a huge comforter, a large crocheted blanket, two full baskets of laundry, 15 books, a dozen pieces of Chinese homework and rocks out the window. I meant to get a picture, but I was so angry at the time that I let it go. But here's the re-enactment of the pile we brought up afterwards.

We were picking underwear and socks out of their trees.

I'm sure they are chomping at the bits, waiting to invite us over for dinner. I won't hold my breath.

Reformation Day 2011-John Calvin

2011-11-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

We had our annual Reformation Day celebration. Last year was Luther, this year we celebrated John Calvin. Since he was born in France, but did a majority of ministry time in Switzerland, we had a hodge podge of foods for dinner.

Swiss Zopf bread

French Tourtiere (this was super good)

French green beans

Swiss glazed carrots

Swiss Aargau carrot cake

The kids composed a newscast theme song on Garage Band. As the song played, John Calvin and I walked in for his interview. Malachi covered the first half of his life. He ended as Calvin decided to switch to studying law.

We took a short break while we switched costumes and out came Selah. She continued the interview and then went on to explain TULIP. She concluded by telling of how Calvin was riddled by sickness for most of his life.

As we ended the interview, she left the stage and I told about his dying in the arms of his friend, Theodore Beza.

Then it was on to play "Pin the petal on the TULIP." Everyone was blindfolded and spun around.

Yes, that is a shirt thrown over some of the older kids. We are very serious about cheating during our game.

After we finished up, we had carrot cake and hung out for a bit. We had a blast celebrating with everyone.

And now for next year...

Homemade Butterfingers

2011-11-04T11:29:00.000+08:00

I almost cried when a friend gave me candy corns because it was the holy grail left in my recipe for homemade butterfingers. The recipe came from here. Her pictures are way less ghetto than mine, so feel free to head over there to take a look.

You'll need a 16 oz. bag of candy corn

1 c. peanut butter

chocolate bars (the recipe calls 16 oz. candy coating, but I don't have candy coating, so I just melted Dove bars)

Stick the candy corn in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Take them out and stir. Then, put them back in for 15 seconds at a time and stir. This took about 2 minutes total for me. Who knew you could melt candy corn?!

Then add 1 c. peanut butter to the candy corn and stir it up.

Pour it out on a pan and form into into a rectangle. Or a rhombus. Or a pentagon. That way, you can justify this being a homeschool lesson. The recipe calls for using parchment paper, but I didn't have that either. So, wax paper it was. I put mine in the fridge for about an hour. The mistake I made was not cutting them about 30 minutes in. I then needed a hacksaw to cut them up.

Here's the candy corn and peanut butter. Don't feel the pressure to buy one with Chinese characters on it. That's just the world I live in. I used creamy because in my 10 year old head, I remember Butterfingers not actually having peanuts in them.

I took 6 bars of dark chocolate and melted them. I burned them a little, but I still managed to throw down 6 or 7 of these. No love lost here. My friend used milk chocolate and said they were great too.

Mine are not at all pretty because of the putting in the fridge too long incident, but I will say that these were wonderful. So take all those candy corns from your kid's Halloween stash and tell them it's for the greater good that they donate these to you. It can double as a homeschool lesson on socialism.

Do I have to run around?

2011-11-01T13:57:00.000+08:00

If you know my husband, have met my husband, or seen my husband stand in line at Starbucks, you will know this post confirms that our oldest son does indeed share his DNA.

It was a beautiful day and I ~~forced~~ lovingly sent my kids outside. This is his idea of "playing outside."

Tex, Tiger, Lao Hu the Kitten

2011-10-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

A few of you know that I've had a friend here who got rid of her unborn baby this week. It's a long story and probably shouldn't be shared in it's entirety on this here blog. But, I will say that the Lord did something fun for me. I say fun for me because my husband shot me a look the second he laid eyes on my little gift of grace.

As I walked out my door and into the stairwell to walk outside, I saw him. It was as if he was looking up at me and saying "Yes! You can rescue me! Your friend's baby is gone, but I am RIGHT HERE!"

I picked him up, turned around and brought him home. I knocked on the door and met my husband who looked at me and said "Carrie, don't even think about it."We have both decided that we have more on our plate that we can handle already, so the cat needs to find another family. But on the heels of the situation with my friend, I was certainly not going to abandon it. I would rather sleep outside with it bundled on a park bench than let it go outside without a mother cat or a home.

Long story short, we have taken the cat in for the weekend and will give it up for adoption on Monday to a loving friend and home. I have to say that giving it up was hard. I know it's for the best, but my compassion strings were playing a loud tune. My poor husband got pummeled by the snowball of emotion that started tumbling about two weeks ago. While as a couple, we had made the rational decision that a pet isn't a good idea for our family right now, but that didn't matter when I looked into this sweet kitten's eyes.

I was frustrated that we had to give him up and the first night, that I rolled over in bed and said in a rather non-submissive tone "Sometimes compassion isn't rational."

It just isn't.

While I still believe that statement is true, I am also thankful for a husband that knows we have limitations that have to be considered. If I weren't married to him, I'd be that old lady with 16 kids, 85 cats and a collection of porcelain hummingbirds shoved into my china cabinet.

"Anorectal" Ads Dripping with Immaturity

2011-10-23T10:40:00.002+08:00

If you are offended at potty humor in any way, shape or form, skip this post. It's dripping with immaturity and inappropriateness. I just couldn't help it.

As I walked home from dropping the kids off from school, my peripherals stumbled upon this beauty. Just your typical "Anorectal Hospital" ad.

Apparently this ancient cauldron has not yet seen the "Anorectal" doctors, because he is still leaking.

He is still leaking hot lava.

I shivered, laughed, shivered again and then took the picture. The vividness of this picture was effective in it's not so subtle message that "anorectal" problems can plague us all.

Worldview Perspective

2011-10-20T07:00:00.003+08:00

A little worldview perspective for you on a Wednesday morning.

Lennon vs. Lenin

2011-10-18T03:09:00.000+08:00

While sitting down with Selah, her Chinese textbook and a friend, a mounting cultural conversation happened.

"Mom, who's Lennon?"

Thinking to myself "How do I describe John Lennon to a 9 year-old girl who has no concept of boy bands, pop music and cultural icons?" I paused.

I was lining up bullet points in my mind:

1. British pop-star

2. Co-founder of one of the most successful rock bands in modern music history.

3. Prolific singer-song writer.

On and on my mind raced.

She was still looking at her Chinese textbook when she pointed out his picture to me.

"See, this guy...Lenin." As in Vladamir.

Oh, THAT Lenin. Well, he wasn't quite as cool as the Lennon I was thinking about. Sporting similar names, slightly different lives.

Eating Jewish Style

2011-10-15T03:35:00.000+08:00

I love our history curriculum. I love history. I am admittedly a moron in history.

History Odyssey has several books to choose from that will add tons of hands on stuff to do with your kids. I have issues with sitting still and learning. While my kids do sit down and crank out worksheets everyday, I have also found that we all need a change of pace. Frequently. They have coloring books, craft books, recipes, 3D models and links to all types of websites to give them a better understanding of what's going on. And honestly, it helps me have a clue as to what happened in Ancient Mesopotamia. It seems that I was busy keeping my hair sprayed bangs in place while my colleagues studied history in junior high.

We are studying Ancient Israel right now. Besides it being fascinating, it has stretched our understanding of God's grace to the Israelites as they were in slavery, wandered and finally inherited the promises of God.

We had friends coming to our house for dinner on Wednesday, so I decided to do a reenactment of a Passover Seder meal. Little did they know that this would require them to wear a head dress and clean our house with our children. One of the first parts of the Passover is to clean the house of yeast. So, I put pieces of bread on the shelves and they cleaned it. It also gave me an excuse to not organize the bookshelf before having them over for dinner.

The boys wore turbans. My 4 year old told me he was a Jewish pirate. Yes, that just might be a pair of pajama pants on my husband's head. Oh, the things he does to indulge my creative side.

We had a blast recounting the afflictions the Israelites suffered in the desert. We then went on to celebrating the hope found in the cross and our own redemption as His children.

Days are evil. God is not.

2011-10-12T08:19:00.004+08:00

I walked into my house this morning filling up my mug with coffee and cream, hoping it would make sense of a world that hurts. Maybe, just maybe, my consistent morning coffee would add security to what my eyes have seen in just this last week alone.

A friend pregnant with baby #3. Illegal. Baby. Wanted by some, unwanted by many. Told to dispose of it. It's just a baby.

A friend pregnant. Fearful of a history spotted with miscarriages.

A young girl. Abused by a hand supposed to comfort. A parent taking revenge on a child. In public.

I cry.

A friend pregnant. Surprise. Knowing the joy. Fearing the sacrifice. Miscarriage. Grieving. Hurting.

Babies found in cans meant for trash. Against all odds. Found. Survived.

Belligerent parent's heart changed. A child's plea for them. Prayers answered. Hopes captured.

Days are deceiving. Control is fleeting. God is hope.

What's in a Sacrifice?

2011-10-10T04:09:00.001+08:00

Jobs says he authorized biography so his kids can know him.

As I saw this headline, my first thought was sadness. To live a life and realize at the end of it that your children revere you as provider...and stranger. And then I started thinking about those few individuals that live in any given generation that sacrifice their own families in order to serve the world at large. Whether you admire or abhor Steve Jobs, we have to sit and think through what it means to sacrifice. Did he make billions of dollars? Yes. But now his children are sitting with a filled bank account, but empty memories of their father. And guys like that aren't usually doing what they are doing for the money. They are visionaries. Thinkers. Motivators. World Changers.

At what point does one realize that they will have to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others?

That they have been placed in such an extroordinary position that their lives will require more of them than most.

It's easy to villianize this type of person. To say that they neglected their families and they should have been home more. But, let us also realize that if Jobs decided to pull back, the ripple effects of his absence would be too numerous to measure. I for one am thankful for his sacrifice and hopeful that his kids will see that sacrifice and be grateful one day too.

*** As a quick sidenote: I think that this type of extraordinary talent happens in only a handful of people in each generation. I do not in fact endorse people using lame excuses to not be with their families. That is all.

Get Real Bookshelves

2011-10-07T07:47:00.000+08:00

I had a rough day. But I will say that it ended in a few minutes of laughter. Out loud. By myself.

One of the things that cracks me up about blogging, pinterest and social media in general is that we get to pretend our lives are packaged neatly, wrapped in eco-friendly paper and placed on our matching antique hutch that we bought at a thrift store and restored ourselves while our husbands coached family friendly soccer on the weekends.

I look at this picture and I wonder if there are actually kids living in these homes. Let's take a little showcase tour of the above photo.

My favorite bookshelf was the one where all the books lined up in a lovely rainbow color sequence. My bookshelves are also lined up, looking like a rainbow. They start and end and have lots of colors...just like a rainbow. And, you never know when and where the books will pop up...just like a rainbow.

Then, the little merry-go-round bookshelf. It would take my boys 4.3 seconds to shovel the books onto the floor, sticking their rompuses inside those little cubbies. They would then convince little sister to do it. They would spin around in it until they puke.

Then there's the wooden dinosaur, ant-eater looking bookshelf. My kids would take the books, slide them down the railings and jump off the top, pretending to be ninjas.

Another favorite of mine is the tree bookshelf. I can guarantee those tree limbs would end up having birds drawn in neon crayon. They would all be pooping on the heads of dolls lined up at the bottom.

As fun as having a personal hammock to nestle into next to a glorious bookshelf would be, I'm not sure real life would allow that to happen. Maybe it's just OUR real life that doesn't allow that to happen. Sometimes I look at these things and I would love to have a house that looks like a magazine. And then I remember that trying to keep couches egg shell white and bookshelves stacked in color coordination would require more of me than I'm willing to give to my furniture.

Monkey Man turns 4

2011-10-04T08:08:00.007+08:00

Dora, Dora, look who's four-a! Our monkey man turned four this past week.

Actually, he turned 4 two weeks ago, but the calendar has not been our friend lately, so we celebrated late. He didn't know. He didn't care. There was pizza and cake to be had, that was enough for him.

As we went around the table and told him what we loved about him, he made silly faces and squirmed in his seat. Being uncomfortable showing emotion...check...he is ready for junior high.

We told him that he is a great leader

he knows what he wants

he perseveres

he loves to protect those he loves

is an awesome big brother to Makaria

he is VERY cuddly.

He opened a Buzz Lightyear back pack and just about had a stroke. He was so excited and has asked to wear it every hour since opening it.

His siblings got him candy, a "pre-owned" Bible, and some "pre-owned" stickers.

Then, it was time for the Buzz Lightyear scooter. Being half-naked and Buzz Lightyear are two of his love languages.

I made a Buzz cake. I simply printed off pictures from the internet, colored them and slapped them on. There was no way I could have fashioned a Buzz on my own and still kept all my hair intact. He didn't care what it looked like, it was Buzz and there was chocolate.

I can so vividly remember this kid being in utero, it's scary. I get restless leg syndrome just thinking about it.

The next day was the celebration with his classmates at school. The bakery only had three choices for kid's cakes. You cannot detour from the set birthday cake script. If you do, complete panic happens. DO NOT ask them to change anything. So, I cut out a spider man from a coloring book cover and laid it on top of the white chocolate Hello Kitty.

This sweet class is singing Happy Birsday!

Eating with his friends.

This dude makes us laugh every day. He adds so much passion and excitement to our days. We love this little monkey!

Eat, Play, Give

2011-10-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

Here's a great website called freerice for your kids to practice vocabulary, math, grammar, geography and other subjects. Every time they get an answer right, 10 grains of rice are donated. The more they play, the more they learn. The more they learn, the more lives are saved through the gift of rice.

Pretty easy formula if you ask me.

Capturing China in Pictures

2011-09-27T08:54:00.002+08:00

These are pictures a friend took way out in Yunnan Province. He is an incredible photographer. You know how there are just some pictures that capture the spirit and struggle of others? He has done that in all of his pictures that he's taken since being in country. Check out his site for more incredible pictures.

Ugh, I wish I was smarter. I couldn't get the larger picture to line up without it running over into my sidebar. The smaller one will have to do.

He has spoken stories and listened to testimonies through these pictures. I love them all.

Grandparent Gush-Boys Edition

2011-09-23T19:25:00.004+08:00

Here are my boys.

Kesed is 4.

Malachi is 7.

I love these guys.

As a quick aside, my little buddy just lost his first tooth! And then his mom accidentally threw it in the trash. Good move, Mom.

Choice Limitations=Parenting Freedom

2011-09-20T14:54:00.000+08:00

With 5 kids, there are a few things that we have discovered that provide sanity to our daily lives. As of today, our kids are 9, 7, 5, 3 (4 next week) and 3. 5 kids under 10 can bring 100 gray hairs before 40. BUT, it can also bring tons of fun, laughter and stories to tell at the wedding.

One of the most important for us is choice limitations.

There, I said it.

I am going to butt straight up against the American ideal of freedom and say that kids needs limits. And I mean not just "don't touch the electrical socket or play with butcher knives" type of limits. I mean daily limits to even trivial choices. Now, this will look different for my 9 year old than it will for my 3 year old. As they get older, hopefully they can handle more freedom to choose by themselves. But, if they haven't learned how to make choices as a toddler, than they certainly won't be able to make them as a teenager battling hormones and peer pressure.

This all started when my oldest daughter was 3. Hubs told her to take off her shoes. She refused. My husband told her to stay in her room until she had taken off her shoes. 3 1/2 hours later, she was ready to give in. It was at this point that we realized we had taken a wrong path somewhere along the way. We called for a huddle. We did some reading and decided to start limiting her choices. See, we had done like most typical Western parents do and had given our 3 year old tons of choices in her day. So, when it came time for us to impose a limit on her, she decided that she didn't want to do it our way. Why should she? We had been giving her all these choices all day long. For example:

1. A kid gets up in the morning and I give them milk. "But Mom, I want juice". No big deal, I give them juice.

2. I give them Cheerios. "Mom, can I please have Fruit Loops?" Because she asked so nicely, I give it to her.

3. "Oh Mommy, I don't want the blue bowl, I want the orange one."

Do you see this pattern? I know these all seem like such trivial things, but what I am telling my child is that they can dictate what they can and cannot have. As a parent, I had also bought into the lie that giving my 3 year old tons of choices, it was teaching them independence and discernment. The wrong thinking in this is that a 3 year old needs to be guided into what good thinking and independence really means. This is usually the scene that follows a morning like I've laid out above:

1. I tell my daughter to come here and put her lunch plate away. Flailing and pouting will occur because she doesn't want to do it. All of the sudden I am imposing a rule on her. She has been her own boss all morning and all of the sudden I'm jumping in and taking over.

This can all happen so subtly that you don't even realize what's going on. All you know is that your kid is throwing fits every time they don't get what they want.

When hubs and I see that we are slacking in this area, we have to have a time of retraining for the kids and ourselves. Honestly, training us as parents can be even harder than the kids. For several days, we have to enact a choices boot camp. We give them virtually no choices in their day. I simply give them milk, Cheerios and the blue bowl. If they don't like it, I just take it away. Simple. At first they argue, complain and cry. Eventually they realize that I'm in charge again and they fall in line. At 3, they cannot differentiate between simple (what cup to choose) and moral choices (should I hit my sister). We have to help them understand that they cannot simply do or get whatever their little hearts tell them.

After a few days of no choices whatsoever and a changed attitude, we slowly start introducing choices back into their day. Maybe I let them pick juice or milk. But those are the ONLY two choices. No third option that they throw out. And sometimes we just arbitrarily choice limit even our older ones, just to remind them that we are in charge here.

Choice limiting has radically changed our family. They become more grateful when we say 'yes' and they find it easier to obey right away, all the way and with a joyful heart.

Pretzels, Nachos and our Third Culture Kids

2011-09-17T09:39:00.000+08:00

Selah is studying Tolstoy right now. She and I read through his short folktale "Three Rolls and a Pretzel" yesterday, so we decided to invite a few friends over and make homemade pretzels.

I casually overheard a great third culture kid conversation (those of you unfamiliar with that term, it is a term used to define a child who is living in a culture different from their parents. They can't completely identify with their parent's culture (the US), but also aren't completely blended into their home culture (China), therefore creating a 3rd culture). Anyway, here's how the conversation went:

L: I've never had pretzels like this. When we visited America last year, we never had these kind.

A: Ya, me neither. (thinking hard for a minute) But I have had nachos.

L: (also taking a second to think) Ya, I've had nachos too.

I laughed so hard to myself hearing them relate these pretzels to nachos. So random and yet so fitting for their lifestyles.

These really were great pretzels. They taste pretty close to the ones you get in the mall to appease a crying child while you shop. Here's the recipe:

Ingredients

1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/8 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup bread flour
2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
2 tablespoons baking soda
2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons coarse kosher salt

Directions

In a large mixing bowl, dissolve the yeast, brown sugar and salt in 1 1/2 cups warm water. Stir in flour, and knead dough on a floured surface until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, and turn to coat the surface. Cover, and let rise for one hour.

***If you have a bread maker, just throw everything in and turn it on.

Combine 2 cups warm water and baking soda in an 8 inch square pan. Line 6 baking sheets with parchment paper.
After dough has risen, cut into 12 pieces. Roll each piece into a 3 foot rope, pencil thin or thinner. Twist into a pretzel shape, and dip into the baking soda solution. Place onto parchment covered baking sheets, and let rise 15 to 20 minutes.
Preheat an oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C).
Bake in the preheated oven for 8 to 10 minutes, or until golden brown. Brush with melted butter, and sprinkle with coarse salt, garlic salt or cinnamon sugar.

It's a great recipe for little hands too. And for mom's who get to take bites of each child's pretzel and then tell herself that she didn't eat any.

Waving the Flag of My Life Overseas

2011-09-15T11:09:00.000+08:00

I just realized that while all other Americans were reflecting deeply on the events of 9/11, I was blogging about a Rabbi and his homosexual matchmaking fallacies. Nice, Carrie. 9/11 was huge. It's still huge. I think it's really important to reflect and reconsider.

The thing about living overseas is that the cultural waves that sweep through in America are missed. I often forget what date it is, what American holiday is coming up, and how to appropriately use English contractions. There is good and bad about jumping the cultural waves instead of getting bowled over by them. For example, we own nothing with Justin Beiber or Hanna Montana's face plastered on it. That's a win. The loss is when you have important events that transform and impact you as a person.

That's all. Just wanted to acknowledge the day....and my glaring immaturity on such an important American event.

Parenthood ain't no glue

2011-09-12T08:16:00.001+08:00

I read this article a few days ago. Here's the premise:

"Rabbi Arele Harel offers an unconventional solution for Orthodox Jewish gay men who want to raise a conventional family: He fixes them up with Orthodox lesbians."

I'm not going to jump into the deep end of the theological pool and discuss homosexuality and Orthodoxy. Ya, I know you were hoping for a little mid-rash on the subject, but you're not gonna get it here.

He goes on to say:

"Harel contends that gay and lesbian partners learn to love each other once children arrive. 'Their love is based on parenthood. Parenthood is the glue and it's strong.' "

I'm pretty sure I laughed out loud and choked on my tongue when I read this sentence above. They learn to love each other AFTER the children arrive comment. Right....I'm sure it's the delirium of being up until 3 am with a colicky baby and the nursing mishaps that end up with milk being sprayed across the table, hitting your partner in the temple that makes for a wonderful get to know you session. No, it must be the diaper blow outs that happen in the cereal isle or the cheerios stuck to your forehead while you walk into the bank. Ahh yes, that must be it.

I LOVE being a parent, but I'm not sure that pushing things out of my baby's constipated stomach with my spouse is going to make me fall deeply in love with him. And at least in a more traditional marriage, where say you actually like each other before the kids come, there was a bond and attraction that you could hold tight to when parenting becomes hard. In this little set up arranged by the rabbi, I'm not sure the initial attraction is even there to begin with.

Parenthood is only glue if you have established the connection before the kids arrive. Otherwise, parenthood will merely be a fragile sealing of two broken people .

The Path of Civility

2011-09-09T11:07:00.001+08:00

As some of you know, we were visited by two patrol ladies last week to make sure we were being civilized. They explained their mission and gave us fans. On these fans gave 10 ways you can be a civilized human being.

Check yourselves against these suggestions. You just might be surprised at how non-civilized you've become.

1. Don't just spit anywhere.

2. Don't throw your fruit skins or paper scraps on the ground.

3. Don't throw your trash away in a messy fashion.

4. Don't destroy public property.

5. Don't damage the grass.

6. Don't run red lights.

7. Don't put your vending carts all over the place.

8. Don't paste advertisements anywhere and everywhere.

9. Don't smoke in public places.

10. If you are in the service industry (ie, waitresses or retail), you shouldn't say things like "I don't know!" Or "Go ask someone else!"

On the back of the fans, they gave some advice about procreation. Why not?

The procreation rules are as follows:

1. Be free to love and marry whomever you want.

2. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend too young is a bad idea. Having a relationship once you are older and more mature is much better.

3. Decide to have babies when you are not too old, but not too young. And...decide to have less kids.

4. Having a boy and a girl are both good options. Girls also have the right to exist and pass along the family name.

5. The one child policy is the responsibility of the husband.

6. Give babies good health; feed them well; and teach them well. These things will help us have a quality population. And...if you have too many kids, you can't care for them.

7. Men and women are equal. You should treat women with respect.

8. Care about yourself and don't get an STD.

9. Pursue a good quality of life.

10. Have a healthy lifestyle and admire your family's morals.

Just follow the advice of the fan and all will go well with you. I think this is some famous Chinese proverb from somewhere. Actually, these things do give good cultural insights into what they deem as moral and civil. This month is the civility competition month between various cities, thus the women on patrol and the policemen actually handing out tickets.

The ladies came once last week and again a few night ago. So weird that they came twice. I feel like we are the definition of civility.

Sacrifices on Our Way to School

2011-09-07T08:56:00.002+08:00

As I walked to my kids to school, I happened upon this. It's a fairly common scene to see the remnants of a sacrifice offered the night before. Noodles, fruit, and paper replicas are burned as a gift for the deceased family members in the afterlife.

Earlier this year, I wrote about how many people are now giving ipads to their ancestors. I'm not sure what was burned here, but it breaks my heart every time to see the pile of offerings so hopefully given.

August

2011-09-05T07:40:00.001+08:00

A intense bag of cumin labeled "unwearied however effort powder"

rehearsing a Justin Bieber dance with a friend. I can now understand the fear of Western culture infiltration.

Hugs in their qi paos. Not only should everyone hug, but everyone should wear a qipao at least once in your life. It makes you feel dainty.

A box full of August activities to pull from every morning

raw sewage peek out of its gopher hole every time I turned on the sink

homemade flower vases made from old coffee creamer and peanut butter jars

buzz lightyear, boats and one very satisfied 3 year old boy

tattoo fruit roll ups that you can lick and put in indiscrete places

And I'll leave you with this word of wisdom as we start the school year once again:

"Sweet Love Frequently Lisps"

The End.

Free ESV from Kindle

2011-09-02T08:40:00.001+08:00

Amazon is offering a free version of the ESV for Kindle.

If you don't have it, go there and get it. And in case you didn't know, you can download the Kindle app for your ipad or computer and read it just like a Kindle.

Scholastic Bookwizard

2011-08-30T08:28:00.001+08:00

Our kids go through books like a newborn goes through diapers. And one of the ~~problems~~ hurdles we have with living overseas is that our access to books is limited. As of August, 2011, the kid's ebook selection is about 2 laps behind the adult ebook world. It's catching up but at a grandma's pace. I don't have the luxury of ordering lots of books, just hoping my kids will like them. My gambling margin of error is pretty much none.

Something I've discovered lately is this bookwizard from Scholastic

You can punch in a book that your kids have really enjoyed and the level you want them to be reading next. For example, my kids have loved Magic Tree House. But 2 of my kids can now read them in one bathroom sitting. I can use this bookwizard to type in "Magic Tree House" but then I type in what level I want the search to include. For us, I will type in 3 grade levels above Magic Tree House.

Voila! The bookwizard lists out the books of similar story lines, but more age appropriate for my kids. It's like having a personal librarian without the hair bun, glasses on a chain and the snide comments about the Michael Jackson Fan book that you wanted to check out every week of second grade.

Some of us still have scars.

If I were to write a movie...

2011-08-27T10:45:00.000+08:00

If I were to write a movie, this would be the premise: You only have a limited number of words to use before you die.

For each person, that number is different. At some point in your life, there will be a light that goes off on some device planted in your hand to tell you that you have just 100 words left to use before you die. So, for some people, that signal will come after a life has been lived, loves have been lost and relationships have been restored. But for others, the last 100 words will come at a high school graduation or after the loss of a first tooth. A signal might come at a time where the concept of death has yet to be imagined.

When a person discovers he has yet 100 words to impart as a legacy, what an incredible scene to watch played out. I imagine that a few people would escape to live a more monastic final existence, using their final breaths not to speak words but to meditate and reach inwards. A young bride might sit her new husband down and speak her 100 over coffee as she shares her dreams she has for him after she dies. There might be a hero who uses his last words while issuing a "not guilty" verdict to a wrongly accused criminal. Maybe an orphanage worker who's last 3 words are whispered "I love you" into the ear of a child.

Thinking through this little script of mine, I've been reminded how often I waste words to complain, grumble or knock others down. I imagine how different my life would look if I knew my words were limited. I smile at the conversations I would spend just listening and learning and not feeling like I needed to contribute anything. I wonder what I would say to my husband, my children, my God.

The Day Luck took a Vacation

2011-08-25T09:40:00.006+08:00

We set off on a fairly simple journey to a lonely Taiwanese island for a visa run. Imagine for a second, the picture above was taken from those cute circle windows you find on luxury cruise lines. Then, come back to reality for a minute while I explain what happened.

We were supposed to get to the city and catch the ferry over to this island on the first day. Except that when we went to show our passports to check into the hotel, I realized that I had only brought all of the new passports. The problem with this little scenario is that for 3 of our kids, their Chinese visas were in their OLD passports. So not even 2 hours after getting off the train, I was getting back on one. I spent two hours on the train, one hour taking the taxi back and forth from my house and running like I was being chased by an axe murderer. I hopped back on the two hour train and made it back in time for dinner. I had sweat through my shirt like a middle age bowler.

The next day, we boarded the ferry early and made our way to Taiwan. For three straight years, I had perpetual nightmares of my children drowning. Horrible, horrible scenes that I won't go into for fear I will plant these thoughts into your head. But just know that these dreams instilled much fear in me when I thought of bringing my children on this ferry. I brought a floatie with us. Yes, I did.

My family made fun of me. I just made sure to locate the safety devices and told myself in my head they would all thank me if this thing capsized. I used my insanity to remind everyone of the Titanic and man's assumption that we think we all have control over things, when really we don't. They still mocked me and my issues, but I felt better about the whole thing.

We made our way to the top and I told them all if they got too close to the edge, they would fall and be eaten by sharks.

On the ferry, we ran into this sign.

After the ferry, we headed to the water park where we managed to buy tickets, go to eat lunch and then lose the tickets on our way back to the park. Lovely. We re-bought tickets and headed inside to meet our friends. After dinner, it was late and time to catch our train, so we headed back to the train station. It's now 9 pm and we're all exhausted. We sit down and the guy next to us leans over to look at our tickets and tell us that our train has been canceled.

Of course it has.

This entire trip was one of missteps. So, we and the rest of China headed out to find taxis. A cultural tid bit: Chinese don't do lines...ever. You have to throw elbows and push grandmas around to get on a bus. It's just the way of things. It didn't matter that we were dragging 5 kids around at 10:30, nobody would let us in a taxi. We walked for about an hour on the side of the highway and still nothing.

Finally, a random guy in a van stopped to pick us up. We took him up on his offer and got to our hotel (hoping they had a room) around 11 pm.

The next morning, we had breakfast and a few gallons of coffee, then we waited on our train (which incidentally was also late). We made it back home yesterday afternoon and crashed into bed last night.

It was a crazy trip, but we're home now. We got to the point where we just laughed and tried to enjoy whatever it was the Lord wanted to throw at us next.

Normal for a Day

2011-08-23T09:39:00.000+08:00

We did a visa run this past weekend. When you think of a visa run, think more of a visa trip, fall, crawl to the finish line. More on that in another post. Hanging out with these guys was the highlight of our trip. They finished up their adoption process right after ours and we've been excited to meet them ever since.

4 adults, 9 kids and nobody drowned when we invaded this new water park. This water park had huge slides for the bigger kids and a great smaller kid area with slides, swings and spitting dragons.

Before our train was supposed to leave, we headed to their place for dinner and dressing up like knights.

I cannot tell you how fun it was to play with a family just like ours. For a brief few hours, our family felt completely and totally normal. Even if normal looks like this:

This family was an incredible blessing to a crazy trip. We cannot wait to hang with them again.

*Love the fact that I am strangling my husband in one hand and holding a melted strawberry ice cream in the other. Classic.

The Wide Gender Divide in our Home

2011-08-19T13:11:00.000+08:00

In case you fall into the camp of thinking that there is very little difference in the genders, I want to share with you today's art project. My girls worked diligently making their stained glass. They made flowers and patterns and made sure that the colors matched.

My 3 year old son made a robot.

A pooping robot.

A robot pooping on the head of the panda.

The end.

Our stained glass project today came out of our August box. Because Chinese schools are out for now, we have the whole month of August to fill with activities that involve us not pulling each other's hair out. We have had a blast picking one our each morning.

Mexican food and my internet friend

2011-08-16T12:31:00.000+08:00

I realize that this picture makes it look like we went bar hopping all night, but this is all I could get with my phone balancing on an half empty glass of water. This is my friend, Michelle. We were actually only internet friends until last night. But, the thing that had bound us together was life in China with a large family....and a few of them are black. She and her family went through the adoption process around the same time we did. They brought home two sweet kids that we will get to meet when we invade their city again next week.

We went to a Mexican food place last night because, well, a woman's got needs. Chips and salsa might make my food pyramid a little wobbly, but it adds skip to my step. As I walked there, I felt so nervous. I had these anxieties as if I were headed to a blind date. I found my stomach in knots, thinking "Will she like me? What if we run out of things to talk about? What if I offend her in the first 2 minutes and she crawls into the bathroom stall to look for a quick exit out the air vent?"

But it went great! I We scarfed down the chips and I cleaned my plate like it was the last edible thing on the planet. We chatted about life in China with a big family and adoption issues and stupid things people say to us on a daily basis. We sat behind a noisy group of men downing margaritas when it donned on me that we two women represented 9 children. She is one of only a handful of people on this earth that can fully understand our lives. It was wonderful.

I can't wait for the rest of my family to meet them next week.

On my way to the bus

2011-08-15T12:58:00.000+08:00

I went on the bus today. I brought my camera because going somewhere without my children dangling from my elbows allows me to take things in. It's a guarantee that I will see something worthy of snapping a picture. These are a few of the things that planted themselves along my path as I walked to and from the bus stop.

A music note.

Two overstuffed, nightmare inducing bunnies advertising for a pharmacy.

An elderly lady collecting her retirement in the form of plastic bottles and aluminum cans.

A large performance with judges sitting in our apartment complex. There were strobe lights, smoke machines and...

old ladies dressed in neon green, waving fans and doing Tai Chi.

Chinese Smores

2011-08-13T16:19:00.006+08:00

We decided to do smores...

China style.

There's an Octopus in my Shower

2011-08-10T08:04:00.000+08:00

As I sat in the shower this morning, I was hoping for a normal day. Inside the draping cavern of my white shower curtain lived an octopus, a spider man book, and a lego truck.

For just a brief second, I thought how it would be nice to get my shower back from the nomadic village of toys that has taken up residence for the last 10 years. I was wanting a normal adult shower. This week has brought spilled neon paint, broken coffee tables, no electricity, bath water that smells like burnt chicken stomach, a broken washing machine and 5 kids asking me "What do we do now?" I asked myself why I coveted 'normal' and if I really knew what 'normal' meant for me.

Apparently, for me and my family, normal means things breaking weekly. It means that we will consistently be thrown into situations that we have to use a second language to try and solve and sometimes that will mean that we will be seen on a bus holding a toilet seat we just purchased at a nearby market. This is normal.

As I smiled at my octopus friend staring at me from behind my shampoo, I found myself being grateful for our normal. Our normal includes chaotic laughter and desperate searching for the Lord's presence, because without that, we are just loud and lost. And one day, those toys will be gone and I'll have to redefine normal again. But for now, I'm grateful for their presence.

today i saw...electrons in her nostrils

2011-08-06T15:45:00.000+08:00

today i saw...

This lady shooting electrons or magnetic shocks up her right nostril...in the grocery store.

I love this place.

Elyse Fitzpatrick's "Because He Loves Me"

2011-08-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

Elyse Fitzpatrick's "Because He Loves Me" was a wonderful reminder of the gospel for me. I spent time in it each morning and felt my heart's affections being renewed as I remembered what was accomplished through the cross.

The question that challenged me each day as I engaged her writing, was

"In my pursuit of godliness, have I lost Jesus?"

This was convicting as I find myself in constant motion in my walk with the Lord. I am always looking to do and improve, but very seldom am I saturated in the gospel message. I want to pursue Jesus to the same degree that I pursue being patient with my kids or loving to my neighbors. Non-Christians can purpose to do good things. I can only do good things when I realize my motivations have been redeemed by a Savior who looked at me and called me His daughter.

ADHD Trials

2011-08-01T19:31:00.000+08:00

Last year while in the States, both my husband and one of my sons were diagnosed with ADHD. As a Christian, this has been a long road of prayer, changing diets, fasting, getting wise counsel, reading books and finally surrendering to professional counseling and medication. For several years, my husband and I defaulted to the "If God wants to heal us, then let's allow Him to do it without medication." Do I think that God heals? Yes. As a matter of fact, I know He does because I've seen it. But in the words of my husband, damage was being done to our family and there was no hope that things would get better any time soon.

After meeting with friends in the States and being painfully open about our struggles, they pushed us to get medical help. He saw a Christian counselor, told the doctor that he hated psychologists and they've been friends ever since. He took this diagnostic test and the Dr. told him that he was off the charts for ADHD.

Now, for those of you who know my husband, I'm sure you see this as a certain misdiagnosis. As a matter of fact, when he came home from the appointment and told me what the dr. said, I laughed like Sarah did when God told her she would be pregnant at 90 years of age. The thing was that I didn't understand the other side of ADHD. The side that caused him to hyper focus and not recognize what was going on around him. The side that had him thinking about the atonement of Christ while we were standing in the middle of the busy highway trying to get 5 kids into the taxi.

I saw all of this as selfish, inattentive to other's needs and consistently being patronizing to people who didn't think all day long. What was really going on was that his brain was fixated. It couldn't switch gears and as we have since found out, moved slower than the rest of our minds. This seems counter intuitive because my husband is smart, responsible and capable. But, it's like his brain is trying to barrel down the highway in first gear. People, things, objects are flying past him at warp speed, so he would just turn inward because looking out was a blur and quickly became over stimulating.

As if you couldn't see the train wreck coming, this is not a great formula for marital bliss. I think we had a great marriage, but between my stubborn independence and his overstimulation and fixation issues, we were quite the force to be reckoned with.

After we decided to go the medication route, the turnaround was nothing short of miraculous. He noticed the gaggle of children dangling from me as I cooked. He came over and helped instead of coming over and asking me what I thought about Romans 9. Loud dinners and big get togethers with friends no longer tempted him to retreat to the other room.

Previously, we felt like he had no tools to be able to handle normal situations that arise daily. As if you were to ask a paraplegic to get up and jump. There is no way they could do it without being given a pair of legs. Medicine became the legs that have helped him get up and jump.

The Idol of Busyness

2011-07-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

Busyness is an interesting god. It tells us that we are important and needed. It reminds us that if we keep moving, eventually our existence will be validated. This idol tells us that if we stop to chat with our elderly neighbor or write a letter to a friend, that someone else will be gaining ground on us. Busyness becomes such powerful force demanding our worship, that we minimize things like relationships because relating doesn't get us anywhere.

Networking. Now, that's the kind of relating that the god of busyness loves. It makes us feel like we are investing in another human being, but actually we are just using them as fuel to drive our desire to be known by others and appear successful to the world around us.

In the Christian world, we can fill our days with good things. Things that look like service and love, but in our minds, we know that they are simply the Christian counterpart to the secular desire for fame. We simply find a smaller pool to become known in.

I have fallen pray to the idol of busyness too many times to count. As I am running around frantically serving others, Jesus is waiting for me to stop. I am finding much contentment in being a Martha, when Jesus is simply sitting over with Mary.

What would happen to me if all the busyness simply stopped?

Would I fall apart or would I begin to breathe?

At the end of the day, did I find more joy in praying quietly in the back of the room with a struggling friend, or attending the meeting with all the big names?

Thai Basil and Pork and the Inferior Coordination of White People

2011-07-25T19:49:00.001+08:00

All these recipes in a row and I'm gonna have you all fooled that I can actually function properly in the kitchen. I usually just steal recipes and change a thing or two. I'm growing a few herbs, which I'm actually failing quite miserably at. Creatures from every genus and species have taken up residence in my little herb garden. I didn't think Chinese bugs would have a taste for basil, but it looks as if their palate has evolved considerably.

This recipe is actually for spring rolls. I tried making this inside spring rolls and I will tell you that I think Asian people have better hand/eye coordination than us white people. Their dexterity with small things like ping pong and spring rolls baffles my mind. The wrappers were soggy and fell apart, so we dissected them and ate the insides. Now I forsake the spring rolls so that my delicate self esteem can remain remotely intake while I live among such a coordinated population.

I also double and sometimes triple this recipe. It's great with rice or even a fried noodle dish.

1/2 pound ground pork
1 cup finely shredded cabbage
1/4 cup finely shredded carrot
2 green onions, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
1/2 tablespoon oyster sauce
2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger root
1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon chile sauce (you can even leave this out if you aren't a fan of spice)
Top with fresh basil (arguably my favorite part of the dish)

Delegation Plan A

2011-07-22T19:09:00.001+08:00

Wednesday in our casa means that my almost 10-year old daughter cooks dinner for the family. She has to come up with the grocery list, write it (in Chinese) for our house helper to pick up first thing in the morning, cut, prep and cook.

I've worked with her to be able to independently cook about 7 different dinners. She works through 2 or 3 until she feels like she can do it all by herself. Tonight, it was breakfast tacos with sausage and hash browns. She did it all by herself.

I see this as a win win for me. (Yes, that is my son clench fisted and angry about something. I left this picture in just to show you how real our life is on a daily basis. I've got no time for pretending we've got our act together). She is learning valuable skills in the kitchen and learning to serve her family.

I've told all of my children that at 8 years old, we start practicing more independent cooking and then by 9 they are assigned a specific night to cook. As I was unfolding my genius plan, Malachi was gazed over in thought and then announced that "Hey, wait a minute! We've got 5 kids, so that means that in a few years, you won't be cooking at all!!!"

Bingo.

Makaria's 3rd Birthday

2011-07-20T08:55:00.000+08:00

My girl turned 3 a couple of weeks ago.

This was the picture where we first laid eyes on our sweet girl. That was 2 years ago. She now looks at this picture and tells me, "I was sitting there waiting for you." She really does say that to me, it's not just a line. She easily could have said "Look at my big tummy!" But, she doesn't. And that makes me smile and get a little weepy. Not gonna lie.

We did a little party at her Chinese school after waking up to signs and cards given to her by the rest of us.

She had a Mei Yang Yang (pretty goat) cake. She is a famous cartoon character here. She's really is not that into cartoons, but the bakery has limited skills. I ordered the cake the day before and we spent the next 24 hours t~~elling~~ reminding her how much she loves Mei Yang Yang.

Those eyes are going to get her in trouble one day. Or at the very least, give her whatever her little heart desires.

At dinner, we had spaghetti and french bread. We all told her the wonderful things we love about her. A few of them were:

full of joy

easily contented

silly and loves to have fun

compassionate

empathetic

Her teachers say she is using lots of Chinese now, but is still pretty quiet in class. She is normally pretty laid back and quiet until she gets comfortable and then there's no going back. She dances and sings all day long, in both English and Chinese.

Brad, Selah and I went to school and sang with her friends who wished her a Happy Birthday!

I cannot believe it's been 2 years. I cannot believe we had a life without her.

Love you sweet girl.

My Go-To Pizza Dough Recipe

2011-07-16T16:54:00.000+08:00

I've tested many a pizza dough recipe. Most of them taste like dinner rolls with red sauce. I don't want my pizza to taste like it came from the Luby's drive thru. I've found one that is now my go-to pizza dough recipe. It's bready, but tastes more like pizza dough. At the bottom, I'm adding a few extras that have amped up my homemade pizza.

Pizza Dough

2 1/2-3 cups flour

2 T sugar

2 1/4 t. yeast

1/2 t salt

1 cup hot water

2 T oil

I throw it all into my bread maker, but you can simply knead it for about 5 minutes and then let it sit and rise in a warm place. Wait until the dough size doubles.

After it rises, divide it into two pieces. This recipe will make two large thin crust pizzas. I usually double the recipe because we breed children for a hobby.

After rolling it into the pizza shape you desire, let it rise for about 20 minutes. Stick it in the oven for about 15 minutes on 350 F (150 C). After it's browned, take out and add your sauce and toppings.

Done.

Here are a few things that I've tweaked to make it have a little more zing.

1. Sprinkle a little cornmeal on the crust before baking it. This seems to give it a little more crunch.

2. Put a pan of water at the bottom of the oven. This is supposed to help the outside of the crust be...well, crusty and the inside soft. I don't know if this actually works, but I still do it because it makes me feel like I know what I'm doing in the kitchen.

3. After the crust is cooked, spread a little garlic butter on top before adding the sauce and cheese. This is especially good when you've got children that don't eat the crust because then you get to consume the garlic butter crusty part all to yourself.

4. I like using half wheat and half white flour. It makes the crust a little more dense. And...we'll fool ourselves into believing that the pizza is now classified as 'healthy' because you used whole wheat.

Graduation Performance

2011-07-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

As you can tell from the boys in speedos and blush, it was once again performance time at my kid's school last week.

This time the performance was for Malachi's graduation. He will be attending half day elementary school in the fall. It's the real deal school for him next semester. No teachers still feeding 7 year olds with a spoon. I wish this was hyperbole for next year being hard, but the teachers actually do feed the 7 year olds with spoons. My children have been told that if they try and let their teachers feed them, they would be doing laps around the apartment complex.

Many of the costumes were made out of cd's, cans or ping pong balls. Here's the dancing cd collection with the recycled can boy staring enviously in the background.

Malachi pretty much rocked it with his rendition of "Mama birds and her little chicks" while wearing his ancient Chinese robe. See the flapping chicks circling him while he sings. Nothing phased that kid while he sang.

The rest of the lost chicks eventually joined him hand in hand and they all left the stage singing about finding their chicken coup or maybe wanting world peace. I wasn't so sure on the translation. I was really proud of my buddy. He was cool and calm and did a fabulous job.

This was by far my favorite costume. She was wrapped tightly in various colored trash bags; including, but not limited to her hair thingy.

As I saw these little "ducks" saunter onto stage, I felt grateful that my son had been given a rather benign costume to wear. I'm not sure bright yellow spandex is cute even on 7 year old Chinese children.

At the end of the show, there were crying teachers who were losing their class to real school and dramatic flower presentations. All of this done with a slow, drippy Celine Dion song reminding us that our love must go on.

Being Righteously Ticked

2011-07-06T08:26:00.000+08:00

Righteous anger. Hmm, previously I have always defined righteous anger as the things that make me rightfully angry: a person cutting in line, a cheater not getting caught, our landlord stealing our stuff. But, this week we went over John 2 where Jesus went postal on the temple salespeople. As I see it, Jesus is defining righteous anger as that which defiles the name of God. Those things that rob glory and attention from God and give it to something earthly. As I sat and let this familiar story sink in, I realized how paradigm shifting this should be for me. If righteous anger is defined as robbing glory from God, then my anger should look different. When I get personally offended, there is a rage that can creep up inside of me. Cutting in line is one of those things that make me want to punch someone in the throat and then shout the first Chinese phrase I ever learned. I will say that the phrase just might include the word 'bastard'. If you are planning on purchasing something, then somebody is certainly cutting in front of you. So, daily I am confronted with this rage that I have to temper. Should I be angry at cutting in line, maybe, but to feel the amount of anger that I feel is probably not ok.

I know this is not OK, because I can compare it to the amount of rage that I feel when I see someone defaming God's name. Do I get angry, yes. Do I feel the same deep rage that I feel when someone body checks me at the market, no. That my friends is misplaced and non-righteous anger. Jesus was angry because people were treating the temple like an ordinary market place. People were misplacing their affections and attention. And Jesus felt like that was severe enough to tie together a whip of cords and scatter the cattle and sheep from the temple. He made a scene because this offense was not only personal, it was spiritual.

I get overly offended at the personal and not offended enough at the spiritual. I should be so much more concerned with people who are defaming God's name than I do with who is cutting in front of me in line. If I am going to spend the energy being angry, it needs to be righteous anger and done for the goal of restoring glory to God's name.

My Little Foreigner Game

2011-07-04T08:02:00.000+08:00

Here's a little game for to start off your day. Can you spot the foreigners?

I know it's hard, but sit in some bright light, strain your eyes and relax your mind.

See, I knew you could do it!

Week 3: Operation Clean Up...Quick!

2011-07-02T06:26:00.001+08:00

Well, we finished week 3 with all limbs still attached. Here's a run down of our week:

1. We didn't get mauled by wolves this week. That's a win.

2. I have realized today that I am going to have to do gratuitous things like shave my legs and brush my hair because my husband will be home in 5 days.

3. I consumed 5 mangoes....today.

4. I averaged 3 cups of coffee a day while he was gone.

5. I watched "Mao's Last Dancer" by myself and cried. A lot. The kind of cry and leaves snot marks on your pillow the next day. Then I wanted to watch it again.

6. The kids and I are making all kinds of potty jokes that are inappropriate when Dad is home. We are going to have to start reigning this in. Starting tomorrow...maybe.

7. I talked to a good friend who just moved back to China with her 4 little Ewoks and we laughed about how the luster of international travel wore off 3 babies ago.

8. I only had one arbitrary parent rule this week. But it was "Kesed and Makaria, you may not sword fight with your private parts!"

Hubs, I will try to keep the permanent damage done while you were gone to a minimum. You will have to excuse our rough edges and inside jokes. We will catch you up and all will be normal very soon.

A little fatherly advice

2011-06-30T06:16:00.000+08:00

My dad just emailed me and gave me a few suggestions of things that my grandfather did with my sister and I when he found himself on baby sitting duty:

1. Play hide and seek with him in living room and count to 100 - several times (he used to watch and think "they will fall asleep in their hiding places before he moved - then what, how will we ever find them").

2. Have them work on a jig saw puzzle (but remove 10% of the pieces - every 30 minutes or so drop one near the table).

3. Scavenger hunt (again removing several items until they are an hour into it then selectively place one or two items back into play).

I know all this is sneaky, but I prefer to call it clever or creative stress management allocation.

Kuiper Belt Cake

2011-06-28T19:54:00.001+08:00

We are using Apologia for Astronomy this year. It's been a great curriculum to do with my oldest two. We started this course while we were in the States for two reasons. First, we lived in Houston and could go to NASA and let the kids learn about space exploration first hand. Second, we could actually see stars. Normally, there is a lovely gray afghan draped comfortably across our sky.

We are almost finished with the book and are rounding out the planets with the "Is Pluto a planet?" debate. We studied the different theories scientists have about the Kuiper Belt. This thing was only truly discovered in 1992. I was in high school folks. Just shows you that while science is good and helpful, let's just remember who gave all of these things their existence.

The funny thing about homeschooling is that I often don't know the answers to their questions. I'm not even sure I ever formally studied Astronomy. So when they ask me questions like "What kind of gases make up Neptune's atmosphere?", I use this as an opportunity to let them use their research skills. And then we learn together. I have loved this journey of learning Astronomy with them.

We made a cake with the orbits of several planets outlined in purple frosting. The M&M's are planets, the wafer is the sun, the wobbly elliptical orbit is Pluto's (this is part reason some scientists don't consider it a planet.), the sprinkles and broken M&M's on the outside are the Kuiper Belt. It's made up of lots of really cold rocks and satellites (the natural kind, not the NBC kind).

Some of Pluto's orbit includes the Kuiper Belt. So, we added the last bit of sprinkles and we finished with this:

Why does my 9 year old look 16 in this picture. I'm going to have to burn this one.

We had a blast. Then we cut it up and gave a bunch to neighbors.

Happy Kuiper Belt Day!

The day we almost got mauled by a wolf

2011-06-25T13:13:00.004+08:00

Today...my 5 little sheep and I almost got mauled by a wolf. Why, you might ask, does a wolf live in a city of 6 million people? I will tell you very straight faced, never ask why. That is a dangerous question when living overseas. Just keep it to yourself.

So, the double stroller is weighed down with all things inflatable. We look like a walking trade show. One child is crammed in the front seat with his head lodged under a floatie. An old lady across the street is yelling at me. She is vigilantly telling me that there is NO way all those children are mine. When I tell her, a good 8 times, she decides I am lying and scoots across the street to further interrogate my children. As we are having this friendly little discussion, my peripherals notice a stirring in the bushes. The very large dog like creature had been resting under the shade of a tree when his curiosity got the best of him and he decided to come our way. As he stumbled up to where we were, I noticed that this indeed was not a nice domesticated animal, but a mangy, rabbis infested wolf. His eyes had crusty white circles around them and his mouth was dripping with foam. Its fur was dark brown and was twisted in knots covering the patches of scars and disease.

Normally, when I see a stray dog, I make a game plan on how best to drop kick it to the next county. Had I tried to drop kick this thing, it would have taken off my leg. At this point, the old lady who was grilling me about my family was now screaming and running around like a bee had flown up her shorts. She wailed in fear for a security guard while another man called the police. The wolf has now sauntered over to my area. I grabbed all of my kids and threw them behind the bushes. I told them to face the wall and don't talk. Selah was crying, Makaria's face was jammed into the concrete and Kesed was not within arms reach. I used the stroller to barricade us in and frantically grabbed Kesed to my side. Earlier, I had been upset with myself for forgetting to bring snacks. Snacks are always an important pool outing element because it gives me a reason for a fake safety break so that I can get warm. Mr. Wolf is now sniffing in our stroller looking for food. Thank you Jesus I'm so disorganized! There was no food to be found.

After circling in our area for a few minutes, he galloped over to the old lady. She had dropped her bag of groceries and he was now tearing into it. Now old lady is not just scared, she is ticked. If there's one thing you need to know about Chinese grandmothers is that buying groceries is no laughing matter. They take it VERY seriously and now big wolf man is eating her fish, meat and plastic bags. She is now crying, stomping her legs and yelling at the wolf to stop eating her dumplings.

As he began in on her bag, I saw an opportunity to get my kids out of there. I whispered to them "GO, GO, GO." There was a fence about 50 feet away and I knew that if we could reach that then we would be safe. Albeit for a much less valiant cause, I did feel a bit like Harriet Tubman smuggling slaves in the cloak of night. I was pushing the stroller in one hand and had a child dangling in my other hand and running towards the fence. Once we finally reached the safety zone, we felt relief as if we'd just crossed the border into a freed man's territory.

The kids and I were all visibly shaking. By that point, about 10 security guards had come and were trying to solve the little wolf issue. But not even policemen carry guns here, so I'm not sure what they were going to do with this thing. All I know is that we are all safe.

*as a side note, this internet picture of a wolf doesn't even come close to the size of that huge thing we encountered this morning.

Week 2: Operation Sanity

2011-06-24T10:10:00.002+08:00

We have crossed the finish line of week 2 of hubs being gone. In the last lap of this week's race, it felt like a band of hooligans jumped out from behind a low lying bush and ambushed me with a two by four. But as I reflected back on this week, there are a few things I am sure of:

1. Adrenaline is God's greatest creation. Ever. He created it to keep all mothers out of jail.

2. I am tired of hearing the phrase "Mommy, I need..." While this phrase was cute and innocent and left a sense of joy and purpose in my mind when my first child began to speak, this phrase now feels like the moaning of a dying cat as his abdomen is being run over by a semi. It makes my shoulders tense up and a look come across my face like I'm trying to saw off my arm. With a spoon.

Here's a little math fact for you:

If each of my children say "Mommy, I need..." 7 times in one hour, 5 x 7=35 times an hour I hear that lovely phrase. 14 hours later (14 x 35=490 times in one day). Currently there is only one set of ears to hear that call and I will say that at about the 314th time, I want to run, hide under my bed, and suck my thumb.

3. I wish I was one of those parents who just let their kids watch movies and play video games all day. They could eat Coco Puffs and drink Mountain Dew and just inhale movies all day long. I realize that this formula adds up to the makings of either a unibomber or someone who eats Cheetos off their sweatshirt at age 40, while living on my living room couch, but man it would sure make today easier.

4. I just ate a mango. Ya know what, mangoes are one of the most amazing fruits ever to grow on a tree. But they are also incredibly messy. Beautiful, sweet, satisfying and alarmingly messy. If I had more than one brain cell working at a time, I would write about what an accurate analogy this is to life.

As I go into the weekend, I have a very simple goal: Not blow it.

Keepin' it simple folks, keepin' it simple.

My inheritance

2011-06-23T06:02:00.002+08:00

A.W. Tozer wrote, "The man who has God for his treasure has all things in one. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight."

The Lord has been gracious to me this week and given me unspeakable joy in Him. As I was talking with a friend last night in my kitchen, I was reminded of this gift from the Lord. It truly is a gift because as I'm rounding out week 2 of hubs being gone, I am also finishing up a week that brought me:

loss of electricity
broken internet
a wanky air conditioner
a broken stove
and a househelper that is out sick (I will say that I could NOT do life here with 5 kids without her help)

But in all these things, I am reminded that I've been given an inheritance from the Lord that should outweigh all the inconveniences in my day. That, and that alone, is the only truth that will sustain my joy today.

Coffee Issues?

2011-06-21T10:36:00.000+08:00

I will affectionately title this picture

"Chinese student, PhD candidate, father of 5"

Adoption "Ideal"

2011-06-19T06:09:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I get really frustrated at people asking the "Is this ideal?" question in adoption. I've had people run fearfully away from adopting because having an transracial family isn't "ideal." As the world sees it, our identity is merely formed by the bits and pieces of our environment. Where we live, who are our neighbors, what type of house do we live in, the color of our skin. All of these things come together to fashion who we are. What the world fails to see is that Christ took all of those fallen identity bricks and replaced them with a redemptive cornerstone. He knew an identity built on bricks made by our own decisions and life patterns would crumble or at the very least become replace with new, more promising bricks as our discontented hearts yearned for our neighbor's homes. Jesus knew our transformation had to require a complete leveling of the old structure.

This is why adoption makes no sense to the world. Bring a baby into a white family who lives in China among all yellow faces?! Ridiculous. And they will puff up and retort "Certainly this will cause that child's identity to be confused and misplaced!" So they recommend leaving that child, leaving my daughter, in an orphanage among her own people and culture. To leave my daughter in a place that can't feed her or put a book in her hands to read. Why has remaining in a home culture become a blinder to seeing what is really happening? If I gave birth to a child with one arm, would the logic tell me that I should ship this child off to some camp of one armed people so they can raise him and where he can feel good about himself?! The Livesays who live in Haiti just aptly wrote on this from the perspective of what they are seeing happen there in regards to orphan care. We had a friend just this week get notice that his adoption agency was dropping them because they lived in China and were adopting an Ethiopian baby and the agency thought that the social pressures the child would feel were just too great. Sociologists and psychologists make these hypothesis' about what is best for a child based on what they assume is best for a human-to remain among it's own people. What they are forgetting to see is the whole child. Is remaining in a home culture best when that home culture is not able to provide what they need? Is it ideal that a white mom is raising a black child, maybe not. But I would also argue that living in a fallen world also isn't ideal. We live in a world where ideals are many times just a mirage. We live in a world where children die of dehydration, parents sell their children to the black market, and diseases are spread simply because people aren't wearing shoes. Ideally, none of these things would be happening.

God knew all of this. He sent Joseph a dream to reveal to him that his adoption of Jesus as his own Son was a perfect plan. God gently whispered to Makaria that although her birth parents weren't able to raise her, His plan was to bring her to an all white family living in China. And that... was a perfect plan. If we place our identity in the things and people around us instead of on being a new creation buried in Christ, then we will continue to see adoption as a set of "not ideals", but it is so much more than that. It's the story of Christ being adopted by Joseph, being raised by parents who taught him the Jewish scriptures, sent to the cross by his Heavenly Father and killed by the children He was sent here to save in the first place. This is a messy, tragic, beautifully perfect plan set in motion by a God who has His very own definition of what is 'ideal'.

Week 1: Operation Loneliness

2011-06-18T05:59:00.001+08:00

Week 1.

It's been a week since Brad left, which I realize for all those military wives, is pathetic and not worth mentioning. For the most part, it's been a good week. There have been a few bumps along the way, like the speed bumps that you think will be small but then you actually hit them and it sends your neck whiplashing forward like you've just been hit by a semi. Ya, those types of bumps. But we've made it. I'm trying not to look forward on the calendar and gaze at all the empty boxes still left to mark off.

I actually think that one of the hardest parts is loneliness. I have found myself having very profound conversations with my coffee mug. See, in our new city, I've only got a few people that I can call friends. The past two weeks, two of those people have been out of town. They come back this week, but I have realized how quickly I grow weary without community. I've seen my head swivel as I look for someone else to receive the words "Mommy, I need..." I have watched myself start and not finish 15 blogs because writing about how I saw a bird take it's last breath and keel over in the street yesterday isn't really blog worthy material. I just needed to tell the story.

So many of you have been incredible in your consistent emails and prayers for me and my family. Those words on my computer screen have been a huge source of encouragement. There are times I've been clinging to the words that you all have typed to remind me that we are not forgotten.

And...the birds are eating my basil again. I don't want to have to drop kick a sparrow, but I'm getting dangerously close to having to do it.

Thanks for praying, thanks for writing, thanks for sustaining.

Gospel Coalition on Adoption

2011-06-17T08:37:00.003+08:00

Voddie Baucham and Russell Moore do an incredible job of explaining adoption and it's implications at both a practical and Biblical level. Even if you aren't going to adopt yourself, as a believer, we need to fully understand what adoption and being adopted fully means.

Take some time to listen or politely send the link to all the people that think you have lost it for even considering adoption. It's a polite way of telling those naysayers to stick it.

Here ya go: Gospel Coalition on Adoption

Last year, I was blessed by getting to go to the Together for Adoption conference in Austin, TX. This year they are meeting in Phoenix, AZ on Oct. 21-22. This is something that you cancel meetings and find a good baby sitter to come to. It places the gospel rightfully in the center of adoption and gives you a weekend to learn, grow and be broken for the cause of adoption. I cannot more strongly recommend this conference to you guys. I've even had single guy friends go and come away changed. So hop over, register and figure out the details later.

Children's Day 2011

2011-06-15T07:47:00.000+08:00

June 1st is Children's Day here. I will argue that most days are children's day here, but this is the designated celebration day. 4 of our kids go to the pre-school/kindergarten for half of the day. But today the school was turned into a 3 story playground. Previously, our children ~~have been subjected to~~

danced in their Children's Day performances. I am convinced these performances are only for the parents to get pictures and mortify their children on the day of their wedding. I told the principal this year thank you for not making us do the performance thing again.

On the third floor they decorated hats,

did a sand art project with 85,000 other kids,

and gazed longingly at the outside festivities. It was this glance downstairs that projected us to skip most of level 2 and 1.

But on level one there were lots of snacks that could be earned as you moved around to each station.

One of the large dance rooms had several games laid out. There was the "blow the ping pong across the cups" game, the "hang the banana on the wire game" and finally, the "stack the empty crushed cans game."

And no Chinese celebration would be complete without a Karaoke station.

Remaining culturally appropriate, the kids slid on silver plastic slippers before entering the sand box.

But then took off their shoes, shirt and pants to ~~step on and crush~~

catch unsuspecting fish. You were supposed to catch these little guys and then take them home and cook them for lunch. Tapping into the conservationist side, or maybe just the wise parent side, we simply let the fish go.

None of this stopped my boys from jumping right in. Any excuse to be naked, stomp around in water, catch fish and step on the dead ones was good for them.

And of course, no event is complete without an interview of the foreigners. They pulled Malachi aside and asked him several questions. Then they grabbed Brad and I and asked us our thoughts on the celebration. The camera man and interviewer lady ran around the rest of the park looking for the other foreign kids to catch on camera.

And then we headed inside to pose for more pictures.

This time the pictures were for the other parents attending the festivities.

Makaria has got this school wrapped around her little finger. She flashes those eye lashes and says good morning in Chinese and just about gets whatever she wants in a day.

Malachi wanted to make sure and do everything, so he ended his time by making soy bean paste with an ancient Chinese machine. The school did a fabulous job and each kid walked out with treats and toys in the end. I will say that it was crazy, but super fun.

Star Wars part 9: Battle of the Air Conditioner

2011-06-13T08:30:00.000+08:00

You can hear the Star Wars music begin to wash over the sun as we enter the bedroom for the night. It's been a day of wins and losses. Triumphs and victories.

Yet...the biggest, most epic battle was still to come. Just how low would the air conditioner be set in our bedroom.

The warm blooded Luke Sky Walker always sneaks in as the sun tucks in for the night and begins running the air conditioner while the unsuspecting Princes Leia is still at the table. Sky Walker is used to the nightly battle and tries to subvert her attempts by setting the evil air conditioner to "Arctic" while they peacefully eat dinner with their 5 crazy Ewoks.

As Princess Leia enters their room, her skin begins to shrivel into tiny ice crystals. She tries to throw on her force field blankets and roll up into a protective sphere, but they are no match. Luke Sky Walker's blood is made of molten lava. He will never grow cold.

So, Princess Leia will continue to shiver and resort to resuscitating all of her frost bitten appendages each morning.

Trying to be brave

2011-06-11T07:39:00.000+08:00

It's day number one. I have moved my computer into his spot at the desk. The coffee is set for one cup and I'm going to leave my socks on the floor tonight. All of this reorganization and shuffling happened after my husband took off this morning to study in the States for the next month.

The few days before he left were spent wrestling, pretending to camp out in the living room and making sure I knew where money was stashed. While I am used to him traveling, I am not accustomed to him being gone so far away for that long. As I got breakfast ready this morning, I realized that fear has crept in. All the 'what if's' have leapt their way into my mind. "What if one of my kids breaks their arm and I have to drag all 5 of us to a hospital? Taxi drivers won't even stop to take us because we are too many people?" Or "What if one of my children gets cancer while he is gone and I am left to make an international flight by myself and my 5 wigwams? I mean, 3 of their passports are almost expired!" I realize that most of these 'what if's' are a little grandiose in their drama, but these have been the thoughts plaguing me today. And if I get right down to it, I'm just not trusting my family to the Lord's care. God doesn't promise me that something major might not happen, but what He does promise me is to walk me through whatever may come.

We ended our time as a family with hot pot. It's my favorite thing to eat in China. The boiling pot of soup is one-half spicy and one half plain. You toss meat, noodles and vegetables and they cook while you hang out and enjoy the company. We laughed and prayed and reminded each other what it means to remain joyful in unsteady times.

Tonight we will go to bed and enjoy tomorrow. The Lord's mercies will be new as we wake. The same Holy Spirit that has equipped me with love, joy, peace, patience and kindness with my husband at home will be waiting for me in the morning. I cannot allow myself to use his being gone as an excuse to be angry with my kids or put out by their interruptions. I am called to remain steadfast in my pursuit of Christ no matter what the day is demanding of me.

White Mom, Black Hair

2011-06-09T05:44:00.000+08:00

I have avoided this post for about a year now. I've avoided it because I feel like I'm still on junior varsity at the whole black hair care game. I've watched so many Youtube videos and looked on blogs like: keepmecurly and beadsbraidsbeyond and others that I forgot to bookmark in my 'black hair care' folder. I also feel like by posting this, people will comment and say I'm doing it all wrong and I am just days from Makaria breaking out in a scalp rash and loosing all her hair from my moronic care of her hair. But, despite my confidence issues in this sphere, I am posting because hopefully it will help some other poor white mom with a black child.

I wash Makaria's hair about once a week. Sometimes twice if she's been outside a lot or it's dry winter time. Again, blogger won't let me cut and paste my pictures, so they are out of order. Ugh. When I wash her hair, I make sure to really rub the hair follicles. Black hair pores are different than my white hair and they need to be massaged and the hair needs to be pulled out gently from the follicle base. Both this and combing her hair every morning will keep it from matting, storing sand and dirt and help it to grow out faster.

When I'm done with the conditioner, I usually comb it out in the bathtub. I try and hold it at the roots to try and not pull her hair too much. This is still the most dramatic part of the process and is usually done with tears and trauma.

At this point her hair is in a round afro.

When she gets out of the bath, I spray on some Black Vanilla Leave-in Conditioner from Carol's Daughter. Everything I use is Carol's Daughter. They are a bit pricey. I've tried other, cheaper products and they just don't seem to work on Makaria's hair. With the amount of product that I need to put in her hair, I also like that the products are natural.

Then I take some of Hair Milk and rub it in both of my hands. I use my fingers to comb it through her hair. This defines her locks and keeps it from getting too frizzy.

You can see the difference now as opposed to the fro action happening in her toilet seat picture above. I've even had black women ask how I got her curls to stay so tight and non-frizzy. It was strange to be giving hair advice to grown black women.

I use this leave-in conditioner right out of the bath and then a few times a week. I use the hair milk every morning. You are supposed to put more on after nap time, but I live in a country with about 13 black people. That makes it very hard to find hair products and consequently super expensive to mail from the states. We go au naturale in the afternoon.

The Tui Herbal shampoo and Tui Smoothie conditioner are what I use once a week to wash her hair. I love the smell of these. They are not fruity, but more herbal smelling. This feature may seem insignificant, but it can be a big deal. When we first brought Makaria home, we were using another product line. My husband hated the smell of it. He commented to me one day "This stuff smells so bad that it makes me not want to hold her and hug on her." I switched the next day.

This is Lisa's hair elixir. It's kind of a hot oil treatment. You can add heat or just leave it in her hair for 5 minutes and then rinse it out. I do the later. I can't imagine her sitting still long enough to add any type of heat whatsoever. I don't use it every time I wash her hair. Maybe every other time.

Every morning, I use a water bottle and spray her hair until it's fairly damp. I then use this comb of torture to brush it out. This is loads of fun each day.

Don't be deceived at these sweet, shifty eyes. This girl hates getting her hair combed out. I've tried every trick in the book, she can see that comb coming a mile away. Then I add a dime size of hair milk to shape her hair. Every few days I'll add the Mimosa Hair Honey. This is more of a greasy product that keeps her hair from frizzing. You can add it if you are keeping their hair in braids or pony tails to tame to fly aways.

Here's my team:

I've recently gotten these children's shampoos, but haven't used them yet. I treat my black hair care products like gold because they are so hard to get here. So when I finish the bottles I am on, I'll give these a try.

This is the elixir that I add some times while in the bath and let it sit for 5 minutes. The Tai Jojoba and Shea Butter Hair Sheen is used to give her hair a little glisten. It came free in a set I bought. It works great, but not an essential. I just use it when I remember to. You spray it on as you are putting the bows and trinkets in her hair.

I have a satin pillowcase for her pillow that helps keep her hair from getting too crazy.

Doing her hair has been a 2 year journey of trial and error. I asked tons of questions and read a gazillion blogs by other adoptive parents. I feel like we're in a good rhythm in our little hair world, but still have a lot to learn.